Covered In Cat Poop

So, my foster kitten Ollie has a condition I call "Leaky Butt." His vet visits showed that his testicles haven't yet dropped (for a moment I wondered if he was a hermaphrodite and made a mental note to look up local sociology professors, preferably ones with an academic interest in gender, but I digress). Because his little boy bits are still in his body, they're messing up the landscape for the organs that are supposed to be there. The result: anal gland issues and an irritated bum that doesn't always clue him in when he has to poop. The leaks aren't every day, and I help keep him clean and treat him with Animax, but there is the occasional surprise poo appearance.

Last night was one such occasion. Ollie got on my bed and smelled like he'd just used the litterbox. I was only half conscious and didn't think any more of it. And then my alarm went off. I opened by eyes and saw an Ollie-sized skid mark on the pillow next to mine. Ew. I sat up to find another skid mark on the blanket. Gag. I went into the bathroom to find a skid mark on my shoulder and a Rudolph-esque poo dot on my nose. Getitoffgetitoffgetitoff!!!!! Apparently Ollie had to try out a couple of areas on my slumbering body before he decided to settle down.

After taking the kind of shower the government gives to people who are exposed to nuclear matter and doing a big ol' load of laundry, I can't help but laugh. The poor kid can't help it, and once he's neutered in 2 weeks, he shouldn't ever have the issue again.

I just can't get mad about it. Could you?