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On My Watch...Another Senseless Loss.

We didn't make it happen for these kittens. Now they are gone. Lost to us forever. They only knew life in a cage with newspaper for a bed. They never knew the comfort of a soft blanket or the loving gift of a forever home.
I couldn't act fast enough to help these kittens. They started to get sick so they were euthanized. HCC&C has no ability to deal with sick animals so they get put down.

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It is my fault they died. I was dragging my feet, hoping a bigger rescue group could have taken them in because I am full up and have no funds. I can make every excuse I want to, but in the end, the kittens lost out. I can't tell you how bad I felt, because the call I originally planned to make was to tell the Kennel Master to pull the kittens and that I HAD worked out a way to rescue them!!! I was all ready to go. Everything was in place. I stupidly thought I had today to get it worked out and I was wrong.

It's one thing to take the wrong exit off the highway-usually no one dies is you mess up. I know it's not my responsibility to rescue every kitten from Henry who needs it, but it doesn't stop my from trying! In fact, a Mama and her two newborns were also put down. I could not help them, either.

I can't bear this. It is so heartbreaking. When I spoke to Robin, the Kennel Master, I could hear the pain in her voice. She had to make the choice to kill these creatures and I know she did not take that decision lightly. I wish I could help her so she never has to make this choice again. I offered to help the next litter she gets and I told her some good news about the cats I've already rescued from her-to soften the blow of the cruel part of her job. As much as it is easy to hate someone for doing this as a job-we have to remember she tries so very hard to save them, but like me, her hands are tied as to how much just one person can do.

The tears that fall down my cheek, as I write this, are dedicated to the four little kittens, above. They mattered to me, and to so many of you. Their life was not for nothing. Though they are gone, we memorialize them here and pay them our respects and send them our love. I hope they look down on me from the Rainbow Bridge and find a way to forgive me for messing it up for them. I am so very sorry.

Comments

I can't imagine how you feel knowing you had rescue but was just a little too late. :( *HUGS*

I am crying with you for these precious babies.

oh GOD.........whyyyyy

my tears won't stop. I have a calico and that little one especially won my life for several reasons I can't talk about here or I will cry more

Hey, you can't take the rap on this. You do way more for these guys than 500 other "normal" people combined, but every once in a while it's still not going to be enough. None of us are superhuman. We've gotta keep our chins up and our heads down and keep the focus on saving the ones we can. Be very proud, you are doing awesome work!

This is the mission you chose. The challenge you chose. You know there are more kittens than you can handle and this had to happen sometime.
But you picked the challenge.
So cry your heart out.
And then open your file of photos and look at the faces of all the animals who would have met the same fate if you had not chosen this work. There are a lot of them. They all put their trust in you and in return they received health, happiness, life, love.
Then get some sleep, knowing you are doing an immense amount of good.
Tomorrow there will be new opportunities to help.

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