Part 2 of 2. Read part 1 HERE.

An hour later Dr Larry came into the waiting room to escort me into the back to look at the x-rays. Before he could even point them out, I saw them. Petunia has a mass of stones inside her. One looked fairly large. While we could try a diet change to acidify her urine and dissolve the stones, the most humane thing to do is to surgically remove them as soon as possible. The diet change would take months and it might not work depending on what kind of stones she has. It must be incredibly painful, yet Petunia never acted like she was in pain. She always was ready for a pet or snuggle. She never licked at herself or squatted and left small pools of bloody urine, but she was very sick.

Dr. Larry asked me what I wanted to do-do the surgery or wait? He told me he'd do whatever needed to help, but all I could do was cry. I asked him the cost of the surgery and he told me it would be about $1500.00. He does these surgeries all the time (which is fodder for another post because WHY are so many animals getting stones in the first place?). Normally I wouldn't bat an eye and just say let's do it, but this time I was lost and scared. I HAD TO MAKE THIS HAPPEN and by God I would no matter what.

Bladder stones. Lots of them.

Dr. Larry patted me on the back and said not to cry. I didn't have the nuts to beg for a big discount. I had to be a grown up and figure it out. I would find a way, but some times it's just tough to struggle and struggle, then feel like you're starting to make positive changes, then WHAM!, another big bill. I know I'm not the only one who feels like that, but it's hard to keep your head up some times.

I told Dr. Larry that I needed some time to gather my thoughts. As I drove home, I flashed back over the decade of peeing issues we've dealt with. I was fed up. I can't list how many things were ruined by her because there were so many. I was sick and tired of trying to find a way to get the cycle to stop. I thought about how many times I wished Petunia would die so the rest of us could live in peace. I know it's wrong to think that way but that's how far I'd been pushed. But all that ill-will vanished, quickly replaced with shame when I looked over to Petunia as she sat in her carrier on the passenger seat. I stuck my index finger into one of the holes on the side so I could touch her face. She rubbed her cheek against my finger a few times, desperate for some love. I realized that Petunia must have been in pain for YEARS and even through all of that she still loved me. How could I be so heartless to her in return?

A few minutes after we got home I called Dr Larry's office and made the appointment for Petunia's surgery. There would be no waiting on this. It had gone on far too long already.

©2015 Robin AF Olson. Petunia was in so much pain and desperate to drain her bladder she ends up urinating on her own mother, who is in the spot where Petunia has been peeing the past few weeks.

Though I arrogantly thought we’d checked Petunia for everything last year, we hadn’t and she’s been suffering in silence, been called names and shunned because of her behavior. All it made me want to do was hold her and tell her how sorry I was for being such a moron. I recalled that when Petunia was very young she had struvite crystals in her bladder. We treated them with a special diet and within a year we started transitioning our cats off kibble, to canned food without grains, and finally to a raw diet. It never occurred to me that she could even GET stones again since she gets appropriate nutrition. It’s clear this may have been going on far before the transition and is only getting to a point of severity where we’re noticing it.

I am so ashamed. The only thing I can do to make it better is to get this surgery done ASAP and help Petunia get on the road to recovery. Perhaps she’ll never need to be on anti-anxiety medication but it’s also possible that her anxiety is the root cause. There’s something called FLUTD (Feline Urinary Tract Disease) that could be part of the problem and it's also VERY LIKELY related to a whole-host of issues Petunia may have called Pandora Syndrome.

Pandora Syndrome can be a combination of many factors—genetics, environment, stress and diet. The result can be IBD, dermatitis, cystitis and more. Once I read this article, I realized that because this might have genetic aspect we may never be able to “cure” Petunia entirely. Then the light bulb moment: Petunia’s mother Gracie must ALSO have it! It would answer the question as to why we have never found a treatment for Gracie’s mysterious miliary dermatitis.

©2013 Robin AF Olson. Gracie at one of her MANY vet visits.

I spent two years searching for and trying treatments on Gracie. I sought out different specialists, did tests and biopsies. Gracie's a lot like her daughter and tends to be high strung. We've been working with her every day and over the past year Gracie's become less and less fearful, but now is more clingy and demanding. Her skin is improving slightly. We got her to stop vomiting clumps of fur every day and she no longer “barbers” her fur. She needs more work to help her mojo return, but I think the fog is lifting off these mysteries. I'm not happy about what might be going on because it means these cats are just not able to handle the stress they feel and how to reduce that will continue to be one of the biggest challenges of my life.

While I have failed these cats, I also feel hopeful that we may finally have some light at the end of the tunnel. I know that someone out there will read this and will say “hey, that’s my cat!” too. Perhaps they’ll take their cat to the vet and discover there was more going on than imagined. Perhaps it will save a cat from being given up or let outside to fend for itself. I can only hope that baring my soul will help others, because I really hate myself right now.

So, to all of you who feel like they’re suffering with inappropriate elimination problems with their own cats, don’t make the same mistake I did. Even if you already took your cat to the vet and they found nothing, KEEP SEARCHING if you can't solve the problem. Do research online, talk to your friends who have cats, try to see the world through your cat's eyes and if you feel they are subjected to a lot of stress, there's a big clue to how to help them feel better.

Get your cat vetted again, if needed, or get a second opinion. Yes, it may be costly, but this is YOUR cat, YOUR responsibility. Your cat may be in a lot of pain and I can promise that your cat is not trying to get revenge or ruin your life. They’re not “BAD” cats. They’re communicating in the only language they know and it’s up to us to be better at translating their message.

I’m so sorry, Petunia, but I will make it right. I promise.

Your surgery is tomorrow.

©2013 Robin AF Olson. Petunia suffered in silence for a long time, but I truly think I've learned an important lesson.

Part 1 of 2

Four years ago I wrote about my cat Petunia. It was a guilt-ridden confession about how I’d missed the signals that she wasn’t just a high-strung, territory-aggressive cat who urinated all over my house. Something else was causing her issues. I foolishly thought I discovered the root cause of her behavioral problems so I stopped looking for a health issue as the trigger. Up until that point I’d never given Petunia a fair shake because she drove me crazy, ruining everything in her path. She was urinating, marking and defecating everywhere. [If you want to read this post it’s HERE].

I thought her issues were due to having impacted anal glands and that her bad scent caused some of my other cats to go after her. She’d flip out, then I’d find something soiled. The cats never fought. They just charged her, but it was enough stress to cause her to inappropriately eliminate.

Once her glands were cleaned the attacks slowed, but never really stopped. Petunia saw Dr Larry, had her teeth cleaned and had some blood work done as recently as last summer. I was under the impression she was in good health and that her behavior issues were genetic and/or stress-based. I was very wrong.

When Petunia was young she had Struvite crystals in her urine. I knew this because her urine was pink, indicating blood. When we tested it we knew she had crystals so the simple answer was to feed her a prescription diet that would acidify her urine, dissolving the crystals (something I would never feed now).

©2011 Robin AF Olson. Petunia in a long-ago relaxed moment.

Petunia resolved her peeing issues for a time, but then I did more rescue and our cat-population began to increase. With each cat we adopted, Petunia lost a little bit more of her territory. First it was just that she stopped coming upstairs to bed. In a way I was relieved because it also meant I stopped finding urine on my 80-year old bedroom furniture.

But then her space, got even smaller. Though she stopped peeing on the banquette cushions in the kitchen (I finally had to remove them because they were so destroyed), she rarely ever entered the space to look out the window at the birds who were dancing around the feeders hung over the deck. The other cats enjoyed the view and one or two marked in this area most likely due to her marking first. Petunia made a huge mess and having that stop was yet another relief.

©2012 Robin AF Olson. The best spot in the house is also the bone of contention between the cats over who rules it.

With her space dwindling down to the living room, mostly all points behind the sofa, we knew we had to do more to help her. We’d tried all along, but with 10 cats it’s very difficult to single one out and only play with that cat and only spend time with that cat. The others were curious if we gave her attention; some took over play time, some attacked Petunia if we tried to play with her.

I tearfully confessed to one of my friends that I needed help. I had re-visit the idea of re-homing Petunia. It wasn’t fair to her, but with her issues and age, it would be VERY difficult to find a new family who was willing to believe that she wouldn’t soil their home, too.

©2010 Robin AF Olson. Before we added Blitzen, Mabel and DOOD, Gracie and Petunia often snuggled in our bedroom. They no longer feel safe doing that.

There also was the complication that Petunia’s mother, Gracie lives here and from time to time Petunia still goes to her mother for comfort, so how am I to find a home for a 14-year old and a 12-year old cat?

I was certain this was the answer, but just as much sure that I’d never find a home for both cats. Gracie has an incurable skin condition.

I had to find a solution here, so it was back to the drawing board.

----------------

Over the past year Petunia earned the nickname: PEE-tunia because she began peeing on the SOFA. No matter what we did she kept doing it until I finally got a static mat and that stopped the behavior. Well, really it just encouraged her to pee somewhere else, but it was on a cat bed I could cover with a wee-wee pad and that was something I could deal with.

Sam and I decided to make a concentrated effort to re-catify our living room, to help Petunia find her confidence, which Jackson Galaxy refers to as “cat mojo” (a term I quite like). I realized that with the addition of Blitzen, DOOD and Mabel into our family came the reduction in Petunia’s living space. I hadn’t seen Petunia come upstairs to bed in years. Her living area was getting smaller and smaller to just the few feet behind the sofa. She was too fearful to go far because the others would charge at her. We HAD to find a solution.

©2015 Robin AF Olson. BEFORE: Look for the towel to see the most prized spot in the house. There's a heated pad under the towel and it's next to the sunniest window in the house. SO how could we provide more optimal locations for more cats to enjoy this area? Also the cat trees on either side of the towel are perfect for sneak attacks so they had to be moved.

One night a few weeks ago we ripped apart the areas where the cats hang out the most. We moved cat trees, did a deep cleaning and set up one of our web cams to monitor the area when we weren’t around. We hoped we’d find out what was causing Petunia to avoid the litter pan when there were a few with in feet of where she was sleeping.

©2015 Robin AF Olson. You can see the static mat on the sofa where Petunia used to urinate. We added a litter pan right near the heated cat carrier where Petunia often hid but we don't believe she ever used it. The cat trees are in front of the favorite window. There aren't any where the ficus tree is because we had a cat tree there that went unused. It was moved to the favorite window area to increase vertical space.

Every day we patrolled the area, particularly behind the sofa. This is the only place where Petunia pees-and when she does it’s A LOT of urine and it really smells bad. I should have known by that smell that something was wrong, but no alarm bells went off. I just grumbled, cleaned it up and looked around to see if I should move a litter pan closer or make another change that would help Petunia feel safer.

©2015 Robin AF Olson. AFTER: The day after re-arranging the space there's a lineup of cats who want to use it. Notice, the three alpha cats are on it while Cricket, a lower cat doesn't get access right now. Petunia is in the cat carrier just off screen.

Sam and I also focused on spending more time talking to, sitting with, petting and grooming Petunia and that helped soothe her to a degree, but she was still anxious around the other cats. It also didn't stop her from defecating on the table just near the sofa.

I decided that after all these years, the last remaining option was to put her on anti-anxiety meds. I thought if she could better handle stress and the cats charging her, she’d stop acting like prey, racing off, which made some of the cats go crazy and chase after her. Poor Petunia would hide on the seat cushion on a chair under a table not far from her “safe zone” every time that happened. It happened so often I was afraid her life would be spent huddled on that chair.

What a terrible life.

©2015 Robin AF Olson. A few days after we moved all the cat beds, I saw this. It was the first time more than one cat was on any of the beds. The far left bed is where Gracie sleeps and when Petunia most often pees (yes, even one time ON Gracie).

It’s hard to describe how hopeless I’ve been feeling. I couldn’t re-home her. It was too late. I blame myself for adding so many cats to our home, but I thought it would be all right. The other cats are fine. It’s just Petunia who is so stressed by them.

Petunia had to see our vet before she was put on any medication. Dr. Larry insisted on doing a full CBC, a stool test and urinalysis before giving her anything. When I got the results my heart sank.

While Petunia’s blood work was “Fantastic” (chalk it up to years of being on a raw diet) and her anal glands were fine as is and did not need to be expressed, her urinalysis was another issue altogether. Her urine had blood in it. Keep in mind that doing urinalysis with a needle (cystocentesis) often causes a small amount of blood in the urine, but she had far more than normal. She also had VERY elevated phosphorous and ammonia levels (remember how BAD her urine smelled?). It was an indicator that Petunia might have stones in her bladder.

©2015 Robin AF Olson. We lower the lights during exams so Petunia will be more relaxed. On this visit it did not help at all.

Last week I took Petunia back to Dr. Larry’s for x-rays that might show us if she had stones. It was a lovely day, lots of bright sunshine, but I was struggling to hold back tears. I knew that if Petunia had stones, it would mean surgery and I asked myself how I was going to make that happen when I’m already struggling. It wasn’t a good feeling. I didn’t have an answer.

What do the x-rays show? Is there any hope for Petunia? Find out in part 2.

As Hurricane Earl churns in the Atlantic, I sit and wait and wonder if it's going to behave and only give the folks here in Connecticut a glancing blow of high winds and torrential rain or if the weather reports will be wrong and Earl will take a devious leap west and blast us with its' Category 2 fury.

I realized that should we ever take a direct hit that I have nowhere to go that would allow cats-and certainly not foster cats that also have ringworm. I couldn't even put them in the car with the healthy cats.

I'd be forced to stay behind.

So Sam and I got up at 6AM. This was not my idea of a good time. No one should get up until at least 9AM and 10AM would be even better. Anyway, we wanted to get to the grocery store and buy some non-perishable items like pudding cups, nuts, chocolate covered raisins. You know-important things that will keep us healthy if we lose power—which happens if you fart too hard around here. We expect the power will go out-which also means, no WATER.

We live in a house where everything is run by electricity-including the pump that goes to our 390' deep well. That means no shower and NO FLUSHING. Not fun. We have those 5 gallon bottles of water and a dispenser. Some of the bottles are empty so we filled them with tap water. Ah ha! Now we will be able to flush, though holding a 40 pound jug of water, aiming over the toilet tank, then hoping you don't miss and dump it all over the floor or miss and get it into the toilet BOWL, which would splatter whatever was currently IN the bowl all over the walls.

Gosh, I hope the power doesn't go out tomorrow. I just don't think there's enough bleach in the world to clean my walls after that.

As I wait to find out if my little house in the woods is going to be decimated by Hurricane Earl, I thought I'd catch you up on a BUNCH of news...in no particular order...

1. HOPE IS OUT OF THE ANIMAL HOSPITAL!

Her leg, HELLO!, is HEALED! She will walk just fine. She beat the infections, but traded them off for a cold. That said she is well enough now to go into foster care. I heard her foster home is terrific and her rescuers, called The Cat Women, should be getting a check from me via Sweetwater Vet Hospital, to cover ALL of HOPE's medical bills! There will be a bit left over and that will go into a fund to help other cats who need vet care.

HOPE has a new name: Ariel. This will mark her new journey. In a very strange coincidence, Ariel's foster mom is none other than Mary Jo-who is the subject of item number 2!

2. BIG, ORANGE MAINE COON IS SAFE!

Big Orange's owner is a senior citizen with dementia who cannot care for her cat and whose (jerkwad) of a son refuses to allow the cat in the house! The poor cat has been attacked by local (equally jerky) kids. Mary Jo (sound familiar?) stepped up to help rescue this big lug. When news got out about his troubles lots of folks chimed in, willing to help. I got the word out to my rescue babes and one of them offered to give him a home. I can't say more than that because the details aren't worked out, but even if not, Big Orange is SAFE. Mary Jo got him today only to find out the (jerkwad of the century) son now wants to get a puppy since the cat is gone. Is there no justice for this cat? Perhaps a wonderful life in a better home will do the trick?

©2010 Mary Jo. Her original poster trying to find help for Big Orange.

3. RINGWORM. WE HAVE A WINNER! (or is that LOSER?)

There aren't enough swear words to cover how I feel about Pattycake getting ringworm. She had it in transport, but only a tiny dot on her ear. I didn't even NOTICE what you see below. Granted the area was shaved after Dr. Larry's Vet Tech, Mighty Lauren found it!

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Fungus Amongus.

And of course, a few days later I felt some "crud" on her brother, Moonpie's ear so he's got it, too. Both cats are in the bathroom for eternity, or another month. Then they will be 5 months old and even harder to find a forever home for. If this is as bad as it gets I will be grateful. If the 4 little kittens in the foster room get it, too...that will be really bad...if my cats get it...well...not good...not good at all.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. They share everything...ugh.

4. Bob has a URI. Spencer has really bad feline acne that I just can't get rid of, Nicky PEED on the floor right in front of us so he's at the Vet getting tests done and poor Gracie's dermatitis just won't go away!

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Bob. No fever but sneezing and coughing. My poor baby!

This is why having TWO cats is nice. If one gets sick, no problem. If both got sick, no problem! When they ALL start to get sick? PROBLEM! Having EIGHT CATS is NOT FOR SOMEONE WITH A WEAK CONSTITUTION-which is WHY I should have TWO CATS!

4. Jasper County Animal Control STILL NEEDS A FEW MORE CATS RESCUED SO THEY WON'T HAVE TO PUT ANY KITTIES DOWN. BUT...

Thanks to Barb Lowe at Winging Cat Rescue and two other rescue groups, five cats from Jasper were saved, along with three others from Douglas and eight by our friend Joan Flores in TN, along with six from Heard County and three more who were supposedly rescued but their rescue DUMPED THEM!!!!!...so they were RE-RESCUED!

©2010 Jasper Co. Animal Control. This is Frances.

That's 25 MORE CATS SAVED!!!

©2010 Jasper Co. Animal Control. This is Maybelline.

©2010 Jasper Co. Animal Control. This is Saber. Yay Saber!

Yes, there's a price for rescuing all these cats. Barb needs Scotch and a vacation somewhere quiet AND she needs $400.00 to cover transport. Let's show her how we can help her money woes disappear and thank her for all her hard work, saving these babies!

5. My little kittens are pushing three pounds a piece, except for Cinnie-Minnie who is just a tiny little thing.

Oh, and they're super cute, but I don't get to spend nearly enough time with them!

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. From left to right: Yodel, Sugar Pie, Honey B. and Cinnamon.

6. Little Maria WILL be having her surgery next week! Stay tuned for LOTS MORE NEWS ABOUT THIS BIG EVENT FOR A LITTLE KITTY!

That is if my power doesn't go out tomorrow...and Earl keeps his distance.

This was Bobbi a month ago. Stuck in a cage on death row, covered with fleas and being declawed, had no way to even scratch herself. Because she was such a sweet baby, the Kennel Master, Robin, urged our friend Betsy to get the word out on this kitty before it was too late. Fortunately, Animals in Distress in Wilton, CT offered to take her once I could arrange for her vetting and quarantine in Georgia and once our friends, Izzy & Mark could transport her north.

©2010 Henry Co. Care & Control.

Bobbi arrived two weeks ago and has been enjoying the quiet life in our friend, Connie's home. Soon, Bobbi will be moved over to the Shelter, where she will live until she's adopted. There's never a risk of her being euthanized due to space issues, but...adoptions are down— the lowest point anyone can remember. We simply MUST get together to get the word out for Bobbi, once again.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Bobbi, safe and sound and doing just great in foster care!

This gorgeous creature is safe, but she STILL needs a forever home—ideally somewhere in Connecticut, but if we found a great home, I know we could arrange transport.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson.

Bobbi's only 1-2 years old. She's very mellow and sweet. She has impeccable litter box manners and loves to sleep right next to you or even on your pillow, if you don't mind! She is declawed-ALL FOUR PAWS, is NEGATIVE for FIV/Feline Leukemia, is up to date on her shots.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson.

Bobbi would be a great companion to pretty much any one or any family. We think she gets along with other cats, but won't know for certain until she's at the shelter.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson.

Because she was badly infested with fleas, she still is a bit itchy and has some scabs which we feel should resolve. In the meantime, please give her a scratch if you meet her! She really likes that.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson.

And don't forget, Bobbi is a true Manx! With a very cute butt, if I do say so, myself! She also has adorable black spots on her back foot, just like my boy, Spencer!

If you'd like to know more about how to adopt Bobbi, just contact Animals in Distress or visit Bobbi's Petfinder page OR, you can always email me: info@coveredincathair.com

Animals in Distress also has 12 OTHER kitties who have been waiting months and months to find a Forever Home. They have some very lovely cats at their shelter, even a Siamese! If you can adopt one of these babies, you'd really be helping them to help MORE kitties! Spread the word!

We got this girl rescued. Now let's find her a GREAT HOME!

Wasn't that a nice blog post? Oh well...nevermind...just as this was about to go to press...

BOBBI JUST GOT ADOPTED!!!!!!

When any of my cats are sick, I get stressed out. I don't feel better until I know THEY are feeling better. Imagine knowing your cat is not well for 1 year and 8 months (and counting). It's stressful for me. It's more stressful for my poor cat, Gracie.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Gracie (left) with daughter, Petunia (right)

Since February, I've been treating Gracie's miliary dermatitis homeopathically. It was starting to show signs of improving, but...in the middle of the treatment, I messed around with their food a bit and that might have caused Gracie's condition to worsen, so I went back to her very plain, raw diet.

Was the damage done? Was it too late? Gracie had a terrible self-mutilation on the inside of her right leg. I treated it and she seemed to be getting better, but today, after noticing her lose her appetite for a few days, I knew something was wrong. I thought her anal glands were impacted and I imagined it would make for a humorous blog post. Dr. Larry checked Gracie out today and her anal glands were fine, she had no fever, but had lost 7 ounces-which in a short period of time, is a lot of weight. Now I imagined writing something more sobering.

Then we looked at Gracie's abdomen. I don't think I should post a clear photo of it because it was "that bad." She had not only hurt the inside of her right leg (which I just checked a few days ago!), but she was starting on her left. On top of that Dr. Larry said she is getting an infection so there was no choice but to put her on antibiotics, which trashed the homeopathic treatments she was getting.

We discussed the “S-word”...STEROIDS and I was very close to just saying; “YES! DO IT.” I've read too many BAD things about steroids to take a chance with them even if I know it will help Gracie for the short term. The steroids would effect Gracie's skin and her immune system. To give her antibiotics and steroids together? I just couldn't open her up to even more problems down the road.

My poor sweetie.

Gracie's still with Dr. Larry. Super-Deb is giving her a soothing bath (no steroids!!) and they're going to shoot an x-ray to make sure Gracie isn't so full of fur that she's not eating as a result (or keeping her food down as of this morning)

I'm going to try two more things, then I may fall onto the steroid sword and give that to Gracie as a last resort.

1. We're going to try Allerderm® Spot-On to soothe Gracie's skin.

2. Treat Gracie's anxiety homeopathically, instead of trying to treat Gracie's skin condition. If Gracie stops this OCD-ish behavior and feels better, maybe her skin will improve?

I keep wanting to just give up, but I look at Gracie's sweet face. She's such a kind cat. Truly would never hurt anyone. She is depending on me and I can't and won't let her down. I just wish she knew that.

Understanding what results to expect when utilizing Homeopathy, is definitely something I'm learning. It's different from seeing Dr. Larry. With him, I would expect him to prescribe a shot or pill, etc., then within a specific amount of time, I'd expect results. I'd also end up effecting Gracie in ways none of us would intend. For instance, if I'd caved in and told Dr. Larry to give her steroids, she's be looking very nice right now, but internally, I would have done damage to her that might not manifest right away. They call steroids “the silver bullet” for a good reason. They work great for lots of reasons, but there's a price to pay, which includes potentially causing a whole slew of immune related problems and worse, which end up shortening the life span of the cat. For a geriatric cat in poor health, steroids can give them comfort and help them find their appetite during their final days. In a young cat, I would avoid it if at all possible. Each situation is different and you need to discuss using steroids on your cat with your Vet.

I just got back from visiting Dr. Hermans. We had a good conversation, then she examined Gracie. Firstly, Gracie's nasty self-mutilation IS HEALING NICELY! I was only able to apply some calendula based first aid cream to her twice, along with some bitter apple around the site of the injury. Since she was healing with little help from me, that's actually a good sign that she's STOPPED chewing on herself.

We also discussed diet. Gracie may not be tolerating the food I changed the cats over to. They all go crazy eating it, but Gracie wants it too and she can't have it so she won't eat or she'll wait and try to get some scraps off another plate. This doesn't work since there usually are NO scraps left. Now I've been given the OK to open up the choices of food I give her, which should help inspire her to eat more consistently. Juggling what to feed 8 cats is a pain in the ass. Dr. H said there is “no such thing as feeding all cats in a multi-cat household, the same food.” It's a “Holy Grail” that can't be reached if your cats are of such varying ages and from different backgrounds. Gee, I didn't have enough to feel bad about! Ugh.

So back to the food drawing board. Hopefully, I will get this figured out. The math involved in all of this “how many ozs of food/how many lbs of cat” is driving me nuts. We have a bit over 100 lbs of cat, but each one gets a different amount of food. I can't feed them all the same amount because it's too costly and I don't want the cats to get fat.

We spoke, again, about re-homing Gracie. Dr. Larry feels it's time for me to do that and Dr. H says, “No. Not right now.” The problem here is my expectations, more than anything else. I'm used to a quick fix. Homeopathy doesn't work quickly-espeically for something like dermatitis. It's going to be up and down over a long period of time. There are no guarantees, either. This may not work, but we haven't given it long enough and Dr. H does see signs that Gracie IS responding to treatment. If she was in bad shape, she'd have kept on chewing her leg. She may have had a flare up. Hard to say. I can't imagine finding a home for her with no other cats or dogs, where the new owner would not give her steroids for her skin or who would feed raw and follow her health needs. It's just not going to happen. Crossing fingers: I will get her back in good shape one day and prove Dr. Larry wrong. Gracie can stay here and be happy AND healthy!

Bottom line is that I need to give Gracie more alone time-which I've been doing the past few nights and we're going to adjust the treatment she's getting and give that to her more often and she how she does. She won't be getting acupuncture just yet. Apparently it does not go well with Homeopathy! We can only do one thing at a time. Who knew?

Thank you, everyone, for your helpful suggestions. I've done so much for Gracie, some times I forget what's gone on.

To answer some of your comments-

Gracie IS on a Bach Flower Essence combo and has been on it for a few months now.

Last night when I saw her injury, it looked BETTER than it had at the Vet's office. She also relaxed the second I put the first aid salve with Calendula (rec'd by my homeopathic Vet) on it. We had a very nice quiet snuggle last night and for the first time in a very long time, I opened up the foster room and let her hang out in there. She seemed to enjoy herself and was relaxed and purring (and drooling on me).

As for fostering, I need to keep doing it. I need to do it because it keeps a smile on my face when I battle depression every day and I need to do it because I can't face knowing all those kittens are being put down, when I have space in my house and know how to care for them...BUT Gracie's well being is very important-of course.

Also, I haven't had foster here since March and as it looks right now, I won't be getting any any time soon. I'm going to talk to my Vets about this. The theory for me is-if she was OK with them before, she should be OK with them again, but...that is a guess.

Lastly, I agree that with homeopathy, what is occurring now could be a GOOD sign and a sign that the worst of it is about to be over and the true healing can begin. I won't know this, of course, until a lot more time has passed and I can look back and either smack myself in the head for waiting to bring out the big guns (steroids) or jump for joy that this difficult time was just the harbinger of better ones yet to come and that I've finally found the answer to help Gracie recover.

...crossing fingers....time to go smooch Gracie.

18 months.

That's how long I've been trying to find a cure for Gracie's dermatitis. I am so stressed out from all the tests, treatments, baths, specialists NOT curing her problem! I know it stresses HER out and that stresses me out, too

I'd planned on writing a post about taking Gracie to visit a homeopathic Vet. About how you need to have a different mindset about expectations of results. That it will take time.

If you factor in that Gracie had LOTS of different meds for a year, then it will take a very long time for them to work out of her system. She's only had homeopathic treatments since January. She's on a very restricted raw diet. I have to be PATIENT.

Two weeks ago, I thought that FINALLY Gracie was starting to improve. She had chewed the fur off her belly, but it was starting to grow back. Instead of an armor of scabs, the size and spacing of the scabs was much improved.

Then I tweaked her diet and she got a new treatment. I don't know which did it, but something really effected her badly. I noticed her skin got worse, so I put her back on her old diet. Today, she went to her "western" vet, Dr Larry, because I thought she had an injury to her eye.

Her eye was fine, but when we flipped her over to see how her belly was, this was what we saw.

Gracie did this to herself. It's from over-grooming. At the left is her belly and the injury goes inside her left rear leg.

It was very difficult NOT to cry when I saw this. I was in such a state of shock, I didn't know what to say. I was ashamed that I missed this horrific and painful injury and all I wanted to do was give her a big fat shot of steroids, which I KNOW would make her feel better, but which, in the long run will kill her.

What makes matters worse was that I chose not to do anything for her. Her homeopathic Vet would not agree to give Gracie ANYTHING right now-espeically steroids or antibiotics, which would be the next steps. We were able to reach Dr. Hermans, who quickly re-arranged her schedule so that she could see Gracie in a few days and she also told me some things I could do for her to keep Gracie comfortable until her appointment.

Dr. Larry, bless him, with the most open mind of any doctor in the universe, suddenly told me that he felt that I should get Gracie in to get acupuncture done because he'd seen amazing results. Perhaps it would help to calm her down and break her OCD-ish cycle of over grooming?

Instead of pushing me to use "his method" of treatment, he respected Dr Hermans wishes (and mine) and he gave me good suggestions. Gracie is going to get acupuncture in early June, or sooner if they can fit me in.

Dr. Larry says a home for Gracie by herself is the ultimate answer, but I reminded him that she was FINE for years in this same house, with the crazy foster cats. I hope that if she was all right once, she can return to good health again one day. Right now I want to crawl into a hole and hide. I feel terrible for my baby girl. Just terrible. I need a magic wand so I can fix her up and help her be happy again. I can't be a bad cat-mama. I just can't.

Unfortunately, it looks like in this regard, I already am. If I could find Gracie a great home (along with her daughter, Petunia), I would do it. But who would want a cat with a known medical condition? I can't promise it would go away. This is so frustrating and exhausting.

Please, please, please. Let me find the cure for my cat! I'm running out of options.

I got Gracie and Bob to see Dr. Larry today. Bob was due for his blood test re-check. This will tell me if his ALT is on the way DOWN and his liver function is improving. Also, it will tell me if his kidneys are still OK after the "metacam incident."

My poor Gracie. She's biting the fur off her hind end and on her back. Every other day, she vomits up the small clumps of fur. Either she is SO stressed that she's self injuring or she is SO uncomfortable she is biting off her fur in frustration from being itchy. I can't tell. What I can tell you is that Gracie will now be on Amitriptyline, an anti-depressant. The hope here is to help her to relax. If the stress goes away, maybe she will not pick at herself and her skin will clear up. Dr. Larry gave her a shot of Vetalog to keep her comfortable. She hasn't had a steroid in 10 months so I thought it would be safe. It's the only thing that clears up the dermatitis. That way she will stop itching and biting herself!

The worst news is not really news. Dr. Larry said that Gracie, in a home with no other animals, would probably resolve her issues and be fine. I know she's a nervous nelly and I do my best to give her attention, but with 6 other cats, that's tough to do. In my heart, I agree. Gracie (and Petunia) would be happier in a home together with no other pets. Finding a home for a 6 and 9 yr old cat, not so easy to do-certainly not one that would have to be a FANTASTIC owner. I'd HAVE to do a home visit and deeper background check before I'd let them go, but the idea of seeing them leave that really kills me. I also feel like a failure.

It's not over yet. I'm going to keep trying to help Gracie feel better here. We'll try the meds for two months and see how she does. Maybe she just needs help coping for awhile and once she has some success she can go off the meds and stay here!

So with all that swirling around in my head, I'm trying to coordinate another transport of four kittens to CT from down south. It's been nutty and I seem to write an email, just as another arrives. Questions are many. Answers are hard to come by. I will be happy when this is wrapped up.

Then I get home from the Vet. No sooner than I get here, my Intern calls me into the kitchen. There's an injured hawk in a tree outside the house! Oh geez...we have a high wind advisory today, no wonder the hawk is hurt! So, for another few hours I was on the phone with our ACO, Carolee, someone from Wildlife in Crisis, a wildlife "guy" who comes to get the nutty animals out of your attic and such, and a raptor rehabilitator named Darlene, who was super nice and helpful.

This little Broad Winged Hawk had some sort of eye injury. According to Darlene it looks to be an OLD injury (because it's dry). She said he would learn to adapt and shouldn't just perish from the injury, though I swear I think my intern wanted to climb a tree to get the hawk so we could get it to the Vet! I put some "oops it expired" pork on the deck and some ground beef, hoping he'd come eat, but no luck. After a few hours of hanging around, he left.

I'm trying not to write that I'll "keep an eye peeled" looking for him, but I will keep an "eye out" for him...okay, I'll look out the window to see if he's in the yard. If I find him on the ground, I know how to capture him and get him some help. Meanwhile, where DID MY DAY GO? I have gotten nothing done. Wait, I'm finishing this...okay I got one thing done. Crap. I need more time, but I need a nap, first.

It was a crazy day! I'm emotionally drained and I didn't even tell you about the 3-day long fight Sam and I had, so I have a good excuse to rest now, and eat a cookie. I need a cookie.

Malibu, Nova and Felixia are back at ANC HQ waiting to find their forever homes. Fe is doing much better now that she's had a good course of antibiotics and is beginning to put on some weight. Nova, we hope, will be adopted soon. Malibu has continued to come out of his shell and is a very loving kitty. He's getting rather big and we're a bit worried we won't find him a home soon. Seems the younger kittens go first. Isn't that often the case?

As for my own cats, poor Gracie STILL battles miliary dermatitis. Her flare ups are still bad, still constant. She's still getting bi monthly shots and occasional baths (but I should give her more). It's been almost a year since this started and I have little hope we will ever find a cure for her. It's very sad. I fear my last options are either to put her on steroids, which I've avoided at all cost, or try to re-home her, which would make me feel like a failure. She may be unhappy with all the other cats here, but she was fine for years, then suddenly broke out. My thought is that it can't be the other cats bothering her, then...but...then what is causing her allergic reactions?

Bob has been doing fairly well, though I'm starting to worry about him He's not eating as well as he did...is it his sense of smell starting to go? He's vomited a small amount of water the past two mornings. I fear pancreatitis flare ups with him!

Nicky still has problems being constipated and he seems a bit down. We've been giving him stool softeners, but not enough. Gotta ramp up on that. I think this cat has a funny metabolism. First he would get urinary blockages up from his food and that meant lots of ER trips. He's not blocked any more, but now his colon is getting packed up. I can't figure out what is the culprit. The other cats don't suffer with this problem-even Nicky's own sister.

All the other buggers are doing fine. Some times I forget they're all getting older. How is it that Nick and Nora are 9 now? Spencer is about 7 and no one knows how old Bob is, but it's easily over 10. Where did the time go?

The foster kittens and Cali, the mama are doing better this morning. Everyone ate their breakfast and started to play right away. No litter pan accidents, thank goodness and their overall condition seems much improved.

No names picked out for the kittens yet. Will work on that today. Thanks for all the suggestions!