100% Awful

I'm starting to realize I'm not the evil bitch I thought I was. Over the past few years since I've been volunteering, I've frequently had some, err, "moments of tension" with one of the ladies who runs the organization. I've been told I'm the only person who has ever made her cry, due to being frustrated or angry in dealing with me, but on the other hand, I'm at my wits end because there's little planning for the design projects I do, little time to do them in and the worst-barely any communication regarding design direction. There are also edits upon edits-most of them could have been shaved down to just one or two with some forethought.

As any graphic designer will tell you, you only get as good as you give (direction). I can't read anyone's mind, though I do try often enough. If my clients don't like what they get, they can point the blame partly at themselves. This is never understood for some reason.

Needless to say, considering I'm doing this for FREE, I can't even write off the hours I volunteer doing design work; it only leaves me with the goal of doing a good job, but that's based on my own subjective measure. I also get to a point of doing endless revisions where I get pissed off. so there! I'm human.

Apparently, I'm not allowed to show emotion...

UPDATE: While I'm writing this entry, I get an email about the Holiday Card I just designed. In so many words...do the whole thing over again, I don't like it. Well, I didn't get any direction other than; "use this text and use this photo"...yeah...I think I'm to a point where it's a waste of time. I'm really tired of banging my head against a wall and I didn't even get to make my point:

I spoke with someone who's known said person-I-butt-heads-with and she surprised me by saying some not too flattering things about this person's management style, or lack thereof. Words like: Passive-aggressive came up, as well as: rigid. It make me realize that it's a two way street and it wasn't all my fault. Here I was feeling guilty and beating myself up for being an awful person. Okay, I can be awful, but I'm not like 100% awful!

Huh.

So here I sit, pissed off and trying to figure out what to say in reply to the "I hope I don't offend you" email. I feel like telling her to go stuff it and "HAPPY HOLIDAYS" to you, too.

Oh..and all I really want to do is HELP SAVE CATS LIVES and make their lives better. Am I doing that? Not hardly.