Should I Stay or Should I Go Now?

I love Bob. I love him so much. Two days ago, when he fell over 16 feet off my deck and I had to wait while he was under observation at Dr. Larry's, it made me realize all to well, just how BAD it will be when it's Bob's time to pass on. Those two hours were long and lonely. Even with six other cats running around, the place feels empty without Bob. He's the ambassador! He must greet everyone who walks in the door. His purr is the craziest thing I've ever heard. It's loud, it's squeaky and it comes so easily to Bob. I always know when he's in trouble when he stops purring.

Although we had the good news that Bob's ultrasound was unremarkable and his ALT popped down, Bob's been down today. He's been sleeping under a table, which he never does. I cajoled him to come sit next to me on the floor, where I had a blanket and heating pad for him. He sat on it momentarily, but got up and went under a different table. He DID eat breakfast and lunch. He does purr. I know he must be sore, but I don't have anything I can give him for the pain.

I talked to Super Deb (who has gorgeous hair, by the way) and am waiting to hear back. It's so difficult to have Bob feeling down when I know in less than 24 hours I'm flying to Chicago. Sam will be here, but he'll be busy with work and not around. Deb suggested I just board him so they can watch him at my Vet's office. I don't want to stress Bob out, but I don't know that I can leave him alone most of the day tomorrow and Friday. I might opt to board Bob for two days and let Sam watch him on the weekend. If I was going away a week later, this would not be such a big deal.

Between severe fear of flying and worrying about Bob, it's sure easy to say I should just stay home and not go on my trip. BUT...it's to the Feline Forum! I would really love to meet Pam Johnson-Bennett. Her book, "How to Think Like a Cat" changed my life. It's because of her that I've been able to help a lot of people with their cat behavior problems. I don't know enough about correcting problematic cat behavior and I want to ask Pam how I can learn more without having to become a Vet to do so. Also, there are TONS of folks who live for and love cats that will be there. I'm even supposed to meet one of our CiCH members, too! How can I miss out on this because of my own stupid fear? Ugh. I wish I wasn't so scared of flying! I know I'm doing myself a huge disservice by not just living my life and enjoying every bit of it I have left.

This is why some wonderful researcher figured out Xanax Yesterday, my Nurse/Practioner gave me a short course to get me through the next few days. I've normally been the type to just cry, get the runs, throw up before flying, but now that I'm older, I would rather take the easy way out and self medicate. Heck, it's just for a few days. It seems to be helping, but I can also feel when it's wearing off-my gut begins to do summersaults again.

This is no big deal. It's a short flight from NY to Chicago. Famous last words.

Oh, Super Deb just called. I have to give Bob, Metacam. FU@K! If he goes into renal failure there is gonna be HELL TO PAY and I'm talkin' to YOU SUPER DEB and DR. LARRY! I'm talkin' to YOU!

I'll be updating my Blog from Chicago, so stay tuned!