Fluffy

Blitzen's been looking to make friends with the other cats. He's had some success-roughousing with Spencer is a favorite pastime. Nicky gets head licks and wrestling time, too. The girls aren't too receptive of little Blitz, but last night he walked over to Gracie and gave her head a lick-to which she responded by tipping her head down to allow him better access to her. A VERY nice sign, indeed.

This weekend, Blitz decided to go for a nap attempt with Bob. Bob sleeps with Nick and Nora from time to time, but that's about it. It was great he didn't mind having Blitzen share his afternoon nap.

As you can see, Blitzen is growing up. He's up to 7 lbs now!

Seeing this just filled my heart with joy. I hope these two become good friends. I know Blitzen can be annoying. Bob doesn't appreciate the little guy's high energy. Looks like all is well once Blitzen gets tired.

Back massage, sir?

Sweet dreams, boys.

Understanding what results to expect when utilizing Homeopathy, is definitely something I'm learning. It's different from seeing Dr. Larry. With him, I would expect him to prescribe a shot or pill, etc., then within a specific amount of time, I'd expect results. I'd also end up effecting Gracie in ways none of us would intend. For instance, if I'd caved in and told Dr. Larry to give her steroids, she's be looking very nice right now, but internally, I would have done damage to her that might not manifest right away. They call steroids “the silver bullet” for a good reason. They work great for lots of reasons, but there's a price to pay, which includes potentially causing a whole slew of immune related problems and worse, which end up shortening the life span of the cat. For a geriatric cat in poor health, steroids can give them comfort and help them find their appetite during their final days. In a young cat, I would avoid it if at all possible. Each situation is different and you need to discuss using steroids on your cat with your Vet.

I just got back from visiting Dr. Hermans. We had a good conversation, then she examined Gracie. Firstly, Gracie's nasty self-mutilation IS HEALING NICELY! I was only able to apply some calendula based first aid cream to her twice, along with some bitter apple around the site of the injury. Since she was healing with little help from me, that's actually a good sign that she's STOPPED chewing on herself.

We also discussed diet. Gracie may not be tolerating the food I changed the cats over to. They all go crazy eating it, but Gracie wants it too and she can't have it so she won't eat or she'll wait and try to get some scraps off another plate. This doesn't work since there usually are NO scraps left. Now I've been given the OK to open up the choices of food I give her, which should help inspire her to eat more consistently. Juggling what to feed 8 cats is a pain in the ass. Dr. H said there is “no such thing as feeding all cats in a multi-cat household, the same food.” It's a “Holy Grail” that can't be reached if your cats are of such varying ages and from different backgrounds. Gee, I didn't have enough to feel bad about! Ugh.

So back to the food drawing board. Hopefully, I will get this figured out. The math involved in all of this “how many ozs of food/how many lbs of cat” is driving me nuts. We have a bit over 100 lbs of cat, but each one gets a different amount of food. I can't feed them all the same amount because it's too costly and I don't want the cats to get fat.

We spoke, again, about re-homing Gracie. Dr. Larry feels it's time for me to do that and Dr. H says, “No. Not right now.” The problem here is my expectations, more than anything else. I'm used to a quick fix. Homeopathy doesn't work quickly-espeically for something like dermatitis. It's going to be up and down over a long period of time. There are no guarantees, either. This may not work, but we haven't given it long enough and Dr. H does see signs that Gracie IS responding to treatment. If she was in bad shape, she'd have kept on chewing her leg. She may have had a flare up. Hard to say. I can't imagine finding a home for her with no other cats or dogs, where the new owner would not give her steroids for her skin or who would feed raw and follow her health needs. It's just not going to happen. Crossing fingers: I will get her back in good shape one day and prove Dr. Larry wrong. Gracie can stay here and be happy AND healthy!

Bottom line is that I need to give Gracie more alone time-which I've been doing the past few nights and we're going to adjust the treatment she's getting and give that to her more often and she how she does. She won't be getting acupuncture just yet. Apparently it does not go well with Homeopathy! We can only do one thing at a time. Who knew?

December 17, 2009. 7pm EST. A date and time I will never forget. It was the start of a three month long trial that shook my resolve to the core and left me questioning whether or not I could go on. It ripped my very long term relationship into shreds. It broke my heart. It left me crying and raging, all for a handful of homeless shelter cats.

Donner, Prancer, Dancer and Blitzen the day they arrived.

The journey of Santa's Team is ending. No more medicating wriggling kittens 50 times a day. No more force feeding them or endless Vet runs. It's done now. We made it. We're all okay and now...my little wards are leaving the “nest” just hours after Jennifer's two were adopted.

Prancer & Dancer. ©2010 Photo by Ryan Feminella (my nephew!)

Yesterday, a family from Newtown met Dancer and Prancer. Though we all wished the two girls could stay together, they could only take one. Prancer left with them in a brand new cat carrier, off to meet her new friend, Luna. She will be renamed, Bella. A nice match and a pretty name for a quirky kitten. I'm invited to stop over and visit “any time” and was promised lots of photos and updates. I think Prancer will be happy with her new family. I hope she's not missing us too much.

Prancer. ©2010 Photo by Ryan Feminella

Donner was supposed to be adopted yesterday, too, but I put a stop to it. I've never had to tell someone to their face that I couldn't go on with an adoption and I feel terrible about it. I screened the young applicants as best I could. Some things didn't add up and I pressed them for more information. I found out they lied on their form and they declared it was not done to deceive, but an innocent mistake. The damage was done. I kept trying to make it work and I should have stopped the adoption the second I found out about the lie, but I wanted to give them a chance. In the end, I discovered some other things that weren't so hot and I realized I had to trust my instincts. It was not a stable placement for Donner. For now, she's staying with me until I can sort things out for her.

Donner. ©2010 Photo by Ryan Feminella

It would be one thing I was selling a car, but this is a living creature who may live 20 or more years. As much as I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings, I'd rather have them hate me, than let Donner go somewhere that wasn't right for her.

Last night, another cat was adopted. It's Cupid's turn.

Mama. Cupid. ©2009 Photo by Henry County Care & Control

Cupid-what a journey you've made. From an emaciated Mama, on the verge of being euthanized to weighing more than twice what you did when you arrived, with a glossy, soft coat and life in your eyes. I did this. I fattened you up. I saved your life. This is one of the most meaningful things I have ever done. It really hurts to see you leave, but there's so much joy in my heart and so much relief. Cupid didn't have to die on a cold steel table in a heartless shelter. She is the living proof all the effort was worth it.

Cupid, today-chubby and content. ©2010 Photo by Robin Olson

Now Cupid will get a break from her kittens-one that will last the rest of her life. She'll be the only cat in a well-to-do family's home. She'll have two doggie friends and a kind 9 year old boy and his toddler sister to play with. Their Au Pair from Uruguay can't wait for Cupid to arrive and has asked if Cupid can live in her room with her, until Cupid adjusts to her new home. She will make sure everyone is looked after and loved and Cupid will never have a worry again. Her new parents are going to feed her a raw diet!!! They also are spending the next few days shopping for her, so they've asked me to hold her until Friday, while they buy her cat trees and scratching posts, toys and get the raw food ready, too. I could not ask for more!

As much as I'd like her to go with one of her kittens, I see her frustration and anger towards them some times. I think she'll enjoy being pampered and I know, in time, any sadness she'll have will be replaced by the love of her new family.

Cupid and Dancer kiss goodbye. ©2010 Photo by Robin Olson

That will leave, of the original nine cats, just three: Donner, Blitzen and Dancer. Since I first wrote this article, there's been an update. In a few hours, a family is coming to meet Dancer and Donner. They've wanted a cat for months and have been searching for the right fit. They're very excited to meet the girls and with no pets, other than fish, the girls will be spoiled rotten. Saying goodbye to Donner will be very very tough. She was my inspiration to rescue this cat-family. When I saw her little face, I knew I had to do something.

How do you say, No to those faces? Photo taken at Henry Co. Care & Control in GA.

Donner & Blitzen today. ©2010 Photo by Ryan Feminella

There is one other bit of news. There's been a gesture made to me. A folded note, left upon my desk, with words that brought more tears. From Sam, to me...not a goodbye, but one last promise. That no matter what happens to us and whatever we choose to do next, he will love me forever-even if it means farewell and our paths go separate directions.

My heart is not so cold that his words did not effect me. While there is no certainty of what tomorrow will bring, perhaps it's time to put our weapons down and remember what's important?

My lonely ring finger has its' old friend back. My lonely heart has a glimmer of hope and my lonely life isn't so lonely after all.

To my little foster babies. Good luck on your next adventure. May you live long and happy lives.

I was going to post a big article today about some recent events but I've had to hold off on publishing it for another day. In the meantime, please enjoy this uber-cute photo my nephew, Ryan, shot of the girls: Prancer & Dancer!

©2010 Ryan C. Feminella

Last night while I was sitting at my desk, surfing the net, I heard a loud noise from the foster room, which is on the floor above my office.
Okay, so I'm not great about looking in on every single loud noise I hear. Usually, the cats have either unplugged the cable box or knocked books onto the floor, but this sound was rather a loud “thud.” I gave it a few minutes, then dragged my fat arse up the stairs to see “what now?!” was going on.

“Hello, Cupid.”

This is a cover for one of my studio lights, called a soft box. It's used in photography. Instead of folding it down and storing it, I have it sitting on top of a shelf in the foster room. Apparently, Cupid go up into the shelf, then into the soft box, then fell. Once she landed, she realized she could not get OUT of the contraption!

When I walked into the room, she just sat there and stared at me. If I hadn't checked on her...yikes...she might have had a bad night and I might of had a poop filled soft box...so to speak.

I think Cupid was embarrassed and I was certainly amused. Amused enough so that I didn't help her right away. Bad foster mommy. I had to take photos first. Hey, I have my priorities.

Dear Clare,

Thank you for the homemade cat mats. I know I'm supposed to give them to the foster cats-and I will, but I had to “test drive” one on my cats first.

Dear Clare,

What did you put in the cat mat? Spencer's sense of smell is poor. Normally he isn't interested in catnip. Is there something you want to tell me? Spencer is bunny-kicking the shit out of this mat. His eyes are glazed over. What is going on?

Dear Clare,

My cats won't share. They want their own mat. If they don't get one, they'll spat.

Dear Clare,

There is more square feet of cat, than there is square foot of cat mat. Can you make me a bedspread sized one?

Dear Clare,

Do you know if there's a catnip rehab facility in Connecticut? I'm thinking Bob might need to go there. He looks like he's had a bit too much and Nicky can't stop rolling around and yeowling incoherently. I'm afraid the neighbors are going to call the cops.

Dear Clare,

Nora would like to know if you can rub her belly to maximize her user experience (since she can no longer reach her own belly).

Dear Clare,

Nicky also asked if you could rub something, but I had to edit out what he said. I blame the drugs for his ungentlemanly outburst...plus, he had a surgery a few years ago and that sort of limited his options in that department, anyway.

Dear Clare & All My Dear CiCH Readers,

It's friends like you that are like a big mat of catnip for me. I can wrap myself up in your comforting words and breathe deep, feeling suddenly quite invigorated and alive when only moments before I was too busy licking my wounds to do much else.

With Love,

Robin

People often ask me; ”How can you let foster cats go? Don't you miss them? Doesn't it make you sad? Cry?”

I energetically answer that if I don't adopt them out, I can't rescue more. I already have seven cats, which is more than plenty. It's not wise to add on to the “family” for a variety of reasons. Sure, it hurts when the cats leave, but usually they're only here from just a few days to a few weeks. If that's the case, hey, anyone can do this. Just keep them moving in, then leaving promptly. It's doable.

What happens when it's NOT the case? What happens not only when you've had foster cats for a few MONTHS, but what if they were all sick? They all needed you? Some were so sick you didn't know if they would survive? How can you not become deeply attached?

How do you let THOSE foster cats go?

Jennifer has been caring for Rudy & Comet for months. They are no longer in their foster room, but have the full run of the house. They frolic and play and love life. Jennifer's been crying, thinking about them leaving. I've been reminding her that we'll find them a great home and we'll keep them together if we can. That she can't adopt more cats. Jennifer not only has plenty of cats, too, but she has seniors and special needs kitties. Adding two spunky kittens to that mix would not be good in the long term.

I'm not telling her anything she hasn't told herself. She's steeling herself for the day, which may come VERY soon, for when she has to say goodbye to them and I feel really bad about that. I never wanted her to have a bad experience fostering, but I can't protect her from this.

I, too, am faced with the same thing.

Today was the big day. After MONTHS of struggle, I was able to put all but Blitzen on Petfinder. The cats are ready to go, at last!

The problem is...in looking over my photos and selecting the ones that are the cutest and will garner lots of interested adopters, I found myself awash in tears. I could barely type out a description or upload a photo. I'm still crying now.

I just kept looking at their faces. I missed them and they are still here. I never want any of them to leave. They've all captured my heart and I honestly don't know if I can be here when they get adopted.

And if this wasn't painful enough, Sam and I are done after 17 years. I am flat out heartbroken. The person I used to be able to go to when I was sad and needed a hug is lost to me, probably forever.

I have lost so much in my life. I don't know how to go on.

I suppose this is what they call burnout or just a big, bad bump in the road? Whatever it's called, I don't recommend it.

At almost four months of age, Blitzen is looking like a proper kitty now.

After a long, miserable night, spent mostly with food poisoning and an empty bed, I managed to get up another day and begin the usual rounds of caring for the cats. Tomorrow Blitzen is slated to be neutered. I called the Vet to double check that it was still all right to bring him, bearing in mind he has something on his head that is...I'm not supposed to make a diagnosis to this Vet, but...it's RINGWORM, OK?

It's hard to hold a wiggly kitten still long enough to look and my close-up vision ain't what it used to be. It wasn't until I looked at the photos that I could see just how bad things were looking.

You tell me that's not ringworm!

There's the telltale crust. It's gotta be ringworm. I've been treating it topically, but I wonder if I should do more? I guess I can wait until the Vet sees him tomorrow. Of the 4 kittens, he was the sickest, the longest, so it's not a complete surprise, BUT..now what? What about his siblings? He's going to have to be with me another few weeks. There is no where to quarantine him too. Everyone has been exposed. I'm in full “fuck-it” mode about this ringworm nightmare.

Sick or not, I've really fallen for this little guy. I'm not sure I can part with him. Maybe I'm willing him to stay here and he's responding by getting sick again? Sure. I have super powers. Why can't I have the super power that wins me a huge lottery payout?

I'd settle for super powers that make Blitzen be the last cat (or PERSON) I EVER see with RINGWORM!

I was just thinking about this blog post. How I was going to write that this is it. In a few days, I can start putting some of the fosters up for adoption. FINALLY! We have an adoption event coming up on March 6th. Perfect!

About 5 minutes after I took this photo of me with Blitzen, I thought I would check on this bloody scratch I found on his head a few days ago. I couldn't really see it, but it felt crusty. My heart sank.

I got Sam to hold Blitz for me so I could look with a magnifying lens. Yeah, looked ringwormy. Then I got out my black light and looked again. I think it was florescing green-the telltale sign but his tear ducts looked a bit green, too.

So tomorrow I'll see if I can get the little bugger over to see Dr. Larry. If it IS ringworm, I can probably kiss any hope of getting this kittens adopted before they are adults, out the window. At almost three months off schedule, this is just killing me to have them here this long.

Oh well. Not like this is all that surprising. What I'm waiting for is for ME to get it. I predict I will get a big BALD ringworm lesion on my head just around my birthday in April and my trip to attend BlogPaws. Just you wait. I said it here, first!

A very nice couple in their 50's were looking to add to their family. Their three previous Maine Coons had all passed away from old age, so they were looking for a new kitty companion. Grayson is on his way to his new home already or might even be there by now!

Thank you to everyone for putting out the word for this sweet boy!

And no...we're not done yet. Grayson was being fostered with a sweet, but shy black kitty. This little baby had a nightmarish, Hellish life. Someone took a SCISSORS to her EARS and cut them off. While she is not a super beauty, she deserves a great home to call her own, where she will be SAFE from further abuse and discover that humans can give love and not just pain.

I'll have photos and more info shortly and then we'll start this whole process again!