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This kitten season was slow to get off the ground, then went gangbusters, pushing our resources and emotions to the breaking point. Fortunately, we've been able to get enough moments, and I really mean MOMENTS, to recover so we can gear up for the next "thing." I believe it's effecting me more this year, than last because I'm far more involved than ever before. I'm glad, almost relieved that I've finally gotten to a point where I have permission to make the call on if we bring an animal into the Program. It also means that I've become in charge of our newest foster home and taken on the responsibility for all the cats that came up from Georgia and any cats that I decide to pull from other states. I'm also coordinating adoption events, designing flyers and promo pieces, photographing cats at our foster families, doing Vet runs, thinking up new ways to get donations and trying to take good care of my own cats, as well as the never ending, always fluctuating number of foster cats. The tricky part of this "job" is working with the public. I need to be gracious and friendly, when some times I want to wring someone's neck or just shake them hard, hoping some sense will uncork itself and drop into the right spot in their neural network. It tests my compassion and I'm sure Sam is tired of me going on and on about how I can't believe what some people say to me. For the record, I sincerely want everyone who wants to adopt from us, to be able to do so. For the reality of this situation-well that's different. This is an open letter to the people who, for whatever reason, I end up having to tell, I can't allow them to adopt a cat or kitten from us.
Dear Person, Persons or Family,
Most of the cats and kittens in our Program had a rough start in life. Some were abandoned by heartless owners. Some were born into the wild, not knowing human kindness. Others were abused or ignored, allowing disease to destroy their limbs, eyes, or trust. Our Volunteers take these animals into their homes, not knowing if their new wards carry diseases, like ringworm, upper respiratory infections, feline leukemia or FIV.
These cats might have ear mites, fleas or worms; though we treat for those things right away, some times those pests are passed into our homes and onto our own resident cats. We may be forced to do tons of laundry to clean all the bedding that's destroyed by kittens who haven't figured out their litter box protocol yet or if there's an outbreak of fleas.
We constantly worry over every loose stool or every little sneeze. We get frustrated when a timid kitten won't turn around and finally allow human contact. We worry we won't find a good home for the few adult cats we dare to take into our care. We look at our donations dwindling and take the money out of our own pocket so as to make it easier to take in another kitten. We do without a new car, without a vacation, without sleep.
We do all this for that one moment, when a wonderful, loving adopter comes to us and offers to adopt one or more of our kitties. We do this for the look in someone's eye, when they hold their new kitty for the first time and that kitty relaxes in their arms and purrs and that person is flat out smitten. They see a healthy, well-adjusted animal. They don't know what it took to get them there. They just see the end product. They don't need to know more than that, but they should realize it and they should appreciate it.
This is why I'm so offended and angry when some people think they can adopt a kitten, then bring it back if it "doesn't work out." If the kitten "likes the dog, better than me." Well, what did you do to encourage that to happen?
I've heard things like; Well, some of us really want a DOG, but some want a cat, so the cat people win. Some of us are allergic to cats, but that's okay, too, right? If the cat sheds or rips up the furniture, well we'll just return it. We won't try to learn about ways to work with this problem, the way you did when the kitten was pooping all over your bed. If the cat does anything other than just love me and use it's litter pan properly, well then, you'll hear from me because I'm the customer and if this "product" is faulty. There's just no room for that in my home.
So when can we pick the cutest kitten and take it home with us? I hope it's not going to grow too big. Can you assure me that this kittens personality will be perfect? It's only eight weeks old, but you can tell me, right? My kid is screaming at me and demanding a kitten. We want that ONE, that ONE right THERE. We don't care if it's shy. It's really cute and I need to shut my kid up, so give us that kitten NOW so I can get out of here. I don't care that it's a 20 year commitment. It's not. I can always "get rid of it" if it doesn't work out. I can just lie because I don't want to really take full responsibility for this animal's well being. I just want it to be easy.
Was caring for your KID, easy? Did you put him up for adoption because he spit up on your favorite blouse or because he cried all night and you didn't get any sleep? Did you toss your husband out the door because he knocked a vase off the table by accident and broke it? How is it any different if your cat pees on the rug because it's frightened of your dog or frightened of your kid?
I ask you, dear Person, Persons or Family to really THINK about what you're doing. How willing ARE you to take responsibility for the future well being of a two pound animal that's only been ALIVE for two months? I ask you to not be selfish, thoughtless or self-centered. There are situations where it's flat out NOT appropriate to adopt a kitten. Are you going to let it outdoors when you live near a busy road? Are you only adopting ONE kitten, knowing it will be left alone most of the day so it can become a neurotic mess when it's more appropriate to adopt an adult cat, but you don't want to because cats aren't as cute as kittens? Are you going to think the poor kitten is trying to get REVENGE on you because it didn't use the litter pan?
I didn't sacrifice a majority of my time and give up making a decent living so you can treat this animal like a commodity! I won't adopt a kitten to you if you demand it of me. I won't appease your sullen child. I won't give in to your impulsive desires or ridiculous assumptions about proper cat behavior.
Go to the store and buy a ceramic sculpture of a kitten or a stuffed animal. Put it on the mantle or table top. Dust it once in awhile. It will never shed or claw the furniture. It will never get old or need anything from you and if you end up changing your mind about it later, you can throw it in the trash or put it in a box in the closet and no one will care.
This doesn't mean you're a bad person. Well, yes it does. To me, it does, but who am I to decide such things? I'm sure if this post annoys you, you can complain about it and maybe it will get tossed in the trash, too?
Not really sincerely, but I'm trying...
You-know-who
Comments
Exactly
I'm always amazed (and not in a good way) when I cross paths with people who see animals as disposable things. Like every other form of ignorance, this knows no socioeconomic, racial or gender-based boundary. They want what they want, when they want it, and they expect to get it with no questions asked. Having a pet is NOT a right; it is a privilege and responsibility. I think this message is out there more than it ever has been before and if we keep speaking out, I hope that it will continue to spread.
Thank you for standing up, and speaking for those who can't!
I'm sorry if what you said offends some people, BUT somebody has to say it, because the animals can't.
It people like you who I respect. I know that I can't do the job you do, and it upset me to see these cats , just thrown away, or returned
like an object without life.
Everything you said hit the nail on the head.
How do you make a contribution to your group? I can't send much, but
after what you said, I shake something out of my change purse to help! After all alot of littles add up to alot of big!
Found the Twittie link right next to my post-Duh!!!
And for the record, they should have kept his name, Twittie!!
THEY DID!
Final word on the new name, is they're keeping the old one, so Tweetie it is, or Tweets, for short!
:-)
THANK YOU FOR THE DONATION, too! I really appreciate it!
Don't feel bad about saying this.
It's not much different than what I was told 2 1/2 years ago adopting my first cat by the lady that ran the rescue the kitty came from. I had never owned a cat before, so of course she was approached me with trepidation.
I was asked some tough questions. I was asked if I planned to have kids, and if so what I thought I would do if my kitty would ever attack one of my kids. I was asked what I would do if I or any member of my family developed allergies to kitty, and what I would do if kitty ever had elimination problems. And what would I do if I had to move across the country? Would I be committed to making sure he adapted to such a major transition? Or would I be tempted to leave him behind?
At first I wondered why I was being asked so many questions, but after a few days with a kitty home (I must have done something right), I realized why: cats who are socialized to humans give you 100% of their heart so quickly, that it would be devastating for them to have to leave. Since being taken from the only home he had ever known would already be pretty traumatic for my kitty, the lady at the rescue wanted to ensure that he would only go through that experience once!
While I understood about responsibility and commitment before getting that cat, I didn't think about the emotional investment (theirs and mine) until I was forced to by someone who had put all the work in raising him.
We now have two cats. We've gone through two cats being ill at the same time, my younger kitty (my grey diva) having pica and needing to have her "brother"'s collar removed from her intestine (and going through a phase of baby proofing x10, except that the bad stuff could be anything and everything not meant to be consumed as food), and indeed we did move across the country. Twice.
People tell us, "how nice, you moved your cats with you!" as if I wouldn't owe that to them: I'm the only family they have. There is no day that I don't remember how I was made to realize that, and be thankful for it.
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