Tonight, one of our most dear friends on Covered in Cat Hair, Anne (AnnaBanana74 here and on Twitter, too), sent out a number of “Tweets” that sent a shock wave through those of us who follow her. I got a call from Andrew, another one of our CiCH friends, asking me if I'd seen what Anne had been posting. I had not. I ran over to my computer to look. I was sickened and saddened by what I read:
‘Made the decision to disavow most of my family. That's news.”
“Two bottles of wine, 6 Xanax and xx number of Ambien TBD.”
“Hey at least the cats give a fuck”
“Peace out all.”
“Please find my cats and fosters good homes”
and an hour later...this....
“Over”
Everyone experiences difficulties in their lifetime and some come with such force, the only option we might feel we have to stop the hurting is to hurt ourselves, one last time, and to be over and done with this awful life. I'm not reading out of a self help book. I've lived it and lived through it, myself. Tonight Anne called out for help on Twitter. Maybe she was just venting “aloud,” but it was so unlike anything she's ever said before that a number of people perked up and took action.
Another one of our friends, here, Ms Julie G, jumped on the phone, calling Anne (as I had done, along with a few others) and got nothing but ringing or the call went right to voicemail. I left Anne a message asking her to call me right away and that no family argument was worth hurting yourself. Out of concern, Julie called the Police. So did I. So did some other people. Not ONE of us have ever even MET Anne. Tonight was the first time I ever heard her voice on her outgoing message. It didn't matter that we had never met, the cords of love bind us whether we are living in the same house or living hundreds of miles apart. Anne has always been supportive, compassionate, loving to everyone. She is passionate about rescuing her little kitties. She shares advice and offers her heart to whoever needs it.
Something happened to her that tipped her over the edge. She called out for help and her voice was heard loud and clear.
After a number of frantic calls, emails, txts, I finally heard from Julie. She had saved the day...well...and probably saved Anne's life. I'm not totally clear on who's call did the trick, but does it matter? We called. Things happened. They reached the right person at the right Police department. They had spoken to Anne! She WAS alert, but...she HAD tried to hurt herself and needed help.
I don't know much more than that. Anne is in a hospital somewhere in upstate NY. What happens next. I don't know. What I do know is that when I heard that Anne WAS in good hands, I burst out crying and began to shake with relief. I've lost two family members to suicide. No one got to them in time. I've battled with that demon, myself. What causes someone to feel that taking their own life is the solution, is a private, complex matter. Thankfully, for our Anne, she cried out for help, perhaps not realizing just how many people were listening.
Anne, I am so sorry you felt so badly tonight that you wanted to end your life. You need to know that you are NOT alone. We ARE here with you and we DO CARE, so very much. If you think I'm a big jerk for writing about you, please understand, I only do it because I care about you and I want other people to know-other people who might feel just like you or I do, that they, too are not alone.
Please, all of you, if you ever get to a place in your life where you feel like you don't want to go on, remember, the one thing you can count on is things will always change. Take a deep breath. Wait a moment, then...another. Suddenly, you will soften and not feel as badly as you did a few minutes before. Give yourself the chance to take the next breath. There's so much in life to enjoy and experience. Don't let these bad feelings drive you to miss out on all of the wonderful things in the world.
Anne, you are loved. Don't forget that.
National Suicide Prevention Hotline
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