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Foster Cat Journal: Talking Myself Off the Ledge

I knew today would be tough. Donner and Dancer were slated to be adopted together. I was somewhat prepared to let them go, knowing they were going to a good home. Sure, I would cry, but they need to be with a new family who will love them always.

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Little Donner. ©2010 Ryan Feminella

A few minutes before the adopters arrived, I noticed that Dancer had a bald patch on her leg-surely not today...no...not RINGWORM again?!!! I began to worry that if Dancer had to stay behind, then Donner would go alone and I could not allow that. Donner is far too social of a cat to be without the company of another cat. This family had no other pets. In fact, it's been so long that they had anything other than fish, they had no Vet reference. I was willing to overlook that because they would not let the cats outdoors, not declaw them and were certainly willing to feed them a grain free canned food diet-maybe even raw. They were going to take the kittens to my own Vet, too. So maybe it would be okay?

Then the family arrived. All six of them. The youngest was 11 and the oldest child is in college. I felt like it would be too much for Dancer to handle and the poor cat freaked out. She showed terribly and if Donner hadn't been so fantastic, I doubt they would have adopted the kittens. My heart began to sink. I just thought that maybe it was too much. That how could I adopt to people with no Vet reference? They didn't seem to be madly in love with the kittens. Maybe something was wrong. I can't say exactly why, but I started to feel that maybe this was not a good idea...but it was too late.

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Dancer looking lovely as ever. ©2010 Ryan Feminella

I tried to talk them out of the adoption-offering them first pick of the next litter due in a month or so. They said they had been looking for a long time and that they were sure these were the right kittens. The eldest daughter said she knew the kittens needed time and that it would be all right for them, but I kept hoping they would change their minds-even after knowing that Dancer probably had ringworm.

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My sweet muffin, Donner. ©2010 Robin Olson

Apparently, the two youngest boys do wrestling in school and perked up when I mentioned ringworm. One of them casually replied; “ Oh yeah, if a kid gets ringworm, he can't wrestle. It happens all the time!” Yikes! Their stepmom looked worried about it, but they all assured her it was not a big deal.

I called Dr. Larry and made them an appointment for the kittens. At least I know they will, hopefully, continue to use him as their Vet and that way I'll get some updates on how they're doing. I offered to pay for the visit, since Dancer will need medications and a DTM. I should have kept her here for another 30 days, but the adopters wanted her today. There was just no keeping them here. The giant band-aid had to come off and boy did it hurt.

I'm very thankful that Jennifer called me while I was writing this post. I cried for the better part of an hour after everyone left. Sam comforted me as best he could, but somehow it wasn't until Jennifer talked to me-my comrade in mourning-that things didn't feel quite so painful. She smartly reminded me of another adoption I did last year. I was SO sure it was the PERFECT family for my one little kitten. They were going to dote on her and they had a big McMansion, etc...

Then, Jennifer and I paid them a visit. Once there we both got the creeps, very bad creeps. These folks wanted to adopt another kitten from me and I kept putting them off-for MONTHS. I was sure they were not great adopters and I had wished I hadn't adopted to them at all. Jennifer reminded me that where I thought these guys were perfect, they were lacking. That the adopted kitten should be all right, but no more should go to this home-ever. That perhaps, the people who adopted from me today, might not appear to be that great on paper, but may, in the end, turn out to provide a big, loving home, for two cats who have carved a place in my heart, forever.

Comments

aw man, SO hard.

I could never do it, Robin. Never. I'd be the crazy cat lady with 100 kitties. My hat is off to you, your heart is SO big, and you are SO loving to these kittens.

just like the "interim care workers" who cared for Malka and Noah Matan for the first 10 weeks of their lives, they hold a HUGE place in our heart, and we think of them often. I also know that I often think of the foster moms who cared for Quincy beast, and previously, Juno, Cougar and my Sweet Pea Pea, may they all rest in peace. It is BECAUSE of them that WE have been given a chance at furry love.

So much love to you sweet Robin.

They sound like they're going to give the kitties a loving home.

When I adopted Rayne, I didn't have a vet reference. As a matter of fact, I had never owned a cat in my life! I was a self-proclaimed dog person. Then when I was 22 I went through a REALLY bad breakup and stayed with a friend for a few days. Her cat, who never bothered with me before, sat with me and purred while I cried. That's when I decided I wanted - needed - a cat of my own. Someone to take care of and love, someone who would always love me back.

Then I found Rayne on petfinder and fell in love.

In retrospect, I probably wasn't an ideal candidate. I was living on my own for the first time, I just started my first REAL job and I was going to grad school in the fall. The shelter made my mom cosign the application...just in case I couldn't take care of her properly. I had no idea what to DO with a cat, so I read everything on the internet that I could find and I took Rayne home a week later.

I take good care of her, and I feel so proud every year when I take her to the vet. They say that she's got a beautiful coat and that she's healthy and clean and well taken care of.

She's the reason I'm able to get out of bed every morning.

So my point is that no one is perfect, but if they're good people they deserve a chance to prove themselves.

Also my story probably made you and all the other rescue folks cringe. :P I'm the type of adopter that you screen for I guess.

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I think it DOES help knowing your story because I have to screen adopters all the time and I AM concerned about an adopter who has never owned a cat before...but then there is the argument of how do they learn if they don't get that chance to adopt?

In your case, I'm so glad it worked out for everyone. You might want to drop the shelter a note and give them an update. That way they can learn from their decision and perhaps be able to adopt out more cats to first-time adopters. It's a tricky tightrope to walk. That's for sure.

You did great. I'm proud of you.

I already did that. I sent them a ton of pictures and a video of Rayne on her first Christmas. I spoiled her rotten that year!! They were happy to hear that she is well. ^_^

Thank you, Shelli. I can always count on you for hugs and love. Right back at you.

xxoxoxo

Robin, we just want to let you know that we think you are wonderful! You've done such a marvelous job and made all of the difference in these kitties lives.

We're purring that Dancer and Donner's new family will love and adore them huge big bunches!

Charlemagne and Tamar

Robin you are fantastic! I'm so sorry you felt awful about this and it made you so miserable.

You have done so much for these kittens. It was time for them to go to a "forever home" and you made certain they went together and did your best to check out the adopters to make sure they'd be ok.

Remember, these people have come forward to adopt rescue kittens. They must have good intentions, or they wouldn't have made the effort. The fact that they are a big family isn't necessarily an issue - lots of big families keep pets and find it really enhances their lives. If they havent had cats, but are willing to find things out and learn, then they'll be ok. And as for the little boys and their "wrestling" speech - that is just boys you know - they say all kinds of crazy stuff just for effect, especially when there are other boys listening. They probably have no idea what ringworm is and were talking about some totally different thing, like a tummy bug or an injury! Their mother probably looked worried from embarrassment at what stupid rubbish they were saying to wind up the "nice cat adoption lady"!

I'm sure they'll be okay. The vet will talk with them and help them. The cats are together and will look after one another. If the children get too boisterous, the cats will make themselves scarce and find a suitable hidey-hole where they won't be pestered, til the boys have finished horsing around.

Cats usually do great in family environments. We always had cats when I was a little girl. My mum had a nursery for little kids and also looked after some older boys after school and in school holidays, so our house was always busy. Our cats were ok - they were well, happy and loved.

There may not be such a thing as a "Perfect Home" for all your kitties, but a "Good Home" would do pretty well, wouldn't it? I'm sure that is what you have found for these kittens!

Robin - Donner is a beauty! Wow. I love the "sweet muffin" picture. Of course he's not the only cutie but that picture is terrific. You are doing a wonderful service for all these kitties. Just think of all the kitty-love-karma you have!!! Excellent. Paula

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