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Foster Cat Journal: Throbbing Headache Tuesday

I feel like my head is going to explode. The stress from worrying about making “the phone call” to try to get Donner & Dancer back has really gotten to me.

Last night I had a shot of brandy, which didn't do a thing to help calm my nerves and I'm not much of a drinker-fyi. I had another fitful night sleep, complete with nightmares. Once again I was living in a dumpy apartment and I had to get into the elevator to get out of the building. A few weeks ago I had another dream about an elevator where it would change shape and become very small in size, so small that my claustrophobia really kicked into gear-setting me into a panic. Or I'd have to fit into a tiny space if I wanted to get from one place to another. It was Alice in Wonderland, from Hell.

I did make the call and spoke to the adopter. He was on a conference call and I asked when I could call him back and he told me “after 5pm.” So, I gotta wait. I've tried to do some work, but working on a Powerpoint presentation is not my idea of soothing my nerves. I spoke to Sam, I spoke to some of you guys, I wrote down what I was going to say, like a script, so I would stay on track.

I spoke with Dr. Larry and he told me that ringworm was far more serious than I thought it was and that he would support me if the adopters call him about it, BUT...as my Director told me and Dr. Larry told me, to prepare for them getting really angry with me and to not let me have the kittens back. I completely understand that and I feel terrible about this, but my goal is that this is in the best interest of the kittens. It's not about anyone being a bad person. I made a mistake. I'm trying to correct it. If I can't, then I can't. If I can, I am gonna RUN over there and get the cats.

Thank you to everyone for all your support and kind words. It's interesting to me that if I had not posted anything about this, I might have found a way to be quietly ashamed of myself and not called these people up and had this difficult conversation. You guys keep me honest. You know I need to do this and you're paying attention, even sending me emails asking me if I called yet! Is that a good thing? I think so.

Maybe I'll go on a diet next. I could use some help in that area, too.

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Comments

Oh I feel dread just reading you have to make that call - but then again, I hate calling people with a passion. I hope that it goes well for you - I don't know what to say that will make it easier, but you are doing it with the best of intentions for those two kitties. I really hope they don't give you grief, and that they let you take the kittens back. At least you know we are all behind you trying to send you lots of support, even if it is a psychic/internetty kind of thing.

Keep it in perspective - if they get mad at you, they get mad at you. They aren't of any other consequence in your life are they? Yes, you'll feel bad - nobody likes having someone upset with them. That bad feeling won't last - it's important to remember that. The point is that you are making a huge effort for these kittens and whether they give back the kittens or not, you went to great lengths for them. The adopters aren't totally in the right here, bear in mind...they led you to believe that the cats would have a certain status in their home (these are the people who seemed very interested in feeding raw, weren't they?). Have they even made an appointment with the vet to look into the ringworm? If those were my kittens, I'd get that taken care of right away, especially since it's zoonotic. Were they trying to appear more into being a cat family than they actually are? Just some thoughts to bolster you.

Something is definitely fishy with them...if they lied about the food, what else did they lie about? A cat collar doesn't necessarily mean they plan to let the cats out (Rayne wears one, after all, just in case she sneaks out) but a GPS collar seems a bit excessive for people who have no intention of ever letting the cat out.

I can't put my finger on it, but I feel like something is off. Keep us posted about the call!

Robin, we all know your heart is always in the right place. If you didn't care SO much, you would not be putting yourself through this torment. You are still my hero!!!

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