The Fine Line Between Enough and Too Much

Tue, 2010-12-07 14:37 — Robin Olson

If you read my blog, odds are you, at least, like cats. From the feedback I've gotten over the years, I'm guessing most of you LOVE cats as dearly as I do. The question I place before you today is: Are you rescuing or adopting cats without considering the effect on your own life, well being? Are you clear-minded enough to know when to say, “No” when someone wants you to help then with a cat? Where is the tipping point between having a lot of cats and having too many?

I'm a collector. I have 140 tin lunchboxes, about 50 snow globes, about 40 salt & pepper shakers (only ones that are miniature appliances), cookie jars, old soda advertising signs, illustrated antique children's books and lots more. Everything is organized. You can walk across the room (unless there's a cat in the way). I keep the place tidy and clean (save for a few piles of mail or what not) and it doesn't smell bad unless I cooked dinner recently.

I have eight cats. Sometimes I have as many as 20. Am I a haorder? Or am I walking a fine line between enjoying my collectibles and cats, and sliding into chaos, disease and decay?

I wonder if any of YOU have the same fear I do: “I'm ok and can handle what I have now, but I could see myself going overboard if I'm not careful.”

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Recently, I was contacted by Marsha Rabe. She lives in Connecticut and loves cats. Twenty five years ago she met a woman who became her dear friend. They did a lot of animal rights work including anti-hunting, anti-circus, vegetarian education and more. She's been a tireless advocate for animals for most of her life. Her friend, who I've been asked not to name, “was beyond a doubt one of the most intelligent, charming, talented, articulate, and cultured people I have ever known.”

This is not the description of someone who is a hoarder...yet...over the years her friend developed a problem as described to me by Marsha:

WHAT HOARDING LOOKS LIKE

It started out as it always does, one good person trying to address the horrible overpopulation of cats by taking them in, one at a time.

For more than 30 years, a woman in New Haven took in strays and ferals, adopting them out at the beginning, when she could, but then gradually becoming overwhelmed. Simply maintaining the population took all of her strength and time. To her great credit, she spayed/neutered all of her cats and also provided basic veterinary care. But there was no time or energy left for placement, and besides, many of the cats were feral and basically unplaceable. They were, quite simply, the cats that no one else wanted.

For many years, the cats had a decent quality of life. But this summer, she became seriously ill, and the situation deteriorated quickly and horribly. She died on Nov. 9 from cancers related to conditions in her home.

She was my friend.

As I said, most of the 65 cats were feral and/or sick, and though we tried to find places for them to go, we soon realized that they had to be euthanized. We had the support of a kind and generous veterinarian, but the task was heartbreaking.

We are now trying to place the few that remain.

The only true outside feral is Perdita (last photo), a longhaired grey cat on the light green blanket. She is older, about 12, we think. There are three other indoor ferals whose photos I could not get.

I believe all of the others will come out of their shells, given time, patience, and one-on-one attention. If you have any thoughts about any of these cats, PLEASE let me know.

Thanks very much.

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I asked Marsha if anyone had tried to help this woman reduce the number of cats in her home and she answered:

Yes, I tried to bring up the subject of the cats many times, as did many of her other friends. But her intense sense of privacy and her uncanny ability to deflect any question about the cats — and then to change the subject — meant that none of us ever got very far…until this summer, when she got sick. Then she had to let some of us help, and we learned the details.

I think if your readers find themselves unable to say no, if they find themselves keeping their animals a secret, if they don't let people into their homes, if they find themselves becoming more and more reclusive...then they should ask themselves, "Am I a hoarder?"

What is painfully sad is that Marsha lost her friend because her friend's love and devotion to cats meant more to her than her own life. With lack of sanitary conditions in the home, it not only sickened the cats, it took the life of her friend.

I'd like to help Marsha find homes for the remaining cats.We just need a few folks to step up and lend a hand...that is...IF you have adequate space, the time and the finances to do so. I'm not going to write about hoarding and ask you all to adopt more cats unless your decision is made with a clear mind and adequate resources.

These are the cats who need help now.

Clementine 2.jpg

©2010 Marsha Rabe, MOJO, a three-legged cat with a slightly twisted mouth (which makes eating messy), and a crooked tail. But he is a lively cat who just needs attention so he can stop feeling grumpy and find his way in life.It is hard to get a good photo of him because he is always rubbing your ankles. Robin's Note: I LOVE THAT WHITE FOOT!

©2010 Marsha Rabe, Perdita, is a semi-feral lady who may prefer a barn placement or outdoor placement. Very pretty lady. UPDATE: Perdita has been living INDOORS for the past month and is showing signs of coming out of her shell. I would LOVE to see her get a chance at a real home. At her age, living outdoors would be a cruel end for her. Maybe someone with a quiet home could give her a chance? Perdita is the heroine of Shakesperare's "A Winter's Tale" and means "lost one" in Latin.

There are a few other cats. One just showed up the other day so they're trying to get the situation worked out. If you have a barn and could take a few cats or a loving home or a rescue group that can help with the shy kitties or Mojo, please contact MARSHA RABE directly at:

marsharabe (@ symbol) comcast.net

NOTE: We don't display ______@___.com address to prevent spammers.

The cats have been vetted and are located in the area of NEW HAVEN, CT

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The ASPCA has excellent information about Animal Hoarding and how to recognize hoarding behavior. It's very sobering, indeed and I think it would be arrogant of me to think I could never be that person. I hope that this information helps all of you to keep loving your cats and to make sure you don't take on more than you can handle.

CICH Content Categories:

One I Hold in High Regard

Tabby

Rest in Peace

Comments

Tue, 2010-12-07 17:20 — isilwath

Mark & I had this

conversation earlier today. We were working so hard to save a pregnant mom and an unneutered male cat from Butts Co. They were due to die today. I saw that they had been removed from PetFinder and I assumed the worst. I cried and cried. Mark was like "if they are still alive, do you want to rescue them?" and I had to say no. We have 21 cats. That is too many. Yes, we have room. Yes, they are all cared for. Yes, they are all vetted, up-to-date on shots (except Odette who has been to sick to vaccinate until recently), healthy weights (some too fat), and socialized. Yes, I *should* find a home for Gracie & Ping Pong, but I keep putting it off coz there are so many cats in danger that need out of kill shelters RIGHT NOW or they die, and in the face of death for another cat who needs the spot the adopter has open, I'll just keep these two. And they're no trouble, not really.

But to take on 2 more?? One unneutered male and a pregnant female? No. Just no. As heart wrenching and horrible as it is, I just can't take any more cats. But I feel the pull. "What's one more when you already have so many? What is one more when the alternative is to stand by & let them be gassed?" I want to save them all. I wish I could.

In the end, I didn't have to, because they got rescue and someone else is going to save them.

But I could be that woman, easily. I wonder even now what will happen to my cats if something should happen to me or Mark. 21 cats? Maybe someone could take 1 or 2, but the rest... those that couldn't go back to the rescues I got them from, would probably die after spending a few days terrified in a cage. I don't want that. I don't want that to be my legacy. So I have to draw the line somewhere. Harden my heart, cry bitter tears, but understand that I can't save them all. It's going to take a village, a country, a people to put a stop to this, to step up and say, we will spay and neuter our pets and not add to the overpopulation problem.

As cruel and cold as it seems, I believe we could solve this issue by forcing teenagers to volunteer at high-kill shelters. Make them carry the dogs and cats to their deaths. Make them put them in the gas chambers. Make them stay there and hold the animal while it's euthanized or hear them scream and cry as they are suffocated to death. Make them do that and I PROMISE you spay and neuter rates will skyrocket. You get a bunch of hysterical 16 yr old girls coming home to Mom with horror stories as to what happens to unwanted pets, and they WILL fix their animal.

Yes, it's cruel. Yes, it's traumatizing. Yes, it's cold. But this is how it is. This is reality. The animals are helpless here. Only we can stop so many from being killed each year. Frankly, shoving a few teens faces into it seems worth it to me, but I doubt many people would agree.

Tue, 2010-12-07 19:28 — goddesslu (not verified)

ok i give up. i don't know

ok i give up. i don't know if she's deleting it or submitting it. oh well.

Tue, 2010-12-07 20:12 — Robin Olson

Very moving post, Izzy

Izzy,

I know what you mean. I have to stop looking at all the emails, facebook posts, web sites begging..."they die tomorrow..can you help them?" I can't even pull cats from most shelters, but I do my damndest to try. I spend days on saving two kittens, then don't do my billable work. It's a nightmare. I cry all the time about just the cats I deal with at Henry County. I can't save them all and when I can it's a huge victory for that one cat, but it's no where near enough. My dear friend Connie has adopted THREE cats from GA in the past few months! She feels so bad for the, but she knows she is at her limit since she has, let's just say, more than three.

And your idea is not such a bad one. I think along the same vein, what should happen is anyone who drops off a cat or dog should be SHOWN where their cat is going to DIE if it doesn't get adopted or rescued, then take the cat or dog from them and let them leave. I've heard most folks KNOW but don't want to talk about it and don't give a shit. I know some people are stuck and having a tough time so maybe they could also be given alternate choices of what they can do to KEEP their cat or dog. I know folks at shelters can add to this conversation and I hope they do. It's important to find the key to getting folks to spay/neuter their animals so the numbers can finally come DOWN and we can stop being overwhelmed by grief and frustration.

My hat is off to you and Mark for what you do. You really inspire me with how BIG your hearts are.
:-)
xoxo

Tue, 2010-12-07 22:52 — isilwath

It's hard for me

to look at them too, knowing 9 out of 10 won't make it, but I share and spread the word & give $ when I can. And there are little miracles. Like we were able to get the urgent cats and all but 2 of the urgent dogs out of Butts, and those two might get out too. And a 10-yr old blind cat dumped by her owners coz she fought with their dog, was adopted. And the only kitten spared the gas chamber in a LA shelter was rescued before she was killed too. Tomorrow a 10 yr old cat whose owner died, and who was on the E-list 3 nights in a row & still made it thru the night, will begin a journey that will take her from NYC to Dallas. And Carollton, TX shelter hasn't had to PTS anyone for 3 weeks coz rescues got the urgents out.

Tiny victories. Small miracles. One pet at time. One transport at a time. One fundraiser at a time. We move the world in tiny increments, but we move it. And we mean the world to the ones we save.

Wed, 2010-12-08 10:58 — Denise (not verified)

Hoarding/saving

I saw something similar happen when I lived in Utah. I worked at a veterinary hospital, and we had a contract to do spay/neuter for a local animal sanctuary. The volunteer who normally brought the animals in started telling me that the sanctuary owner was getting more restrictive about when volunteers could come in and where they could go, until they were virtually banned altogether. The sanctuary owner became ill and was in the hospital, and when volunteers went in they found huge numbers of animals, mostly cats, and many very sick cats. The place was eventually shut down and the animals rescued by a Best Friends affiliate. It started out wonderfully, with great intentions, but she took on more than she could handle. I have four cats, not a huge number, but I have one who is diabetic, cat-aggressive, and will spray if too stressed. I know I can't take any more, or I probably would, but I hope I'd still know my limits.
As for making teens watch animals being killed, no objection from me. Get their parents in there with them, frankly.

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The Fine Line Between Enough and Too Much

What is painfully sad is that Marsha lost her friend because her friend's love and devotion to cats meant more to her than her own life. With lack of sanitary conditions in the home, it not only sickened the cats, it took the life of her friend.