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Foster Cat Journal: Two Weeks of Hell. No End in Sight.

I can't believe it's been almost two weeks since the cats arrived. All the joy and good wishes for their future are on hold with no end in sight. These cats are so sick, it's terrifying me. None of us have ever seen such sick animals for such a long duration. The number of medications each cat gets grows daily. Also, one cat will improve, another gets worse, but they get better or worse in different ways. One is snotty, one's eyes are suddenly inflamed, then vice versa. I can't even predict who is going to get what, next. The Vet says it can be WEEKS for things to resolve. WEEKS! Only Comet and Rudy might be coming out of it, though Rudy is shockingly still snotty after two full weeks of meds. The one bright spot is that Comet gained a POUND in 12 days!!!! She looks more like a cat, instead of skin and bones.

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Rudy, looking much improved, but sounds like heck, still.

I've been too busy to take any decent photos, but here's one I shot this morning. Dancer didn't look bad yesterday, then this morning, this is how she looked. I made yet another run to the Vet, every day this week now...to pick up more meds. I'm so fed up and angry and frustrated. I need them to get BETTER ALREADY!!

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Dancer. Just gave her new eye drops. Hope they help her. She is playful and eating well.

And poor Blitzen, who once was the most beautiful kitten I'd ever seen-now he's a shell of his former self. His once sparkling blue eyes are pale and runny, staining his cheeks. He was literally foaming and bubbling at the mouth. He needs more than I can provide for him, so he's been admitted to the Vet's isolation boarding facility. I can't tell you how deeply this KILLS ME to see these little guys suffering so badly. I know I have to see this through, but I'm not sure I can do it.

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My little guy, Blitzen, a shadow of his former self.

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This is how Blitzen looked about 10 days ago. Can you believe this is the SAME kitten? Now you know why I'm heartbroken.

Last night I packed Comet and Rudy up, along with their meds and a chart I designed so Jennifer could figure out how to dispense everything and when. It took two hours to pull everything together. I had just enough time after getting home from the Vet, to get it done. I am not getting anything done for myself, my work, my home, just cats and Vets. I am VERY GRATEFUL that Jennifer took these guys. They will get a MUCH nicer place to live and the attention and care I could not provide. They were getting the basics and that's about it. With them gone, I will have a bit more time for myself, once I scrub down their room and wash all the linens they used.

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This is JUST for TWO CATS. I am dealing with FIVE CATS worth of MEDS. You can see the charts I made for Jennifer on the far right. The white boxes indicate how often the meds are given out.

And through all of this, now Sam and I are not talking. He stays in his office downstairs and I stay in mine. When I enter the kitchen, he leaves it. When I sit down on the sofa next to him, he gets up. A late Christmas gift arrived for him yesterday. I gave it to him as a bit of a peace offering. It's still sitting there unopened. I think I will just send it back. I don't nee this slap in the face on top of everything else.

I really need to get out of here, not go to a Vet, not do an errand, just do something I want to do or see people I want to see, but I can't think of anyone or any where that would help me find my smile.

I honestly am so fed up, I fear anyone who dares to give me any grief right now. I seriously am about to fly into a rage that may be seen from outer space. Heck, that might cheer me up? Maybe I should try it?

Comments

Robin-
I am worried about you. This is too too too much.
Why is Sam so upset? Is he stressed out by watching you run yourself into the ground?
Is there no other volunteer near you than can just come help you with the kitties for
a few hours a day. I know it doesn't help but if I was in Boston I would come down there
in a flash and give you some back up, do your laundry, go buy you chocolate, make you
a martini, send you to a SPA or anything! What can we do to help? Those of us that are far
away? Is there anything we can do???????
Please hang in there sister! This to shall pass. I promise.
These URI's were all over the rescue I was working at. It is a nightmare, but there has to
be some support for you there. You have taken on too many kitties and I know they are
so grateful to you but you have to not KILL yourself.

I am sending you tons of hugs!
Let me know if there is anything I can do from here.

michellebanders@gmail.com

HUGS.
M.

and i don't mean to pry, but why are sam and you not getting along? why can't he at least see that you NEED HELP with these poor kittens? you two can work things out later, but right now, these kittens need attention. and if the problem is the kittens, ignoring them and watching you wear yourself down isn't going to help things. the more care they get, the faster they'll be better. but like i said, i don't know the situation...

I am so frustrated that I can't help you out right now - I really wish we were closer in location . I feel bad for you, I feel bad for the kittens, I just feel bad about that whole situation - it is not fair to you that you started out trying to do something really good for these kittens (and really, you are doing something good - keep remembering that at least) and ended up getting screwed by it. You deserve to be frustrated and angry right now. I wish I could give you a suggestion - anything to help. Right now my only suggestion is to take a minute, go outside, scream at the top of your lungs, break a glass you wouldn't mind loosing and then take a deep breath. You need to let some of the tension out somehow.

you guys ned a date night in a bad, bad way.

He is feeling second fiddle to the cats. Even if he gets it. Heck, YOU are being second fiddle to the kitties.

It's not fair to him, them, you.

Sending you love, strength, and a night off, with lots of yummy food and drinks.

Gosh - what a nightmare - only 2 arrive sick and then they all end up with it. I keep wondering how poor Cupid is doing. If you think I can help I will gladly even take one (my husband works from home so someone is always here) - but I understand with all the vet runs if it is not possible - I think at this point you almost have to isolate all of them separately - OMG what a nightmare. Even if the weather was better it would somehow be easier. Hang in there - I am going to NYC on Sat - not a very religous person but I will light a candle for you at St. Pats! - Diana

Robin, is there anything at all that those of us who are too far away in person can do to help??

You are so overloaded. Try and get through. Try to make sure to carve out time for a vacation, you so need it, and deserve it. There's no way to sort out things with Sam until you can get some of the anxiety and action down. I know the hurty part there so you have my sympathy. I hope the kitties ALL do better.

I see a big accomplishment here.. kitten gained weight!?! Wow. You are getting something very right for that to happen.

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