The 2008 Cat Barf Blow-lympics

Welcome fellow sports enthusiasts and cat lovers (not LOVERS) to the 2008 Cat Barf Blow-lympics! This year, the Blow-lympics (e.g. BL) is being hosted by none other than, our own Covered in Cat Hair, Queen of Black Stretchy Pants! After years of competing against those wily ferals in New York City, the contest has relocated (err...been moved under duress) to the woods of Connecticut and our modest Queen's modest home.

And of course, this year the coveted locale provides awesome sponsorship opportunities in a wide range of horizontal surfaces…dull hard wood floors, precious family heirloom rugs and yet we forget, the expansive, dirty and somewhat fractured white tile flooring! Imagine "Your Name Here" with placement within viewing range of the latest cat created spew. Not only that, but there will be hundreds of Press from around the globe, ready to capture the big moment, all while YOUR Brand is being featured prominently!

We expectorate this year to have an even bigger audience than ever before—predicted to reach at least 15 to 20 people, some of whom will actually watch and/or clean up and/or have a sympathy wretch after each event.

Act NOW so you won't miss out on any of the events! Imagine the spectacle of seeing:

— Name that post-spewed object. Ew. Is it...oh no..it's not!!!

— Beat the World Record: Re-eating Dry Food Barfs in under10 seconds

— Longest hairball

— Heaviest hairball

— The sublime elegance of freestyle barfing

— Hairball Luge

— Co-ed Team barfing

— The barfcathalon. The non-stop barf-fest. Who will survive? Who will get dehydrated and need IV fluids? Who will CLEAN THIS MESS UP?

Of course, it wouldn't be a Blow-lympics without a mascot, so this year, our mascot, named by day care children in South Platte, North Dakota, is called: Hugh (pronounced: huuuuuuuuuuuuueeeeew!!!!). To order, your very own Hugh doll, mug, hat, t-shirt, rain gear, thermal mug, sticker, barfy wipes, or barf bag, just send us a roll of paper towels and some bleach wipes and we'll trade you. Kids just LOVE Hugh!

It wouldn't BE a Blow-lympics without the talented and selfless athletes who've spent years carelessly blowing chunks wherever they see fit, regardless of the time of day, and certainly without any regard to who might accidentally step in it barefoot this morning just after they woke up.

These sleek felines train by eating any plant with some sort of frond, any bug, gnat, moth, mouse, flying squirrel, snake, bird or electrical cord, then blowing it back out as soon as possible, and hopefully with some decorative semi-digested food bits in it just to add some sparkle! They also practice speed-gulping dry food, to give them a powerful, rejective purge from their shocked and super-sated system. Their motto: "It should look as good going in as it does coming out"

So act now! Buy your tickets today and you'll have a front row seat to witness the rapture of each rupture, smell the aroma of freshly "minted" mounds, play leap-barf as you try to outstep your opponent and not get a shoe-full of cack! Great for the whole family!

Note: The 2008 Cat Barf Blow-lympics is not responsible for lost or ruined articles or anything else, for that matter.