What Could Have Been

Yesterday morning, Tiger's caretaker was doing her usual routine, checking on the cats, getting them fed. It was obvious within a moment after she entered the room, that something was very wrong. Tiger laid motionless. Her caretaker's heart sank. Tiger was dead.

I was notified of Tiger's passing and it broke my heart. I don't have the details of what happened or how she passed away, only that she was gone. She had an upper respiratory infection, but she recently had a dental. I just don't know more than that. She'll never make the journey to Connecticut to be here with all of us. She'll never be re-named or have a home of her own. She died in foster care after being rescued out of a Kill Shelter...the irony of her passing is not lost...neither is the tragedy.

I've been dragging my feet about releasing this news. No one likes bad news, especially this kind. No one likes to think of what could have been and what will now, never come to be.

It was a very difficult day for me because my own cat, Bob is also struggling, vomiting, not wanting to eat. I try not to be superstitious, but Tiger is the second orange cat to pass this month. The first was Connie's baby, Big O. I don't want to think that orange cats passing won't stop unless there's a third. Maybe I should dye Bob's fur-what little he has left of it, green?

I'm sorry to be a downer, but something else is going on that I'm not even obliged to talk about, but it has to do with another rescue gone wrong that I'm trying to make right. It's clear to me now how very difficult doing rescue is on the heart. I wish it was all joy and happy tales. I have to hope that there will be good news to balance the bad, to give me a reason to keep going. Right now I'm so very sad and so very sorry that Tiger is gone. There is little else I can think about right now. I wish I could have held her and cried because she had found a home and I would miss her, not because she has passed away.

Rest in Peace, sweet Tiger. Fly free.