Foster Cat Journal

This morning I brought Cara in to see Dr. Larry. Thankfully, they were able to fit her into the schedule for today without an appointment, but it meant I had to leave her there and they'd do x-rays and an exam at some point during the day. I got home and sat in the foster room with Mazie, Chester and Polly. They've been in that room for FOUR MONTHS. Only Mazie can be adopted and no one has been interested in her. Polly STILL has a URI and Chester is dealing with that spot of ringworm on his head. I know that being in a small room, even if it does have one huge window that overlooks the yard and another smaller window that gives them a view of the sky and tree tops, is not enough. Since they can't really catch anything from my cats and vice versa, I let them out into my bedroom once in awhile. There's more room to run around, but they really need a huge space to stretch their legs. I suppose if being bored or not having a lot of space was their biggest problem, I'd be lucky.

Dr Larry called me early this afternoon. Cara's x-rays did not show any obvious foreign object, but he wanted to do a blood panel to make sure she didn't also have an infection. I wanted to push back and say, no, not to spend the money since Cara seems fine, but I agreed. He told me to meet him at 4pm and by then he'd have the results and I could take Cara home.

Things were busy at Maple Ridge today, so I grabbed a People magazine and looked at it while I waited for Dr. Larry in exam room number 2. I noticed photos of celebrities in their bathing suit, walking on the beach at some exclusive resort. I didn't even know who half the people were. Then, it dawned on me. Why does it matter that I need to see these photos at all? If there were photos of my neighbors walking on the beach, I would be just as uninterested. They're on vacation? So what! What are they doing that's unusual, interesting, important? Maybe People should be renamed; “Photos of people on the beach with really nice bodies, wearing huge sunglasses, but otherwise not really doing anything.” I swear they use the same photo each week, they just photoshop the latest celebrity A-lister face over the body they used the week before.

I was just about to read about why Catherine Zeta-Jones is disclosing she has Bipolar Disorder II and why there is a “II” and what that means? Is it a sequel to Bipolar Disorder I? Maybe it's fancy movie star version of Bipolar disorder? Dr. Larry entered the exam room before I could sort it all out. He sighed. Then he said something about me having too much on my plate. I had a feeling he was about to add more to it and I was right.

Cara's blood work showed her White Blood Cell Count was VERY HIGH. High-normal is about 20,000. Cara's is 35,000. She's got a raging infection. Her stomach is swollen full of gas. Her intestines are full of stool-almost packed solid. I looked at the x-rays and asked about something I saw in her stomach-some small particulate. Dr. Larry waved it off saying it was the cat food I feed...you know the RAW food with the BONES in it. I balked. Cara does not get raw. She gets canned. So of course it has to be the canned food. It's CANNED FOOD! There aren't BONES in it. Then it hit me. It was the cat litter. It confirmed what I had been suspicious of all along—that Cara has been eating the corn based cat litter. Perhaps the high WBC count is due to her eating out of the litter pan?

It's tough to say what's going on exactly. Dr Larry wanted to have an ultrasound done. The Vet who performs them had a cancellation. It's for tomorrow at 8:30AM. Larry felt we might be able to see if there's still a piece of yarn toy acting as a filter between her stomach and her intestines or if there's any damage to her stomach from eating the toy or ingesting the litter. It would give us some info, but potentially not enough.

Cara may need exploratory surgery or another endoscopy. Dr. Kittral, who's been performing all Cara's endoscopies needs to be included in our decisions. Sadly, she doesn't start her work week until TOMORROW. Dr. Larry wanted to put Cara on antibiotics, which, of course, raised a huge alarm bell in me. We can't give her oral meds or we risk causing her strictures to return. We compromised and Larry gave her an injection that will only last until tomorrow. By then, hopefully we will have more answers and be able to figure out a game plan for Cara.

I tried to be brave, but I felt a bit weak in the knees. Cara could be in a very dangerous situation. With her esophagus compromised already and her stomach lining possibly being damaged, we can't try to clear the stool out of her without risking her rupturing somewhere. Anything invasive that needs to be done, has to be carefully considered. Any medications given must be carefully scrutinized. She's been on too many antibiotics. She's been through so much already. I just don't know how we're going to get her over this next hurdle.

This Vet bill, even with a discount, is going to be bad. It could be the beginning of VERY BAD, I don't know how bad just yet. I'm going to open up yet another fundraiser for Cara. Her last two Vet bills came to $1500.00 and with the loan I got, we were able to pay everything off in full, but now we're back to loose change in our pockets to pay for the next Vet bills. I'm guessing that between today and tomorrow it will be $600.00 and counting. I can't give up on Cara even if the timing is the worst, ever. I thought we were over the hump, but now we've been pushed back down the hill like a feline version of Sisyphus.

I also have a lot of guilt about this situation. The past two weeks I just haven't been home much with frequent trips to NYC to care for Sam's mother. I couldn't feed the cats as regularly as usual and I fear that Cara resorted to eating the litter out of desperation and perhaps now has developed a taste for it. I really LIKE the litter and the other cats are fine with it, but I have to stop using it around Cara.

As for Cara; we've just GOT to get her well; for once and for all.

I realize we've had to ask for help more often than I ever imagined to get Cara well. I'm blessed with having devoted and compassionate friends of this Blog. My hope is that not one person has to donate more than $5. If we can all ChipIn, we'll hit our goal in a heartbeat. If you can share this request with your friends, I would appreciate it very much. Your donation IS tax deductible, as the funds go to a Kitten Associates, Inc. foster kitten (Cara).

I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't seen it with my own eyes. I just saw Cara PROJECTILE vomit. I've never seen so much fluid come out of such a small animal, so quickly, in my LIFE. The vomit was mostly water. She'd eaten a good 5 hours before she vomited, so this indicates she was able to digest her food, but why so much water? Clearly something was wrong with her when I sat down to have some play time with the foster kitties around midnight.

Cara licked her mouth—a lot. This is a strong indicator of nausea. I knew she hadn't eaten recently, so I couldn't figure out what was going on. I got her a bowl of fresh water, not really knowing what else to do. I have had some fears she's been eating her corn based cat litter and perhaps that was the culprit? I spread some chunky Yesterday's News over the corn litter to put a “protective coating” over the corn until I could change out the entire pan.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Poor Cara. She's been through so much already.

Meanwhile, Cara was troubled and uncomfortable. I lifted her up to listen to her belly. Was it rumbling? Was her breathing ok? Her heart was racing. I put her down, then moved her inside her cat carrier because if she was going to get sick, she could do it there instead of on the bed (which is why I've had to do a lot of laundry lately.). The past two weeks I've been finding these enormous watery vomits in the foster room. Due to the volume of fluid, I thought it was Mazie or possibly Polly or Chester. They're still twice Cara's size. Certainly it was not her.

Between everything else going on in my life, I just wasn't able to give Cara the close attention I normally can provide. I've had to spend much less time with the fosters.

The biggest reason it's been difficult to be more attentive to the foster cats is Sam's mother. She's having surgery today. I was told to stay home and keep things going here. It's partially due to the reality of having relationship problems with Sam, and possibly moreso that the folks at the hospital don't even know what time or what HOSPITAL she's having the surgery done. After being in the Psych Ward for TWO WEEKS, with little information provided, we only know she's had her meds adjusted for the pain in her hip and now her Orthopedist says, at 82, she's still a good candidate for a hip replacement. So...after her attempting to take her life over the pain she was in and the fear of having to have surgery to repair her hip, now she is fine with the notion of having her hip replaced, which I believe is far simpler and less painful than the corrective surgery she had five years ago. It's rather ironic she's at this place after where she started off, but she's alive and hopefully her surgery will go well and she'll be on to a new, happier chapter of her senior years.

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I'm writing this at 12:30 AM, so as soon as Dr Larry's office opens at 8 AM, I'm going to call to see if they can fit Cara in for an x-ray and an exam. Last week in one of the vomits, I found a length of a knitted curlycue cat toy that was attached to a plastic wand. I caught Polly gnawing on it and figured she had also been the culprit who threw up a piece of it. I made it tough for the cats to get at the toy. I was stupid. I should have thrown it out. I saw Polly chew it again a few days later, so that's when I finally did throw it away.

The problem is-it may not have been Polly eating the toy. In Cara's vomit, there was a 2 INCH long piece of that darn toy! Cara HAD eaten it. Was there MORE in her stomach? If I had saved the remaining cat toy, I would have been able to make a guesstimate, but with that gone, my only choice is to get her x-rayed to see if there's more inside her.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. 2 inches long. I measured it!

Cara's energy has been off and on, but mostly normal. She eats well. Her eyes are bright, yet...after days of wondering who was vomiting, I had to do something to figure out which cat was sick. I crated Cara for two days until she vomited in her crate, proving to me it was her all along. I made an appointment for her to see Dr. Kittral, her Internist, right away. The soonest we can get in is on Wednesday. I know I can't wait that long, so we'll start with x-rays in a few more hours and I've left a message for Dr K for when she starts her week on Tuesday, so she knows what's going on.

I'm terribly worried that after ALL the effort, the two endoscopies, the medications every 6 hours...has it all been UNDONE because Cara ate a cat toy? Are we back to square one? I'm terrified of what this is going to cost, but I'm going to take it one day at a time. We'll do the x-ray and hope for the best. Maybe Cara just popped out the only foreign object inside her? Maybe pigs will fly out of my butt, too?

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Polly (left), Cara (center) and Mama-Mazie (right) settle down on the electric blanket for a nap.

I have to admit, this cat is driving me nuts. She's so sweet and so dear, but I just can't keep up with all her problems! I keep thinking we're over the hump and she's on the road to being 100% healthy, but she just isn't getting there any time soon! Maybe her Internist will adopt her and make my life a lot easier and her's a lot better? Yeah, right...like that's gonna happen.

I'll update this post as soon as I can get Cara to Dr. Larry...

WARNING: THIS POST DISCUSSES A POTENTIALLY UPSETTING TOPIC. PLEASE READ WITH CAUTION. YOU'RE “SAFE” UNTIL THE SECTION AFTER THE UPDATES ON THE FOSTER CATS, NEAR THE END OF THE POST.

I'm very sorry to not have been tending to my Blog over the last week and a half. Every day that passes that I don't write, bothers me a bit more.

Initially, my plans were to talk about the lovely birthday party-a SURPRISE party, that Sam held for me, now over a week ago. He really pulled the wool over my eyes. I had no idea until the very last second-when I hoped, against hope, that maybe even though he had a bad cold, even though he said there could be no birthday this year, even though most of my friends said they were busy that weekend, it would happen.

It was Connie's doing, too. She called me around noon on my birthday, to say her cat, Big O was very sick and could I come over and help her give him a bath? Oh yes and “Happy Birthday.” Big O was covered with poo! She sounded so sad, I realized it didn't matter if it was my birthday, so I got changed, grabbed some things to help with the bath and told Sam I was off. He knew I was hungry so he said he'd come with me and we could go eat afterwards.

Connie lives a mile away. As I started to pull up her driveway, I realized that Sam had asked me to “kill” a half hour before we went to lunch, then Connie called me, it was too much of a coincidence. Maybe something was going on at her house? Surely not. No. I was going to break up with Sam. I was really mad at him. He'd hardly talked to me for weeks. He didn't even notice when I got my hair done (like a porn star-that's what my stylist called it)-and it wasn't just because he didn't give me a birthday party. The near-silent treatment was killing me!

Then I noticed two cars in the driveway, but certainly it couldn't be cars I knew. It must be a...then I saw it...a “Happy 50th Birthday” banner over Connie's front door. There stood Marcia, Super-Deb and Connie, all waving and shouting Happy Birthday and here I am in a t-shirt with a glow-in-the-dark Cheshire Cat on it and crappy pants. Thank God I had a change of clothes with me! I looked over at Sam and was torn between slapping him and kissing him. I never had anyone throw me a surprise party in my life. It was really nice.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson.

No sooner than we walked in the door, I realized there was no sick cat, so I got changed, then we all left for lunch. As I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant, I saw my dear nephew, Ryan and my sister, Anne! Another suprise, yay! This was going to be a nice day after all.

But then I walked into the dining room at the restaurant. There sat Mary. My other sister. I didn't see anyone else for a moment. My mouth fell open. Mary had LIED to me, first saying she was coming to take me to lunch and there was no way I'd be alone on my birthday, then she begged off saying her cat was sick not 6 hours later. She had been in Baltimore for a book show (Mary is a Writer and Graphic Designer)! Then I realized she must have driven up from there. What a shock!..and there sat her partner, Shelly...and my friends Irene and Jennifer I.! I love those babes! I was literally speechless and it took all my reserve not to burst into happy tears.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Nephew Ryan shoots the flames while his mom, Anne watches.

We ate at a Hibachi style restaurant and had TWO chefs taking turns either trying to set fire to the place or tossing food bits at our faces (since most of us couldn't hope to catch the food in our mouth). Everyone was happy and getting along well. I never wanted it to end. I had a nice lunch and lots of lovely gifts. I missed my Mother and Father so much, but they were there, too, in spirit (and later that day, I discovered my Mother had sent me a message, too. More on that, in another post).

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. The cake on the left is what I ordered for myself, thinking there would be no celebration of any sort. I cut out the frown and turned it upside down later that day.

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I have a lot to tell you about the cats-especially Bob. The short version is, to me, he seems to have turned a corner and is doing better. He seems to have gained weight. Tomorrow he gets Chemo #9. I'll find out if he gained any weight then. A surprise blessing is that some of his fur is growing back ever so slowly. It's just peach fuzz on his head, but I can see the subtle stripe of his tabby pattern in the fur.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Bob and the gang on the electric blanket

I took him to a Dermatologist and she confirmed he as a terrible case of ringworm and that only he can really fend it off and with cancer and a bad immune system, the odds aren't great. We give him baths and add a special lotion afterwards. He's lost half of his coat, but I think, just maybe it's slowed down. He seems comfortable and he seems a lot more like his old self.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson.

The kittens are still struggling with URI's and this and that. Cara has grown some, but one of the kittens has been vomiting. I don't know if it's Cara. We're closer to the day we can call her healed, but we're not there yet. The kittens are as big as their Mom, now. I think Chester will be even bigger. He is the most darling cat in the world. He really is sweet.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Cara and Chester, bigger and better every day.

MacGruber is still here, too. Got a tiny dot of ringworm on his paw, so he seems to stay here another month and another month...he's a bit like gum stuck on the shoe...but very cute gum.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Okay. I'm suppose to adopt this cat out! Really?

I'm bringing Noelle to Connecticut next week, along with Amelia, another Henry Co. Cat we rescued last year. It's time for them to get their forever homes. I need to write more about that soon.

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The main reason I need to write is I need to tell you what happened and why I haven't been able to write more than this post-we had a family tragedy and I'm struggling to cope with it.

A few days ago, Sam and I were to visit his Mother in Manhattan. We were going to have a belated birthday party for me and Sam's adult daughter, Kate, whose birthday is two days before mine. The day before we left, Sam told me his mother was having trouble walking. The pain from her hip, which she broke six years ago and has long since healed, was back. We worried that if she couldn't stand for a long period of time, that we needed to come up with ways for her to fix meals that didn't require much effort. The plan was to finally buy her a microwave whether she liked it or not. Get her some wholesome meals she could just pop into the microwave and eat without standing over a stove or getting up and down to check on a pot on a burner. We put a lot of time into planning how we'd manage to get all this stuff into her apartment, since we'd have to double park to get the car unloaded. Parking is a bear on the upper West side on a weekend.

We thought we had it all worked out. We got a bit of a late start, but we got everything done. Sam called his Mom to tell her we wold be there soon. She didn't sound right. She said she might need to go to the ER. Sam pressed her as to why. All she said was, “You'll find out when you get here.”

This was not something his Mother would say. She has always been the most polite and kind person I have ever known. She was raised in the south and that sweetness never faded away even though she's lived in Manhattan most of her life. What was going on?

Sam drove as fast as he could to NYC. We had an hour to go. I texted his daughter. She called her Grandmother and found out that she was asked to get there soon. Clearly something was terribly wrong. Had Sam's 82 year old mother re-broken her hip? Why didn't she call 9-1-1? Why was she waiting?

When we got to the apartment building, I got a txt. Kate was there. I said we would be right up. I stayed with the car, as Sam ran up to her apartment. A neighbor came out and signaled to me to follow him up the block to take his parking spot. As I was about to try to park the car, I saw Sam in my rearview mirror. I got out of the car. Something was wrong-really wrong.

“It's bad up there. It's a mess...you need to be calm about this, but get up there now. I'll park the car.”

“What happened?”

“She slit her wrists. Prepare yourself. She's alive, but it's a mess. Just get up there.

No one had called 9-1-1. I think everyone was in shock. As much as I wanted to help, I had a bad flashback and my heart started racing. Years ago, my Father took his own life. I didn't want to go through this again, but I went upstairs and walked into the apartment filled with dread and absolute fear.

Poor Kate was kneeling on the floor, next to the sofa. She wasn't saying a word. I could see Sam's Mother's white hair on the arm of the sofa. She must be laying down. I walked over to her and tried to be calm. It was very gorey, but she was conscious. I asked her what she did and she told me that the pain was so bad in her hip that she just couldn't take it any more. That she felt so bad she couldn't do anything any more and didn't want to get in the way. I asked to see her wrists. I saw that the blood was congealing. This was good, but she injured both wrists and up her arms. I talked to her for a few minutes. Everyone was calm, almost matter-of-fact. As if nothing terrible had happened at all. It was surreal.

I told her that we all loved her and it would be so terrible if she left us without letting us even say goodbye...that we didn't know she was hurting so much and that we wished she could have told us so we could help her.

Then I did something weird. I'd bought her a hyacinth. It was in bloom and so fragrant. I held it up to her nose and asked her to smell it. She smiled as she smelled the sweet flowers, even though her skin was as pale as a sheet and her robe was crimson. I reminded her that it was finally spring. That even on our worst day, another day will follow and maybe that day we will smell the sweetness of a flower or see the sunny sky and it will remind us to try to get to the next moment, and the next after that. To not give up.

I calmly told her she needed some help and that I was going to get that for her. She said it was ok, if I really thought she needed help I could do that (as if anyone could to STOP me from calling for help!!!) I left the room and called 9-1-1. In less than 5 minutes, 5 NYPD officers were at the door. A few minutes later, the EMS arrived. I had to stay away from them so I could completely fall apart and cry. I felt so bad for Sam and Kate and his Mom. I worried about Kate, who found her Grandmother just moments before we arrived. I was in a bad place, myself. I couldn't believe it. It was not about me, it was about his Mother and getting her help. I pulled myself together and did whatever I could to help until she was ready to be taken to the hospital.

It was about 10 hours before we could get his Mother admitted. We waited in one room after another. She barely was tended to at all. We had to fight and make a fuss for every little thing. No one was “supposed” to make a decision or do what was needed. I never so much “passing the buck” in my life.

She's stable now. She had to be admitted into the Psych ward, though she is the last person on this Earth I would ever think belongs there. I don't know for sure, but I think she just wanted the pain to stop so badly that maybe this was the only way anyone would really hear her? If that's the case there's a big disconnect that needs to be fixed. Between her Doctor putting her off for almost a week, to even our relationship with her. We all need to learn to stop being polite and start getting “real” with each other.

Since Sunday, my life, Sam's life and Kate's have been turned upside down. There is so much to do, so much to try to figure out. Will Sam's mom ever be able to live alone again? How can we get her help? Who can pay for these things? And who is going to clean up the apartment?

The last question, I answered. I cleaned it up. I didn't want Sam or Kate to have to do that. Even though I've known her for almost 20 years, I was still the person most removed from this situation, so I got to work. I just did what I needed to do. I started to clean away more than just the accident scene. I started to clean everything. I wanted to put life back into that apartment. I wanted the space to feel happy again. In a way, it was like cleaning my Mother's house after she died. It was so nice, freshly painted, re-carpeted, sparkling, even. It made me sad she never go to see it. I hope that Sam's Mother gets to see this. Her home, which was dark and sad, will be clean, fresh and even have lots of color and comfortable places to sit. Perhaps the gloom, washed away, will give his Mother something she's needed in addition to being free of pain, maybe it will give her some joy, some delight in her day to day life?

Perhaps this is the start of her new life? Perhaps it's a new start for all of us?

I don't have the answers. I can tell you I had a breakdown the night after I cleaned things up. I couldn't stop crying. Other than my little birthday lunch, it's been one bad thing after another for more than a year. Every time I feel down, I look to the positive. I get myself back up. You guys lift me back up, heck you catapult me back up! But with all of those blessings, that love and generous support, sadly there is a darkness that remains in my heart. The same thing that drove Sam's mother to do what she did, the same thing that drove my Father to do what he did...it's there, waiting. I am terrified one day I will lose this battle to stay in the sunshine, but I am equally determined to not give up and to help Sam's mother do the same.

One of my friends said something to me once in jest; “Life. It's not for everyone.” He couldn't have been more right.

It's been a very long road for Polly and her family. They've been here for three and a half months-the longest I've ever had fosters. They should have found their permanent homes a long time ago, but chronic upper respiratory for some or life and death strictures for another, made it impossible to put them up for adoption. The exception is Chester and his mama, Mazie.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Mr. Handsome! (Chester Cheesetoes)

Chester never got as sick as Polly and didn't have two strictures that Cara is recovering from. He's just a big, love-bug whose already had lots of interest from potential adopters. I've held off moving him because he has a slightly runny eye. I think that a visit to the kitty eye doctor for both him and Polly are going to be needed. I won't adopt out a sick cat unless that cat is deemed “special needs.” I worry that once adopted, the cats might not get the care they'll require-the extra observation and attention to make sure they don't break with the URI again. I have to be very careful about screening adopters. In fact, I had one application come in and in doing the background check I discovered they had not one cat, as listed on their form, but over 18 animals, ranging from ferrets to dogs and a few cats! The Vet they listed said they had not SEEN any of these animals for TEN YEARS!

©2010 Maria S. Polly a few days after being rescued, before she got sick.

For the most part, Polly and Chester are in good shape. Polly is FINALLY getting spayed TODAY. I hope she'll do all right. She's a tiny bit sniffly, but I really can't wait any longer. She's about to go into heat, if she hasn't done so already. I can't believe how big she is. I'm facing the very real problem of not being able to find her a home she's getting so large. I worry about Cara and especially Mazie, who no one has had an interest in adopting. I had planned for her to go to my friends at Animals in Distress where she'd be seen every week at their open house. It would mean separating her from her babies and putting her in a room with many other cats. She broke with a tiny DOT of ringworm so I held her back for four extra weeks, but that is long gone now. I just couldn't bring myself to let her go. I'm hanging onto the hope that she can be adopted with one of her babies. It's a long shot, but I want to try...yet...now her babies are not babies.

Who will want these cats when “kitten season” is here?

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Polly before heading off to be spayed.

AND I still have Noelle, remember her? The kitty caught in the car engine? She's in Georgia with another Henry Co. cat we rescued last year. We need to get them up here and adopted quick! They're just waiting around. I had to put off moving them because I have no space for her. Plus, I can't help any more cats. I HATE not being able to rescue! It really bothers me a lot. In fact I feel a lot of shame about it. I really do. Without foster families, my hands are tied. I can't bring any cats into my house. I'm full up. We need some local folks to help out and join our forces so we can start rescuing all those spring babies that are starting to be born!

©2010 Maria S. Noelle after the surgery to dock her tail.

Then there's MacGruber. Yeah, he's STILL here, too! I had to hold him back because the little bugger had a TINY dot of ringworm on his foot. Ugh. He's loving his life. He and Blitzen are constantly together, either playing or getting into trouble. They chase after Petunia and that's caused a lot of problems. Can you spell, inappropriate urination?

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. MacGruber has made himself at home it seems.

We wish Mac could stay with us. He really feels like a part of the family. He's got a huge personality, that's for sure, but we also know he'll get ten times more attention-which he deserves, if he had a family to call his own.

That ALL that any of these kitties dream of...a good home...and SOON!

When you open your heart, your home and your wallet to a friendly stray cat, you never know how it will go. Some times you get lucky. The cat doesn't need much, just their shots updated. A clean snap test. Deworming and maybe a flea treatment or two. But more often than not, the cats who've been subjected to neglect for all or most of their lives, have more complex issues to treat that require more of a financial investment and longer term care before they can be adopted out.

Last week, our friend Warren Royal, of Royal Bobbles, jumped at the chance to help a cat in need. You may have read about the rescue. If not, you can read the post HERE. Buddy was doing well, but Warren knew he had problem teeth. An older cat with FIV+ is going to have gum issues, which usually end up that some of the teeth need to be removed, as well. Warren stood by Buddy. Whatever he needed, Warren was determine to provide.

Prior to his dental, the Vet ran some blood work. This is common to do since it helps the Vet understand that there may be an underlying problem and that anesthesia could be too risky. She noted that Buddy's kidney function was going to make it difficult to do the dental, but that the teeth were so bad, they HAD to risk it. Needless to say, Warren had a very long, worry-filled day. Did he do the right thing? Would Buddy survive? Would he have been better off euthanizing this cat instead of putting him through all these procedures?

©2011 Warren Royal. Buddy before his procedure.

Warren wrote to me with an update:

“Buddy had a tough day today, but he's resting well now. It turns out that
the teeth were worse than expected. His left and right canines were badly
damaged. There were horrible infections in both, a mass in one, and she had
to remove both of them. There was another tooth on the top that was "iffy"
but she felt that it could be saved so she left it there. She had to remove
a bit of the bone on the canines. Buddy will probably be in a fair amount of
pain after this. He's under some strong sedation (like morphine) and we'll
give him more as needed every 10-12 hours or so.

The poor little thing only has one bottom tooth left in the front, he
apparently lost some others earlier in his life. But he's got his molars
and they look pretty good. And they cleaned the rest of his teeth well so
that will help him a lot. They also gave him a microchip so that when he's
ready for a new home he will be all set.

The whole endeavor was complicated by the kidney tests. There is some
elevation of some of his levels, so they gave him plenty of fluids and kept
his blood pressure up during the surgery. They also didn't put him in all
the way under, to keep him safe during the anesthesia. But they thought he
was comfortable. They will do another blood panel in a few weeks and that
will give us a better indication of the long-term prognosis of his kidneys.

They think he's a bit older than before, after looking at the teeth. She
thinks he may be as old as 10-12.

The kind folks at the veterinary office fell in love with him. They said
that despite all the poking and prodding, he remained so sweet throughout.
He just let them do what they had to do and dealt with it the best he could.

They found roundworms, in addition to the tapeworms that we discovered
yesterday. He's been treated for both. He's on antibiotics, and is going
to get a lot of rest over the next couple of days. We've delayed his intake
at the humane society adoption center for a few days to let him recover a
bit.

We've done everything possible for him at this point, all we can do is to
let him rest and hope that he recovers well and feels better soon. And then
we'll take it from there.”

-----------------------

Clearly, doing rescue is stressful. It's not a fun roller coaster to ride. Though difficult, Warren was undeterred. Sure, he had troublesome thoughts, but we all do. Anyone who deals with a sick cat, their own or a rescue, worries; “Am I doing the right thing?” Sadly, you never know until it's all said and done and by then you can't go back and do it over again.

I believe you have to do the best you can with the information you have. If you have good intentions and have a clear mind, you shouldn't have to look back with regret. Buddy's is a painful journey but not without joy. Buddy is very comfortable and is eating and purring, just as he did before. He's a tough cookie and so is Warren. There's something fated about this relationship. For Buddy, perhaps he needed a Guardian Angel to look out for him on his journey to finding a permanent home and for Warren, each day that passes, helps him realize that all the effort, the ups and downs, to save Buddy was worth it and then some.

P.S. Buddy IS available for ADOPTION! Please contact Warren Royal, wroyal@namefutures.com if you're interested to learn more about this sweet cat.

It's been three weeks since Cara had her first endoscopy. She endured a very difficult recovery, while I tried to survive the every-6-hours-for-two-weeks medication schedule. She fussed and squirmed with every syringe filled with Carafate (aptly named, I think), which is used to treat peptic ulcers; said to bind to the ulcer site and coat it. This would help Cara's badly damaged esophagus to heal if I could get the meds into her.

Cara began to eat more comfortably and gained weight. She also began to grow-FINALLY and her odd looking coat began to fill in. Her chocolate brown fur was due to malnutrition. I was sure of this as I saw it change into a darker, more rich, almost black. She looks like a white mitted “classic” tabby, just like her brother, Chester, only he's orange.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Cara at the Vet.

Yesterday I took Cara back to be re-evaluated by Dr. K. The Vet hospital was very busy. I met a woman in the waiting room whose cat had stopped eating for two days, was lethargic and vomiting. I asked her what she was feeding her cat. The answer-really cheap dry kibble. I just about fell over. I tried to figure out a way to talk to her about it but when I broached the subject, she cut me off saying; “that's what she's been eating her whole life.” So I guess it makes it good? I wasn't up for another battle. I felt badly for the cat. When I left later that morning, she hadn't found out why her cat was so sick. More tests to be done.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Toe flavored toes. Yum!

As for Cara, well she's just a ray of sunshine. She purred and climbed on me while we were in the waiting room. She washed her paws and looked around. We waited for a good 30 minutes before Dr. K. came to see us, but I just enjoyed the one-on-one time.

I wish you could have seen what happened next. Dr. K burst into the room. She didn't say hello to me, but walked right over to Cara asking; “How is our girl today?” With that, she scooped Cara up in her arms and DID NOT LET HER GO the entire time we talked. She didn't examine her. She just held her tight and petted her and petted her. Clearly, Dr. K has a crush on our little foster feline.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Cara warming up those big green eyes to use on Dr. K.

We spoke about next steps. She said we didn't have to do the endoscopy, but it would be good to have the information. I reminded her that unless she was going to adopt Cara, that I needed to know if Cara was going to be a special needs adoption and that we really needed to get to the bottom of this. She agreed. Before I could even wave goodbye to Cara, I was sent on my way, wondering if this sweet woman was going to let me take Cara home or if she was going to stick her in her pocket?

A few hours later, Dr. K. called. Cara's distal stricture (say that five times, fast) was still a bit red but about 70-80% healed. The proximal stricture looked very good and well healed, but there was difficulty passing the scope through the area so she decided (on her own and with out getting permission to spend our money!) to do another balloon dilation. Before I could say a word she said she didn't charge us for it!!! It only took a second of her time and it was just a quick tweak of that area. She administered the steroid shots in to the stricture to keep it from reforming. She did all this “because of all the good work we do.”

I'm pretty sure she doesn't know much about my rescue group, Kitten Associates, but I have a good idea that she DOES have a liking for little Cara. Way to go, Cara! You put those big green eyes to work!

Dr. K feels that Cara should recover from this health crisis and not be a special needs adoption As she grows, she should do just fine. I need to give Cara two more weeks of medications-thank goodness it's only once every 12 hours this time. After the two weeks has passed, I call Dr. K to update her and hopefully Cara can be spayed and will be ready to be adopted!

Only time, good food and more yucky medications will get Cara ready for what awaits her-a home with a really great family...Or is it possible that Cara may already be spoken for?

Cara had her first endoscopy performed twelve days ago. She was weak, frail and exhausted on that drive home after the procedure. The next day I began giving her medications at least every six hours. It's a complicated combination of medications that have to be given on time. Although I'm turning into a zombie from lack of sleep, Cara's been turning the corner!

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Cara nibbles on her arm. Good eats!

Each day I brought Cara her food. Watered down baby food plus A/D (which I do not want to feed her!). It's a thin porridge-like consistency. I trained Cara to eat inside a cat carrier. This way her siblings or mother can't bother her (much) as she's eating and I can monitor how much she eats. It also keeps HER from getting into the canned food her family gets. I have to make sure Cara's esophagus has time to heal. Should she eat thick canned food, it might open up a sore or cause a stricture to reform.

I have to be scrupulous about not letting her have a nibble of anything, because she knows to explore the area where her family is fed, after I take up their plates and wipe down the rubber placemat. Cara frantically sniffs and licks at the tiniest morsel. At least her drive to eat is strong, but it could get her into trouble.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Cara and Polly watch President Obama's speech after the earthquake. The kittens and I are very sad.

Then, I'll wait. I'll sit with the cats and watch Cara. She had some grumbling tummy, some burps, but nothing too bad. I looked for signs of vomit around the room and found none. I decided after more than a week, to give Cara different canned food, baby food and water. She ate it but it was a bit thick and I thought she might vomit. The next morning I found a HUGE vomit all over the bed, with lots of water in it, too. I couldn't believe that tiny Cara had that much food in her AND she would have done it many hours after eating. I hoped that maybe her mama, Mazie had done it, not her.

Since I was worried that it WAS the food, I went back to the old standby.

After the first week, I spoke with Dr. K and she said to stay the course. Now we're at almost the end of week two and it's time to update Dr. K again to see what should be done next. Cara is growing rapidly and gaining weight. She's running around the room like a maniac, chasing after Polly and Chester. If she can keep down thicker food, then she may be out of the woods and will not need another balloon dilation. It's too early to say, but right now, she's looking great!

And since it's been almost two weeks, I think I can safely (I hope) say that I'm very glad we did NOT place a feeding tube into Cara. Cara seems very comfortable now, so perhaps we're one step closer to Cara being ready to be adopted? It's truly amazing to see her progress.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Who feels better? ME!

Go little sweetie, go!

My friend, Connie says that Cara reminds her of a little bird, with big, curious eyes and slender, delicate limbs. Cara IS a fragile creature. I'm afraid to pick her up. The endoscopy has taken quite a toll on her and I find my reaction to her is to be as gentle as possible.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Poor little baby. The morning after endoscopy.

Cara needs care around the clock. I had to take a step back from EVERYTHING in my life, other than cat care, to make it work. No blogging, no answering emails, other than very important ones, no working on getting MacGruber, Chester and Mazie adopted. I'm on my own most of this week, which makes it more difficult, but Sam needed to be at a Conference in Chicago, so he left not long after Cara returned from the Vet hospital. In a way, it's a good thing he's gone. I can get up at all hours of the night and not bother him and not having to worry about making dinner or shopping is a relief. In a twisted way, I'm getting a vacation.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. The nightmare shedule.

Some vacation! I've been in a daze. I absolutely must stick to the schedule of giving out medications. I want Cara to heal, feel better, be happy again. I do NOT want her to have to be rushed back to the Vet. She's been through so much already. I chose not to have the Vet implant a feeding tube, so I have to make this work. I can't make a mistake-the food can't be too thick. Cara cannot vomit. She just can't. If she does-she goes right back to the Vet for another $1000.00 procedure.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. They say cats are stoic about hiding their pain, but it's clear that some times the pain is too much, even for them to bear.

On Sunday, Cara looked like Hell. I realized she wasn't laying down, but rather, sitting up, trying to sleep while her siblings ran around the room, bouncing off the walls. It was not the best place for her, but I didn't want to move her into a crate somewhere else. Her room is nice and warm and there's a big brown electric blanket for her to warm herself on. Even with all that, I find her sitting on top of the space heater as it rotates back and forth-as if she's on a ride at Disneyland for very sick kittens. She's just cold. It must be due to her low body weight.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Polly is huge in comparison to little Cara.

The past few days have become a bit of a blur. My iPhone alarm goes off to remind me it's time to do something for Cara every few hours. I get up like a zombie and do whatever it is that needs to be done. I can't leave the house for very long, nor can I sleep for very long. I find myself grabbing naps whenever I can. I still have to provide care for Bob and make sure the other cats are fed and...just before Sam left, we found out Nora has an eye infection that must be medicated, too. It's only for two weeks! I know this will pass. I just need to get through it.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Cara is painfully thin.

Cara didn't move around very much. She didn't eat very well, either. I changed her food a little bit and found something she likes even if it's very watered down. She eats all her food, then burps and gurgles. I'm sure she's not used to having a full tummy so after she eats, she just sits quietly. I think it's too much for her to do much else. Meanwhile, I sit with her, take notes to track her progress and wait to see if something is going to happen. I whisper to her; “Please don't throw up...please.” So far, she hasn't vomited since Friday.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. At last, after a few days, Cara can lay down for more than a few moments.

Cara tried to lay down, but her tummy grumbled too much. She sat up with her eyes closed, teetering back and forth. Eventually she got so tired she had to lay down. She could only do it for brief periods of time. When she did lay down I could see how much thinner she had become. I felt a knot in my gut, too. Would Cara begin to bounce back and if so, how long would this take?

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. A big moment-Cara reached out for a toy.

Connie stopped in to visit Cara last night after we took a break and went out for dinner. While she was there, Cara ate up a good deal of dinner, then looked up at us brightly, as if to show off that something was going on-something good. I teased a ribbon toy in front of her. She reached out and touched it. She just sat there, not moving, but that she would try to play at all, was a great sign. Clearly she was exhausted just from eating, so we let her rest.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Look who's feeling better!

This morning, my alarm went off at 6am. I dragged myself out of bed. All I had to do was give Cara one medication, then I could go back to bed for an hour before I had to feed her. Every time I open the door to the foster room, I wonder what she'll be doing. Will she be resting and be comfortable? Will she still be hunched over in pain?

I opened the door and I didn't see Cara. All I saw was a blur as she RAN out of the foster room and RAN down the stairs! Clearly, she's beginning to feel better or she's as sick of getting medications as I am giving them to her.

©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. There's the expression I've been missing for almost a week! Is she back for good? I sure hope so!

Cara ate well today and ate quite a bit. Her eyes sparkle again and she has pep! She's still far too thin, but with time that may improve. It is FAR TOO SOON to say that Cara is out of the woods. Her strictures can come back in a heartbeat and odds are they will any day now, as the usual time between them closing again is 5 to 7 days. Usually these strictures have to be re-opened one or two more times to stay open, so there's still a long way to go.

That said, when I look into Cara's bright green eyes, I see what was missing for so long. I see joy and her mischeivious nature has replaced hunger and pain. It's an amazing sight, truly amazing.

I feel hungover from interrupted sleep, and little of it. I can't imagine how Cara feels in comparison. From the look of her, I'd say she feels a lot worse than I do. The last 24 hours have been difficult.

Yesterday we started fundraising for Cara's Vet Care so we could get funds for her to have an Endoscopy. It's a much needed diagnostic test that we hoped would lead us closer to finding out what's wrong with Cara.

We were very lucky that a compassionate, anonymous person (really a Guardian Angel) came forward and offered to LOAN us enough money to get the test done. It WOULDN'T solve our fundraising problem because we have to pay it back, but at least we could move fast and get the test done. I was able to book her an appointment within an hour of getting help from Cara's Guardian Angel.

It was a good thing we didn't wait another SECOND longer. We have answers. No more tests needed. It's not good news.

Cara's esophagus is in TERRIBLE shape. It's filled with bloody ulcers. The lining of the esophagus is thickened from being so irritated.

Cara has TWO strictures-which is a closing of the esophagus due to, in Cara's case, either a genetic component or the fact that she had Doxycycline at such an early age (which I didn't know was something that can cause a problem and I need to look into this further). One of the strictures was SO SMALL they could not get the scope into her stomach-how was she getting any food at all?

Cara must be in HORRIFIC PAIN. Think of the worst sore throat you ever had, times 10. Every time you eat it hurts. No wonder Cara was vomiting! The food could barely pass into her stomach, yet she was losing vital nutrients and was SO VERY HUNGRY at the same time!

The options:

Balloon dilation. Just what it sounds like. Under anesthesia, they insert a small balloon into the esophagus and inflate it very carefully. It forces the esophagus open. Then they inject a small amount of steroid into the thickened tissue to get the swelling down.

If they do this, the esophagus can tear, the chest fills with air and you have a VERY SERIOUS LIFE THREATENING situation on your hands, but you HAVE to do something because soon, Cara will not be able to pass ANY FOOD into her stomach.

If the dilation works, then they would want to insert a feeding tube into Cara. It would bypass her esophagus and go right into her stomach. I've heard about feeding tubes and how they can cause more problems than they solve. They can become infected, come out-which results in emergency gastric surgery. Considering Cara's in a room with her family and is a playful kitten, I couldn't imagine doing this to her. I also didn't feel I had the “chops” to provide that level of care without making a deadly mistake. I wanted to talk to Dr. Larry and find out if he could board Cara and provide her care for the two weeks we'd need if we put her on a feeding tube. I needed more time to think, but didn't have the luxury of having any.

I tried to stay calm while the Internist, Dr. K. gave me the news, but inside my heart was breaking. Would Cara ever have a normal life? Would she ever have a home of her own?

The Vet told me that Cara could have a good future, but that there was also a very good chance that the strictures would recur-soon. That the procedure would probably need to be re-done up to 3 times, before the stricture would stop closing up. Cara would have to be on a high calorie, liquid diet during this time.

Cara could also end up having to be on a liquid diet for the rest of her life and face having a stricture issue recur even if we fix her up now. That yes, it will cost money to provide the care, but no where NEAR the cost of the surgery to fix a PRAA, which would have been at least another $5000.00 on top of the money we needed for the balloon dilation, so that was good.

The Vet wanted to know if as a rescue group, if she should proceed with the treatment. She'd do the best she could for us regarding costs, but I could read between the lines of what she was really asking.

My reply was simple: We do NOT EUTHANIZE ANIMALS BECAUSE OF MONEY. She sounded relieved. I gave her the okay to do the dilation, but to hold off on the feeding tube. My hope is to see how we do for a few days. IF we can get Cara comfortable and eating well, she may heal on her own if she survives the dilation.

There are so many IFs. It's very tough to know what's best, but I knew that I'd be risking all sorts of extra trouble inserting a feeding tube. One step at a time...

The Vet called me a short while later. The dilation went VERY well. In fact she said that it just “popped” open and did so well enough that they could re-insert the scope and see into Cara's stomach. She said; “it looked beautiful.” That was a BIG RELIEF.

They kept Cara for about five hours after the procedure. Sam and I picked her up late last night, along with a huge BAG of medications and a two page list of directions for her care.

Sam drove and I ended up holding Cara, swathed in a big towel. She stretched out her front legs across my shoulder and put her head down and closed her eyes. Her front legs were both shaved in a band around half way up her leg. It made her paws look like she was wearing white mittens. Cara felt like a dead weight, which was very unnerving. She just laid on me, barely moving, the entire drive home. This wasn't the bouncy full-of-life kitten I'd seen just a few hours earlier. I felt panicked about my ability to provide the right care for this little sweetheart and her ability to survive the treatment.

We finally have answers to what's been ailing Cara. It's not a PRAA-Persistent Right Aortic Arch. We don't have to travel out-of-state to find a surgeon to save her life. We can do everything we need to do right here, but the problem is-will Cara respond well to treatment or have a life filled with suffering?

We still need to continue to raise funds for Cara's care. Yesterday's procedure came in under the estimate, but Cara will likely need a few more balloon dilations. We're going to cross our fingers and leave our goal as is, for now. In a week if Cara is doing well, we'll lower the goal. We never want to ask for more than we need. Every dollar is sacred.

Thank you to the MANY people who responded right away to help Cara. It makes all the difference to be able to provide care for this much-deserving little darling. If you can't donate any funds, PLEASE DO CONSIDER SHARING THIS POST WTIH YOUR FRIENDS!

If Cara could talk, I bet she'd say; “Thank you for thinking my life is precious and worth fighting for.”

I couldn't agree more.

If you spent any time with Cara, you'd think she was just an average 5 month old kitten. She loves to play with her sister, Polly and brother, Chester and her mama, Mazie. Sure, they had a rough go, sick for MONTHS starting just days after the little ones were born. They had a URI that just wouldn't go away. They were loaded up with antibiotics and expensive antivirals. Nothing made them better and KEPT them better. I started to believe they would be here, forever and be sick for the rest of their lives.

Fortunately, Chester is just about all better and Cara has no sign of the URI. Polly lags behind, but we will get her well! Sadly, having a Upper Respiratory Infection was the least of my concerns. As many of you know, Cara, has been vomiting at least once, almost every day for a few MONTHS. Her growth has been stunted and her weight is one half of her siblings. Even with that stress on her tiny body, she still has a great will to survive.

We've done many tests that got us no answers. I had a fight with my Vet about what to feed her. I won out and tried baby food with water. It worked, but it wasn't enough nutrition in the long run, so I added grain-free canned food and some water. Some times it worked, some times the same food made her start to lick her mouth furiously. Then I'd hear this awful gurgling sound as she'd violently twist and turn her head, as if she was trying to shake out whatever was causing her distress.

Then she'd start to buck backwards, her stomach would contract. I'd grab the paper plate she'd just eaten off of and put it in front of her. I'd catch the vomit on the plate-sounds funny, I know, but I HAD to get it AWAY from her or she'd hastily try to EAT whatever came out of her. Clearly she was HUNGRY. So VERY HUNGRY, but unable to keep her food down, she just looked at me so very desperately with those huge green eyes. Some times she'd start to gurgle again and vomit a second time, this time not much food, but a lot of foam. What could I do for her?

This has been an ongoing issue-MONEY. Cara MUST have endoscopy done. We've got to have an Internist sedate Cara, then take a TINY camera and insert it into her mouth, go down her throat, into her belly. Hopefully she will see SOMETHING that will tell us WHY Cara can't keep her food down. They'll take biospies of some of the tissue to see if they can learn anything from that.

The problem is-WHERE does this money come from? I'd happily pay the money and then some, but I've got nothing left. Between Cara's vet care and my own cat, Bob, who has cancer, I have maxed out my resources. I need a miracle. I need an uber sugar-mama or papa who believes that every life is sacred and who is financially able to make a difference for Cara, where I have failed her.

I've had quite a few of you write to me and offer me help with where we should have this procedure done and what clinic might give us a good discount. I'm not going to ask for help without trying to find any way we can to get the cost DOWN. Sadly, there are no coupons for endosocopy that I know of!

We called this brand new facility in Stamford, CT. On their website and in their fancy, die-cut, printed folder, it says they are not out to make a profit, but to provide the best care. They would NOT give us an estimate and would only give a 5%, yes FIVE PERCENT discount on their already sky high fees (they gave us their exam fee which was $25 more than everywhere else).

We haven't given up. We've called, begged favors and have done what we can. We tried locally and out of state. We finally found someone we feel is top notch who can do the procedure and give us 20% off. That means we need to raise at LEAST $1200.00 to $1600.00-and YES, that is the DISCOUNTED PRICE. We pay through-the-roof prices on the East Coast. We even considered traveling far out of state, but if you add the travel costs to the discount, it's not worth the effort.

Then there's the next hurdle.

What if they don't find anything?

What if they DO find something?

Either way, we need to raise enough funds to pay for more tests and/or surgery-all for one, charming, adorable, sweet natured, kitten who is struggling and fighting to live a decent, normal life.

I know if we do nothing, Cara will not make it. Although she gained 9 ounces from last Tuesday to Saturday, from Saturday to today, her weight is unchanged. She vomited many times this past week. This is a bad sign.

Cara can limp onward, eating thin gruel, but the longer it takes us to cure her, the more potential we have for losing her.

If you can help Cara, just click on the “ChipIn!” button on the ChipIn widget, below. Give whatever you can COMFORTABLY give and if you've been so kind as to help us in the past, then don't feel you have to again.

All I ask, is that you SHARE this post with your cat-loving friends. We've come together and made miracles happen before. Hopefully we can do it again.

We set the ChipIn widget goal HIGH because it's very likely that Cara will need surgery or more tests and we only want to do ONE more fundraiser for her. If we find out we don't need more tests or surgery, we'll drop the goal down ASAP! Should we have any money leftover, it will go to another Kitten Associates foster cat who needs medical care. Your donation is tax deductible.

Thank you again for your love and support and for sharing Cara's story with your friends.

If you'd prefer to mail a check, please make the check out to “Robin Olson” and use the following address:

Kitten Associates, Inc
P.O. Box 354
Newtown, CT 06470-0354
Please note on check: FOR CARA