Kitten

I was going to post a big article today about some recent events but I've had to hold off on publishing it for another day. In the meantime, please enjoy this uber-cute photo my nephew, Ryan, shot of the girls: Prancer & Dancer!

©2010 Ryan C. Feminella

The first hint of Spring arrived today with sunny skies and the first temperatures over 50°F. A perfect day for our Adoption Event!

Comet and Rudy, two of Santa's Team, were able to be at the event. Sadly my guys had to stay home due to Blitzen still having ringworm. In a way, I was glad. I don't want them to go, but they're all so big and feisty. I know they need more space to play in and I know they're ready to go, too.

I already had pre-approved a nice couple from right here in Newtown to adopt Rudy & Comet, but I wasn't sure that they were going to stop by today. I didn't have to wait long to find out. Shortly after we got set up, they introduced themselves and asked to meet the kitties.

Jennifer was delayed. Traffic was halted on the Interstate, so they waited around and we chatted. They seem like great folks, have one other cat and are hoping to add two more to their family.

When Jennifer arrived, I felt a mix of dread and joy. I knew this was going to be hard on her and her husband, but I knew it was time for Rudy and Comet to start the next part of their journey-and hopefully their last.

The couple was smitten. Jennifer got to quiz them and make sure that they were the right family for her fosters. Everyone agreed it was a good match so we filled out the Contract and handed over their medical records and the last bit of Rudy's medicine. Jennifer got teared up, but did a great job not balling her head off! I can't say I would have done as well. I had to fight back tears, too. These two cats almost died—first they were saved from a Kill Shelter, then arrived in such poor condition that I almost lost them, then. Comet has gained about 4 lbs. Rudy, the same. They both survived their battles and are loving, wonderful creatures. I couldn't help but think about that as I loaded them into their cat carrier and said by goodbye to them.

Tomorrow, Donner and Prancer will probably be adopted and Monday, may see Dancer and yes, CUPID being adopted, as well. That will leave me with Blitzen, who has to stay with us until his 30 day ringworm treatment is over...or...maybe he'll stay a bit longer? We'll see.

For now, let's raise our glasses high and drink deeply in the satisfaction that another two lives are truly saved. We won another battle! Hurrah!

Rumor has it that Rudy and Comet may be renamed; Leroy and Ziva from NCIS! Seen here with their new family! Yay!

People often ask me; ”How can you let foster cats go? Don't you miss them? Doesn't it make you sad? Cry?”

I energetically answer that if I don't adopt them out, I can't rescue more. I already have seven cats, which is more than plenty. It's not wise to add on to the “family” for a variety of reasons. Sure, it hurts when the cats leave, but usually they're only here from just a few days to a few weeks. If that's the case, hey, anyone can do this. Just keep them moving in, then leaving promptly. It's doable.

What happens when it's NOT the case? What happens not only when you've had foster cats for a few MONTHS, but what if they were all sick? They all needed you? Some were so sick you didn't know if they would survive? How can you not become deeply attached?

How do you let THOSE foster cats go?

Jennifer has been caring for Rudy & Comet for months. They are no longer in their foster room, but have the full run of the house. They frolic and play and love life. Jennifer's been crying, thinking about them leaving. I've been reminding her that we'll find them a great home and we'll keep them together if we can. That she can't adopt more cats. Jennifer not only has plenty of cats, too, but she has seniors and special needs kitties. Adding two spunky kittens to that mix would not be good in the long term.

I'm not telling her anything she hasn't told herself. She's steeling herself for the day, which may come VERY soon, for when she has to say goodbye to them and I feel really bad about that. I never wanted her to have a bad experience fostering, but I can't protect her from this.

I, too, am faced with the same thing.

Today was the big day. After MONTHS of struggle, I was able to put all but Blitzen on Petfinder. The cats are ready to go, at last!

The problem is...in looking over my photos and selecting the ones that are the cutest and will garner lots of interested adopters, I found myself awash in tears. I could barely type out a description or upload a photo. I'm still crying now.

I just kept looking at their faces. I missed them and they are still here. I never want any of them to leave. They've all captured my heart and I honestly don't know if I can be here when they get adopted.

And if this wasn't painful enough, Sam and I are done after 17 years. I am flat out heartbroken. The person I used to be able to go to when I was sad and needed a hug is lost to me, probably forever.

I have lost so much in my life. I don't know how to go on.

I suppose this is what they call burnout or just a big, bad bump in the road? Whatever it's called, I don't recommend it.

At almost four months of age, Blitzen is looking like a proper kitty now.

After a long, miserable night, spent mostly with food poisoning and an empty bed, I managed to get up another day and begin the usual rounds of caring for the cats. Tomorrow Blitzen is slated to be neutered. I called the Vet to double check that it was still all right to bring him, bearing in mind he has something on his head that is...I'm not supposed to make a diagnosis to this Vet, but...it's RINGWORM, OK?

It's hard to hold a wiggly kitten still long enough to look and my close-up vision ain't what it used to be. It wasn't until I looked at the photos that I could see just how bad things were looking.

You tell me that's not ringworm!

There's the telltale crust. It's gotta be ringworm. I've been treating it topically, but I wonder if I should do more? I guess I can wait until the Vet sees him tomorrow. Of the 4 kittens, he was the sickest, the longest, so it's not a complete surprise, BUT..now what? What about his siblings? He's going to have to be with me another few weeks. There is no where to quarantine him too. Everyone has been exposed. I'm in full “fuck-it” mode about this ringworm nightmare.

Sick or not, I've really fallen for this little guy. I'm not sure I can part with him. Maybe I'm willing him to stay here and he's responding by getting sick again? Sure. I have super powers. Why can't I have the super power that wins me a huge lottery payout?

I'd settle for super powers that make Blitzen be the last cat (or PERSON) I EVER see with RINGWORM!

I do the best I can. Maybe it's not enough. Certainly I'm flawed in how I deal with things. It's part of the human condition-that old clichè that no one is perfect.

March is just about here and I thought that perhaps in a week, all the fosters would be ready to go on Petfinder-the process of finding them homes would finally begin. Now that Blitzen probably has ringworm, all my plans are tossed in the wind. The balance of keeping them here until I'm sure they're healthy vs. the ticking clock, is a losing one. The older they get, the less chance they'll have of finding a home.

Cupid has been going crazy being confined. After three long weeks and her nightly rants-usually around 2 AM and 5 AM, where she'll start to cry and bang on the door to be let out test my patience. One morning, I was so angry I burst in the room and yelled, shoving her with my foot. I didn't hurt her, merely scared her, but it scared me, too. I think we're all tired.

I let her out the next day. Enough is enough. Quarantining her from the kittens didn't help keep them from getting the ringworm. No big surprise. I couldn't see the how it would help to keep her locked up any longer.

The big reunion didn't go as hoped. The kittens, their tails up high, ran to their Mother, eagerly sniffing her. She grabbed one and bit down on it, wrestled it to the ground and started to bunny-kick it. This was not play time. This was serious. Long gone are the days of Motherly love. I stopped her from doing more harm, but she continued to do it to the others.

I don't know enough about the Mother-Offspring relationship after the Mother has long since been spayed. I give her short time periods to run around with the kittens and if she gets out of hand, I put her back in seclusion. Again, the balance tips...trying to find a way for everyone to be comfortable and happy together.

Along this bumpy road, the balance has been tipped in my relationship with Sam, too. Today, out of the blue, he came down hard on me about something that didn't warrant such a harsh reaction. Apparently, I was supposed to know that whatever upset him, was not about the incident, itself, but from 17 years of other things that I can't quite understand.

I'm not asking anyone to take sides. I don't know who is right or wrong or if it matters any more. I just felt beat down and tired and done. I put my engagement ring back in its' box and left it by Sam's side of the bed. Is this it? I don't know.

All I know is that life is a struggle to seek “smooth sailing”-that perfect place where things are all right and everyone is happy. Thing is, maybe it's all just a struggle with no happy ending? Learning how to accept that...maybe that's what matters?

I was just thinking about this blog post. How I was going to write that this is it. In a few days, I can start putting some of the fosters up for adoption. FINALLY! We have an adoption event coming up on March 6th. Perfect!

About 5 minutes after I took this photo of me with Blitzen, I thought I would check on this bloody scratch I found on his head a few days ago. I couldn't really see it, but it felt crusty. My heart sank.

I got Sam to hold Blitz for me so I could look with a magnifying lens. Yeah, looked ringwormy. Then I got out my black light and looked again. I think it was florescing green-the telltale sign but his tear ducts looked a bit green, too.

So tomorrow I'll see if I can get the little bugger over to see Dr. Larry. If it IS ringworm, I can probably kiss any hope of getting this kittens adopted before they are adults, out the window. At almost three months off schedule, this is just killing me to have them here this long.

Oh well. Not like this is all that surprising. What I'm waiting for is for ME to get it. I predict I will get a big BALD ringworm lesion on my head just around my birthday in April and my trip to attend BlogPaws. Just you wait. I said it here, first!

...yeah. I gotta million of 'em! That one was so funny, right? Right, buddy?

How 'bout this one:

What do you get if you cross a cat with a tree? A cat-a-logue.

Get it? Cat-a-Log??!!

Hey. That was funny! Hey! Come back here!

Blitzen and Donner really enjoyed watching the bouncing DVD logo move across the TV screen this weekend. I wonder if it was designed specially to interest cats? The logo appears when my “HELLO KITTY” brand DVD player goes into “sleep” mode and the TV is left on.

Yes, even my DVD player has something to do with cats. I can't help it! And no, I don't have a flat screen tv! This one works fine! So there!

Poor Cupid. Today is day nine of her being quarantined from her kittens. She's doing well, but is very sad about being alone most of the day. I'm the only one she sees and there are just not enough hours in the day to hang out with her, give the kittens some time, give my cats some time, give me some time to work.

We're all making due with less, it seems.

The DTM culture isn't done “culturing” yet, but it HAS turned slightly pink. This may indicate she has a fungal infection, but NOT ringworm. In a few days we'll know for sure. I hope she doesn't have ringworm so I can let her OUT of the bathroom! I hate keeping her confined! She's not eating well and I fear that the nice weight she's put on is going to just slip off her and she'll be back to skin and bones again.

Off to the visit Dr. Larry. This time with Blitzen! He's just not getting over the URI, so time to tweak his meds or just stop giving the poor thing antibiotics. It's so tough on him and he's been on them for over 4 weeks now!

I'm so cute. You must LOVE ME!

I know. It's so close you can almost smell it, right?

This is what I get for letting the kittens run around in my bedroom without giving them access to a litter pan. I also should not have shown Dancer and Donner that it's fun to drink out of the faucet. Now they're obsessed with playing in both of the “jack and jill” sinks. One of the kittens got the great idea to “drop off a few friends at the pool” when I left them unattended for a few minutes! I left them alone too long, so it was my fault.

I got everything cleaned up and bleached and the kittens back to their room. Later last night, I let them back into the bedroom for some play time. They weren't even in the room for 10 minutes before I got a death-whiff of something NASTY. I hoped one of the kittens ripped a “toot,” but as I made my way to the bathroom (MY sink, by the way), it was clear that Dancer was just finishing up taking (really it would be LEAVING) a dump.

Great. Now I need to keep them locked up in their room for a day or two. I don't want this to become a habit. Also, I better get a litter pan in my bedroom when I let them play in there.

I know it could be worse. As Sam said; "At least it wasn't on the bed."

My answer was: “As far as we know.”