Cute Photo

I'm sitting here at my desk. It's 102°F outside. It's a bit warm in the house even with the A/C on, but none of that matters. All I can think about is Chester.

I just went to Dr. Larry's to visit Chester. It was quiet there today. The usual sounds of construction were thankfully absent. There weren't any clients. The mad rush had just ended. I wasn't sure I wanted to know how Chester was doing, but there I was, anyway. Lauren, one of the very nice lady-Vet techs, smiled when she spoke of how Chester was doing. I couldn't wait to see him.

Over night Chester had made some sort of great improvement. No longer laying down and eating out of the side of his mouth-he was sitting up and eating furiously. He was sleeping, not like a damp rag, spread out on a table, but curled up as any normal cat might do. Not only that, but when she brought him out for us to visit, I gasped when I saw him. He was standing on all fours!

©2010 Robin AF Olson. Chester looks like a cat again. Hurrah!

Chester is still weak. It's to be expected, but he was UP and reacting to being petted. He was looking around and appeared to be much perkier than even the day before.

I was simply, astonished.

©2010 Robin AF Olson. Chester gets a bit of help to keep him steady as they take his weight for the day.

I bought Chester a catnip mousy toy. This catnip is REALLY strong and there isn't a lot available to purchase. I felt lucky to get some. I wanted to see if Chester would react to it at all; another way to gauge how he's doing.

I should have brought him a napkin because once he got a whiff of the catnip he started to drool a bit! It was clear he liked it very much. Seeing him do something, so completely normal, something I would never think twice about seeing, was truly remarkable. This cat is a cat again!

©2010 Robin AF Olson. Chester digs his catnip mousy toy.

While Chester was rubbing against his mousy, Sam, Lauren and I petted him. His coat feels much cleaner and softer. Though he is still quit thin, he appears to have gained some weight. His eyes were almost zombie-like on Saturday and now they react in a more normal way. It was a blessing to witness this transformation.

©2010 Robin AF Olson. A little bit stoned from the catnip (the tail of the mousy is under his arm), Chester enjoys his pets.

I spoke with Dr. M., who works with Dr. Larry. She was also very impressed with Chester's improvements. I asked if he was going home tomorrow and I think there is a good chance of that happening. It's not for me to discuss or decide-that's up to his family. I might give him one more day of Vet care since traveling in this terrible heat might be very hard on him, but again...that is out of my hands. One way or the other, I think Chester will be home one day soon (KNOCK WOOD, no jinxing here!)

©2010 Robin AF Olson. Chester, you ARE amazing!

We had a nice visit with Chester. It may be our last before he leaves for home. I told him I loved him and that I was proud of him for doing so well and to keep up the good work. I could tell that he was getting tired and needed to rest more. He probably has a long recovery period yet to go.

©2010 Robin AF Olson. Chester loves the attention from his new friends, as he thinks of home and his family who are waiting to see him.

It dawned on me just as we left-that Chester has been receiving Vet care for almost as long as he was lost in the woods. In my minds' eye, I can still see his face, the eyes dark, his body unmoving, under that fallen tree, perfectly blended in with the dead leaves he was about to become part of, forever. For the rest of my life, I will never forget rescuing Chester and his remarkable recovery. There are so few things to be happy about these days. For once, it's nice to take a moment and have something to smile about.

Chester is out of the woods, in more ways than one.

Last week I got a plea from Betsy Merchant, our friend at Henry Humane. She wanted to pull three older kittens, get them spayed/neutered, get their shots and GET THE THE HELL OUT OF HENRY CO. CARE & CONTROL, who we know euthanizes 95% of all the cats they take in-young or old.

Last week, I asked YOU to help me help Henry Humane pay for these services by asking for donations of as little as $1 to as much as you could comfortably give.

You answered my request with grace and generosity. In ONE DAY we raised $700. Some of the donations were just $1, but we did it by the large number of folks who donated. See how awesome things are when we all take it upon ourselves to be involved?

That money will go to the continued care of the kittens below, after their vetting is complete, so they can be fed and have clean litter until the day comes that they are adopted. They are no longer on DEATH ROW because of all of us!

To adopt these cuties, visit Glory and Jefferson on Petfinder!

Not only that, but because we have EXTRA money, Betsy has been inspired by us to do more! She is looking to find another "Condo" (cage set up) so she can try to squeeze a few more kittens into Henry Humane, the little non-profit that stands by, trying to help as many as they can.

Put a smile on this boy's face! Visit THOMAS on Petfinder!

Betsy has more kittens and cats that need help. Some have been waiting years for a home. FOR EACH CAT WE FIND THEM HOMES FOR, then Betsy can PULL MORE CATS OFF DEATH ROW and bring them to Henry Humane!! These cats come fully vetted for $100. Which is SUPER cheap considering if you had all that stuff done at most Vets it would be a few hundred dollars!

You live too far from Georgia? Heck no. I'm sure we can arrange transport to your area. Just ask. It doesn't hurt to ask, right?

Here are the kitties who've been looking for a home for a LONG time! Let's get the word out and see if we can find them a forever home!

First up, the furry fun factory --- Patience and Prudence:

Patience

Her sister, Prudence

Next, Sabrina

Cinder

Not to play favorites, but...HOW THE HECK IS THIS CAT NOT ADOPTED??? Meet ARK

Another cutie...heck, they all are...Shadow Is he on the right or left? I don't know! I'd take 'em both!

Flower!

THIS CAT HAS BEEN LOOKING FOR A HOME FOR TWO YEARS. COME ON! WE CAN FIND HER A HOME! A TABBY FOR GOODNESS SAKES! THEY ARE SO FRIENDLY! Her name is Amethyst

Please, just spread the word on these kitties. All they ever wanted was a home to call their own. Let's help them find one! Thank you!

There's been a lot of emotion wrapped up in searching for, then finding Chester. At first, there was dread and fear that we would never find him or find he had passed away. Then there was the fear that once found he would not survive the day, but...somehow he did.

I called the Vet a few times to check in on Chester's progress. Each time I called I had a knot in my stomach. This might as well have been one of my own cats, I felt such worry. I tried to steal myself against the possibility that my call would end in tears.

Baby steps. Chester is slowly improving. He's not going to bounce back as a kitten would, but considering everything? Heck, he is eating on his own and sitting up. That's great in my book.

So today instead of calling, Sam and I went to visit Chester. The knot tightened up as I walked to the door of the small clapboard building that housed the Animal Emergency Clinic of Danbury. There was a man sitting in the waiting area with a big dog. I wondered what was wrong with him. The person at the front desk was very nice and told us to wait a few minutes while she got Chester.

The Tech came out holding Chester in a blue towel. She told us to join her in the exam room. She gingerly put Chester down on the exam table. His back end wasn't too strong, so he laid down on his side. We both began to carefully pet him, not wanting to break his fragile form. He was just as skinny as ever, but when I slipped my index finger under his right front paw, he gave it a little squeeze.

©2010 Robin AF Olson, Chester on his soft towel being the proper host.

His paws were nice and warm. I rubbed his cheeks. He pushed back on my hand. Sam rubbed his rump and his tail wiggled. Every little thing he did was a miracle.

©2010 Robin AF Olson, Chester is still pooped, but is hanging in there.

Chester had a very familiar melancholy look on his face. It reminded me of my own cat, Bob Dole (who is finally doing better, by the way...). I wondered what Chester was thinking about. I'm sure he was missing his family.

©2009 Robin AF Olson, Bob reminds me of Chester and vice versa.

We spent a few minutes with Chester. I didn't want to interrupt his resting, after all, but I knew that some lovin' would also help him fee better. The Vet came in and talked to us about Chester. She felt he was doing well, considering everything. Then the Tech came back and took Chester away. I said good bye. I couldn't help but cry. I wondered what would happen when Chester's family came to get him. If he would make it home. If I would ever hear about how he was doing?

The vividness of all that happened with this rescue hit me hard...finding Chester was one of the best moments of my life. With all the rescue, the funds raised, the families I've helped...this one cat has really gotten to me. I can still see his face in my mind's eye, that face amid the brambles and brush, motionless as a statue, but with the still beating heart of a lion.

©2010 Robin AF Olson, My new buddy, Chester!

So in theory, the story ends about here. The family comes to get him and I go back to...what was I doing?

Then, two things happened.

1: The Vet Tech asked if she could show me this cat who had been dumped at the clinic. He has NO name. He is deformed or has nerve damage and they want to find him a home. Can I help?

©2010 Robin AF Olson, Who the Heck is THIS?

So here he is. I'll do more of a write up about him soon. He's about 2, VERY VERY friendly and needs a new home to call his own. He loves everyone. His left front leg has been checked out by a neurologist who said he can either take the leg or leave it since the cat uses it and doesn't seem to be hampered by it at all, so they decided to leave it. If you want to know more, you can call The Danbury Animal Emergency Clinic at 203-790-6383

2. While I was writing this post, Chester's Mom called me from Maine. She wanted to take me up on my offer to transport Chester to Dr. Larry for a few extra days of care. Chester's "Uncle" is going to pick him up on Wednesday and bring him to Maine to be reunited with his family and to get more Vet care as needed. They just want him stable enough to travel and the Emergency Clinic closes at 8am tomorrow, so it looks like this story isn't going to end here and I WILL be seeing Chester again, soon!

What will happen next is anyone's guess. I've got more cats to rescue and one cat to transport to Dr. Larry-who is recovering from an emergency kidney stone removal operation! AND..who had this done the day before his birthday! Oh, Dr. Larry we hope you are well this week and we know we owe you a birthday present. Would you like to take care of a geriatric cat I rescued? That would be fun, right? Okay, what about a nice bottle of red wine?...AND a geriatric cat I rescued?

Yesterday, we really had a big day. Between a lot of dedicated cat rescuers, we were able to save one, maybe two lives from Henry County. The sad thing is, that between 200 and 300 die EVERY MONTH. I said, EVERY MONTH.

©2010 Henry County Care & Control. These two kittens can be saved with a few dollars pitched in from each of us.

Our efforts inspired Betsy Merchant, our contact at Henry, to reach out and ask for some financial support. She is willing to take a risk, but we need to help finance what she wants to do. Right now, it means life for three older kittens-their photos are posted in this article. Maybe later, it will mean life for three more once the first group finds homes.

©2010 Henry County Care & Control.

From Betsy: “I know there are cat people out there who want to help but are unable.

©2010 Henry County Care & Control.

We have ONE quarantine condo open at Henry Humane and I will take these 3 larger, older kittens over tomorrow so they do not have to die if I can get some financial help toward their vetting. We take as many felines as we can from AC that I never even bother to advertise, right now we still have several of our spring bottle kittens who have not been adopted, and almost ALL of our last years kittens who are now adults. We are at capacity but hopefully these babies could be altered now since they are bigger and get adopted QUICKLY while they are still young and cute!

©2010 Henry County Care & Control.

Although we are all doing as much as we can 200-300 cats and kittens a month are still dying at our shelter. I am having SUCH a hard time this year dealing with the death. I have so many kittens at home right now we are on serious overload.

If anyone would like to help me with some sponsorship money please let me know and I will pull them before eutho tomorrow.

©2010 Henry County Care & Control.

Donations can be made at HENRY HUMANE

When you make your donation, you MUST ADD:

3 ANIMAL CONTROL KITTENS PER BETSY

so the donation goes to these kittens.

Why is your donation going to Henry Humane and NOT Henry Co. Care & Control? Because the cats are taken FROM animal control, TO Henry Humane so they will be safe and out of danger of being put down.

Is this a tax deduction? YES!!! Is this going to directly go to kittens to save their lives? YES! Can you spare $1 or $5? That's all we really need. If we all donate together those small amounts will easily cover what they need and then some. I just made a donation of $100.00 right now. I hope you will join me even if it's $1. It's ALL GOOD.

Thank you so much for caring for these helpless creatures. Let's see if we can save a few more lives today!

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson

Before I found the big barf to clean up or even made it out of bed, this was the first thing I saw this morning; Nicky and Blitzen, snuggled together. Nicky weighs 19 lbs and is one of the biggest cats I have ever seen. At 8 months, little Blitzen looks like he's got a long way to go before he'll be as big as his new “brother.”

Looks like Blitzen has learned how to fit in quite well.

But really. We need a bigger bed. Sam's legs are behind Blitzen and Sam is almost hanging off the mattress! Oops.

Happy Caturday!

I was thinking about my recent post: What will happen to my cats when I die? I was fortunate that I have one friend, Super-Deb, who will take 2 of the 8 cats. My other good friend, Jennifer, jumped in via e-mail and said "I've got your back." Our long time-CiCH friend and Super-Spencer-Fan, Shelli, said she would HAVE to give Spencer a home, no matter what.

Then it hit me. What if...

...we could put together a group of people who would be known, trusted cat lovers, who have great Vet references, who know how to deal with cat problems, behavior issues, health issues, who, for the return of the same kindness to the group-the group does the same for them. When one of us dies, we have a number of people already lined up who are willing and able to care for one or more of our cats.

Perhaps we could form bonds during our lives and know that certain cats are "spoken for", but there are always people that are considered the "fail safe or runner up" should “Miss America not be able to fulfill her duties...” so to speak.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson Patches has her whole life in front of her, but what would happen if her owner died suddenly?

Not only are we providing a vital service, but we're giving each other the support when we will need it most-when we can no longer care for our cats and when they are at high risk of being euthanized if they are taken to a shelter, instead of to a trusted friend.

So what happens if someone takes in another person's cat and that cat has lots of issues. What if it doesn't work out? Are we back to square one? Does that cat become homeless again? How do we protect everyone in this situation? I'm not sure. This is where I'm stuck.

What do you think? How could this work? I see it as possibly something that is begun with myself and my trusted friends who would have to be completely checked out-even background check. Then, to join, you would have to be invited, then have a serious check of your background, Vet check, home visit, etc. Once passed, you're in for life. We all would pay in a yearly fee and that money would be pooled into an account we draw from to cover costs when a cat/s has to be transported to a new home and perhaps any costs to get the cat UTD on shots/tests if needed.

We'd also need an attorney to help us craft the wording that we would all have to add to our Will. I would want every loose end tied up because families fight over everything once someone dies. If your lawyer or family KNOW there is a provision in your Will, then they can't do too much about that.

Perhaps this service already exists? Where is it? Where do I sign up?

Oscar & Henry are two big brothers. One is a buff tabby and the other is an orange tabby. They're about 1 1/2 years old and bonded like no others. they are in good health and they are up to date on their shots and tests. Their mama is a solider who has been transferred to Germany, then after that, a lot more travel around the globe. For the sake of her cats, she decided it was best that they find a new home, together, instead of putting them through the stress of moving out of the country.

Oscar & Herny are big boys who love to cuddle and play!

Last month, I let you all know about these lovey-dovey boys in my post HERE, but sadly, no one stepped up to adopt them.

We did have the boys come to our adoption event earlier this month, but they were competing against a few crateloads of kittens, so they went back to their foster home to continue waiting for that special person who would give them a second chance.

Currently, Oscar & Henry are living in Bridgeport, CT under the care of a very sweet lady who is ALLERGIC to the cats! Thankfully, she is graciously giving them a home, but she can't keep them forever.

If you know anyone in Connecticut or ANYWHERE (we CAN work out transportation) who might like to help a Solider out while she helps keep us all safe and free, then you're doing a double-kindness in my book.

If you can help a Soldier and save two kitties lives, please Contact: Christa 203-751-7523 or visit their Petfinder ad HERE.

I'm not getting any younger. That's for sure. Every day new aches pop up and the type on cat food can labels looks like a secret code only a mouse could read. I don't have children (other than furry ones) and my family is sparse, mostly non-cat people (how that happened, I don't know) or I hate their guts (oops).

That leaves me with a predicament.

Who will care for my cats after I die? Sam and I are together so often that we could die together in an accident. What then? What if Sam dies first, then I die?

©2009 Robin A.F. Olson. Bob has already had two families that I know of. Will he have another one day?

I have a Will. In it, I dictated that the Director of the group I'm with should find homes for my cats. I have come to realize that that choice is not a good one any longer. I would rather know the homes my cats are going to now, if, at all possible. Just as people do with children, I would like to choose “Godparents” for my cats.

Am I being morbid? NO. I'm being realistic. Shit happens even when you're 18 or 32. I'm pushing the big 5-0. I've been lucky so far, but one day the luck will run out.

©2008 Robin A.F. Olson. Cricket sleeps. My former feral is mostly too shy around anyone but us. What will become of him? He's a really sweet boy. He would not make it in a shelter.

I started to imagine putting just one person in charge of all the cats. They would get my house, most of my stuff, but would have to live here until all the cats pass away (naturally!), then they can do what they want with the stuff. But that's a lot to ask.

The other problem is that the people who would give my cats the best home, already HAVE, in most cases, quite a few cats, already. Asking them to take 8 more is too much. Perhaps, asking them to take one or two is possible?

I don't have to have it all sorted out in a day (I hope), but I dipped my toe into the water to see how it would feel. I asked someone to take Bob Dole, should he outlive me.

I asked, Super-Deb.

©2009 Robin A.F. Olson. Spencer. The pouffy cat with his own fan club. Spencer is my beloved, but he wouldn't be an easy fit into just any home. He must have play time or he can be bossy with other cats. He's an alpha-boy, too and does not like belly rubs or to be picked up. That said, he loves to be near me at all times and he's “my boy.”

I love Super-Deb, but who wouldn't love someone who is super? Even though I've known SD for many years, I don't know her very well. She is a private person, with me, but I get the feeling she's shared things with me that maybe not many other people know. She may seem to be a bit guarded, but it doesn't take long for her to reveal a wicked dry sense of humor. Her devotion to her own animals and her loving care of them is a beautiful sight to behold. She really knows her stuff and has been a mentor to me during so many crises and a calming voice during the worst of it.

©2009 Robin A.F. Olson. Petunia or “'Tunie” as I call her. She should be called; “Princess.” She's clever, chats with me and can do tricks, but she is high strung-no wonder, she's one of the lowest cats and I know the boys pick on her some times. She would be great in a home with no other cats other than her mama, Gracie. I know she would blossom.

She's jokingly called “Aunt Debbie” when Bob goes to Dr. Larry's. Bob loves her and vice versa. He will let her brush him and he won't let me do as much. I only want Bob to visit Dr. Larry when Aunt Debbie is there to oversee his care. It's a perfect fit for SD to take Bob.

©2009 Robin A.F. Olson. I should re-name this cat, “Poor-Gracie.” for she is not in good shape. I'll write more about her, separately, but she's had a very long road with a skin ailment that's taken her beauty and her joy in life. She needs a kind hand and a knowledgeable person to keep her healthy.

Yesterday we were talking on the phone about my worries about Gracie. I didn't have the nuts to ask her about Bob, so I sent her an email, shyly asking her to ignore my being a loonie, and would she consider taking Bob (along with some money for his care) if something happens to me and Sam? She wrote back a resounding YES!

A few minutes later, my phone rang. SD blurted; “Can I have Blitzen, too?!”

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Bob and Blitz. Some days things are just perfect.

I didn't want to ask her for that, thinking it was too big of a request, but of course, YES. I would be happy for her to take him, too.

I've got four more cats to figure out homes for, unless Sam wants me to try to place his cats, too, and then it will be six. Once we have this worked out, I go to my lawyer. I want to protect my cats as much as I can after I die. They shouldn't have to face death row at a shelter because they might be older or sickly. It's not fair to them at all.

©2009 Robin A.F. Olson. I assume there will be a fist-fight over Nicky, but with Nicky, comes Nora. Maybe they can go back and live with their brothers; “Charles and Bailey,” but I haven't asked just yet.

I hope that all of you will think about this and how it effects your own life and cat-family. Yes, it's scary or creepy or “you just don't want to go there,” but if you don't “go there” it's selfish. What of your cats? Their future well-being? Your dogs? Some times you have to do things that are unpleasant, but knowing you have it worked out, for when your time comes? Well, hopefully, it's a great comfort to you and most assuredly, the least you can do for your pets.

A few weeks ago, we learned about Alice, from our friends at the Milwaukee Animal Rescue Center. Little Alice, unlike the rest of her siblings, was suffering with a serious eye problem. Not sure Alice would ever have sight, then ARC jumped into action, making sure Alice had every chance to see the world around her. The arranged a bake sale, the asked for help to raise money for potential surgeries and to see a specialist.

©Amy Rowell, ARC

Alice has many Guardian Angels. One in particular, who I can't name, is a reader and friend to CiCH. This person, dug very deep into her pocket and with her generosity, literally changed this kitten's life, forever-for the better. When you think just one person can't make a difference, think again. Without that person, without ARC, their volunteers, all the folks who baked yummy treats and who gave their time and effort to getting Alice to the Vet numerous times and to make sure she got love and care, too...well, it's just amazing how many people-acting together, stepped up and said; “I can do something. Let me do my part to make this one cat's life the best it can be.” They didn't know it would work out. They only did their part of this and woven together, what a fine tapestry they made!

©Amy Rowell, ARC. Alice among the toys.

Today, I received an update from Amy Rowell, one of the folks at ARC. She wrote:

“Alice is great! She is responding so well to her treatments and we may be able to avoid surgery - one of the defects self corrected as a result of our quick access to the specialist and diligent care in her foster care home...we've spent close to $700 on medications, exams, and diagnostics already - so if we can avoid surgery, I'll be one happy camper!
The other defect may not be operable...we will see as she grows in the next two weeks how that one develops - but in the meantime it is not harming her or limiting her - she has caught up to her littermates in reaching developmental milestones and for certain has some level of vision as she is able to navigate in her environment! We are continuing with two meds right now and crossing paws - her next appointment is in 2 weeks!”

We hope Alice will continue to do well and we send her lots of love and good wishes! I'll be posting updates on Alice as they are available. Until then-thank you to everyone who stepped up to help this kitten and who rescue kittens everywhere.

Candytuft will be leaving tomorrow. He's getting neutered in the morning, then will most likely be put up for adoption once he has some time to recover. Writing this makes it seem like a simple statement, but reaching this moment was not a sure bet.

Candy, 18 days ago.

I didn't know we'd make it. Candy was one of the nastiest kittens I've dealt with so far. He still has a knee-jerk reaction to hiss, but it doesn't mean anything now. It's like a person gasping when startled, instead of a person flipping out and punching you in the face when startled.

Candy, 8 days ago.

Candy, today.

Someone liked to watch the weather report with me. I'm not sayin' who.

Happy, at last and loving life.

I'm by no means a professional feral kitten socializer, but here are some thoughts/tips:

Most important-“tough love”...sequester the kitten away from all animals and people. You will be the only one he/she sees for the next few days, until he/she is socialized.

A little shy for a moment or two? Don't worry, Candy!

1. GO SLOW. Don't expect too much and don't talk a lot to the kitten at first, it's just another thing that can cause a fearful reaction. If you do talk, keep it to a whisper. Don't move too much or too fast until you feel the kitten is comfortable with you.

2. The toothbrush was the key (I attached it to a wooden stick to make it longer-keeping my hand safe and allowed the kitten to stay at a comfortable distance). It's small, not threatening and it really made a big difference. Candy loved the feeling of being brushed even if, at first, it scared him. Within a short period of time, I encouraged Candy to come closer to me to get brushed, then snuck my hand in to replace the brush. He got scared, but quickly loved being petted, as it reminding him of the touch of his mama.

Candy LOVED eating raw (today's meal included some dehydrated chicken treats crumbled on top).

3. I gave high value treats off a baby spoon (again, a tiny sized item that is not threatening) attached to a longer wooden spoon. A raw diet is a high value treat. I used ground raw rabbit (sorry!). You can use ground turkey, chicken, duck, quail, venison, not beef. Make sure the meat also has the proper nutrients added. There are many pre-mixed brands of raw food out there.

4. Chicken baby food with no rice is also a good treat. Encourage the kitten to come closer to you as you feed the treat. Also, KEEP THE KITTEN HUNGRY. Don't leave out tons of food. When you bring the treat, the kitten will start to come out to see you, knowing there will be food. Always have good food on you the first few days until the kitten is more confident.

Silly boy!

5. With Candy, I began to realize he was all bark and no bite. His hissing was a sign of fear, but after a few days, there was aggression. As much as I could, I didn't react when he hissed, I either distracted him with a toy, or petted him until he forgot to be hissy. Once he was getting petted, he was so happy, he would not hiss.

6. Have no expectation of outcome. Just let the kitten go at his/her own pace. You'll be surprised at how fast they move along-far faster than you expect!

I hope these informal pointers help you with your feral fosters. Cats CAN change if you give them the time and are patient, but also know when to give them a push to challenge them on to the next step.

I hereby award you, little Candytuft, the first ever, Good Kittizenship Award, given only to feral kitties who meet the following criteria listed below.

Concatulations Candy! You've become a very friendly little man. I hope you'll find yourself a happy home, full of love and you never have a sad or difficult day for the rest of your life.