Bob Dole

Since my cat, Bob was diagnosed with having a 5cm mass on his right liver lobe, I've been feeling very confused about what to do next. I keep asking myself, “what is best for Bob?” What would HE want? What is humane to DO to him? Is it worth carving him open to give him more time? If so, how much time? A month? A year?

©2006 Robin A.F. Olson. 2006. Just after Bob came to live with me.

Bob means the world to me. He's the Ambassador-the head “greeter” when I walk in the door. He's the boss. He slaps around the underlings. He's an old orange Tom with crystal green eyes. His purr has a musical, squeaky, quirky quality to it and he's quick to get that motor running. He loves everyone he meets and everyone loves him.

I don't know how old Bob is. My Mother, the intrepid photographer who documented every second of our lives, had photos of him that went back to 1999. I know he was an adult when he first showed up as a stray, at my Mother's back door. She always left out food for any hungry cat.

Bob, we guess, is around 14 or 15.

Bob has FIV+. I just re-verified it using a Western Blot test. There is no way I'd mess with wondering if Bob's previous snap test was a false positive when his health is in such jeopardy.

That said. Bob eats ravenously, though he is losing weight. We've checked his thyroid and that is working fine. Bob still grooms himself and continues to have good litter box manners. He even plays with little Blitzen from time to time.

According to the ultrasound, most of Bob's internal organs are operating normally and within limits. I see some very big words that I tried to look up...they basically say “cancer”...maybe. It reads: “There is a nodular cluster in the area of the mesenteric lymph nodes which represents mesenteric lymphadenopathy.” So, does Bob have cancer that has metastasized or is it just an infection brewing or is it from the liver problems?

©2009 Robin A.F. Olson. 2006. Bob, last year.

Thing is, I'm a GRAPHIC DESIGNER. I'm a WRITER! I'm NOT a Vet! I'm a loving mom to lots of cats. I just want to know what to do and no one seems to be able to tell me. They say I have to decide. My options suck.

I met with Dr. Ann Hermans, a homeopathic Vet. Dr. H has been helping me try to cure Gracie's mysterious rash. She's had it over for 2 years. Nothing has really helped, but Dr. H has given me some treatments for her that have soothed her anxiety a GREAT deal and, in turn, helped to calm her skin down and she no longer “barbers” her fur, nor does she vomit those clumps of fur every few days. This is meaningful. Does it translate into they type of care that could support or even help Bob be stronger-a better candidate for surgery? Some people say it's tomfoolery, but I trust Dr. H. She has a degree from Cornell. She knows her nutrition in ways I wish ALL Vets did. I brought Bob up to see her a few days ago and I left feeling hopeful. That with some adjustments to Bob's treatments and nutrition, I would fortify him so he would be more ready for what may come next. Would we cure his liver mass this way. No. But there is a respect for how the body heals itself without beating it up by pushing drugs into it that cause bad side effects.

I wanted to leave it at that. Take a few weeks. See how Bob does. See if we can put some weight back on him. But last night, I started to worry. I found out that this mass could rupture and Bob would die in a few hours. It could also start to cause fluid to fill up his abdomen. It's also HUGE and we need to remember it's NOT going to get any smaller.

Perhaps the time to act is NOW while Bob is still BOB. Before he starts to slip into a weakened state where I have no options to help him other than give him a peaceful farewell.

BUT...with the liver, you have to do a “wedge” biopsy. This is SURGERY. You can't get a good liver sample using a guided ultrasound needle biopsy. The cat has to be carved open and they get a chunk out. DO they take the entire mass out at that time? Maybe. I don't know. Do they look inside and see what ELSE is going on? Look for more signs of cancer? Yes. Will they potentially see that Bob cannot be saved or helped..that it is too far gone and too severe..that it would be CRUEL to wake him up out of sedation and better to let him die on the table?

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Last week. Bob enjoying catnip pillow.

I can put my foot down about some things. I can tell them that under no circumstances are they to let that cat die on the table, but it's serious, expensive surgery and the recovery has to be considered, as well...and the fact that Christmas is coming and that means Vets and their staff may be tougher to come by during the recovery process. Is it better to wait until after the Holidays or get to it NOW while Bob is at the best place in his health, he can be?

I know so many of you have faced a situation like this. There is no clear cut answer. There is no knowing if what is done will help your cat in any way. There is no way to know if it will significantly shorten the life of your cat, too.

There is just no knowing...and that is a heartache no one should have to bear.

I couldn't sleep last night; that's two nights in a row. How this happened is completely idiotic: I lost my health insurance so I couldn't go to the doctor to renew a prescription that's been keeping my old lady acne at bay. Since my face exploded with breakouts after my 'script ran out, I got some "gentle" acne face cleanser and a "gentle" spot on treatment at the local drug store. It ended up burning my skin and I accidently got some on my eyelids. The next morning after my "accident," my eyes were almost swollen shut. I tried to deal with it on my own, but it got worse, so I HAD to go to the Doctor, after all. Great.

She put me on steroids, a short course. Guess what? I can't sleep. Not even for a minute. So my eyes are puffy, my chin is burned and sleep is a memory. I was told to take Benedryl at night to counteract the effects of the steroids. It would make me sleepy. Sure it will. I'm not feeling very confident in pharmaceuticals right now, so I'm still not getting any sleep.

In the meantime, one of the side effects of the steroids is that I seem to be crying a lot, or, heck, it could just be because of all the sad things going on in my life, too. Whatever it is, gee, I'm not a lot of fun to be around right now. It's a good thing I went to Dottie's Diner today and got some “rescue” donuts: chocolate on top is best. I think it can cure whatever ails me (other than acne cream eyelid burns).

I can't stop thinking about Bob. How I tell myself that the rest of my journey with him will not be an easy one. How I know that with every cat I adopt, all that joy and love comes with a price, a sad ending, a final farewell. It's a heavy price to pay, but it's the love that keeps me going. For in that pain, is the reminder of the love, too. The heavy weight of sorrow, lightened by the joy of what once was and what will always be in my heart, no matter what.

As I tried to sleep last night, Spencer came over to me and laid down, as he so often does. His head tucked near my outstretched left arm and his back pressed firmly alongside my chest created a perfect cat-human “spoon.” I ran my right hand over his thick fluffy belly fur and he purred. Some of my tension washed away. I was transported to a safe place where I could take a moment to realize how lovely this connection was and how much it means to me. It is SO NOT just a human with a friendly “pet.” It is SO MUCH MORE.

I have to remember to enjoy what is here, right now and not get carried away on a river of fear about what is next.

It's been a similar journey for Maria and myself regarding our dear fosters, Polly, Cara, Chester and their mama, Mazie.

©Foster Mama, Maria. Mazie and Polly have a snuggle.

The good news is that all the cats are showing signs of improvement and are growing bigger and stronger every day. Though they are not at the weight they should be for their age, they're gaining-that's what counts.

There have been many ups and downs, though.

©Foster Mama, Maria. Mazie's eye-here we go again.

After being the first to “recover,” now Mazie's eye is infected. She's already been on new medication for a few days and I've heard she's doing better. She's been spayed successfully and the kittens are weaned. She's just about ready to come to Connecticut to join her forever family (I just know they're out there somewhere right now!).

I'll be caring for her initially. I want to make sure it's safe to separate her from her babies. I hate doing that a lot, but over the years, I've seen some mamas go after their kittens violently. Perhaps it's Nature's way of telling us it's time for them to move on? Whatever the case, I'll make certain the time is right, first.

©Foster Mama, Maria. Mazie, Cara and Polly have a snuggle while Chester keeps them company.

Polly's finally starting to have two open eyes, instead of one. Her coat condition is slowly improving. She looks remarkably like...a kitten. At last!

©Foster Mama, Maria. Polly starting to look like a proper kitten-at last.

Cara is doing better, too. I don't want to breathe a sigh of relief or assume this is it and the babies are out of danger. They still need to make the long journey here and it's very likely they will have a relapse and it will be “Santa's Team”-the 4 month nightmare of sick kittens, all over again. For now, I will take joy in seeing their improvement. They aren't on the transport for about ten more days. Hopefully that's enough time to get them ready.

©Foster Mama, Maria. Cara.

Chester was the only kitten really spared from the worst of the URI/Herpes virus. His weight is good. His coat, fabulous, his temperament is marvelous. This cute little bug has stolen Maria's heart and it's easy to see why.

©Foster Mama, Maria. Chester plays with his tail and shows off his cute belly.

©Foster Mama, Maria. Could it be? Playing kittens? Great news!

The transport is going to be done by Izzy and Mark. Once again these generous folks are using part of their vacation time to include a pit stop in Georgia to pick up some kitties for me and, perhaps, another rescue group. It will be the only private, single car transport I could do without having to go there myself. I've been torn about putting the kittens on the transport, but their mama is ready to go and either I separate them now and get the kittens up here in another month, on a noisy dog transport or try to do a multi-leg transport which would also tax them, greatly. I believe this is my best option for them, but I am concerned about what will happen once they get here.

©Foster Mama, Maria. Polly's gotten bigger, but she still has a way to go before being 100%.

And truth be told, I'm a bit worried about how them being here will effect Bob's health. Will my cats get herpes? How will I handle Bob needing surgery with having the kittens here? If they get sick, too..oh boy. I've rolled the dice and been wrong before. I admit I'll be holding my breath on this one.

©Foster Mama, Maria. “Are you my sister?.”

Some times I wish I had a crystal ball. I could gaze into it and see my future. I'd be able to make correct choices, instead of guesses, but if I knew what was coming, there might not even BE a correct choice to make, but a tough situation to learn how to cope with. We'll see how it goes.

©Foster Mama, Maria. Mazie, Cara and Polly have a snuggle while Chester mugs for the camera.

In a way, it's good I had the trial by fire with “Santa's Team,” but in another way, maybe it would be better if I was still naive about all of this? If only I could turn back the clock...hit the “snooze” button on life for awhile. If only...

I know this road. I've walked it more times than I care to recall. It's the moment at which I realize the time I have with one of my cats is coming to an end. The road is full of hopeful moments that will ultimately lead to despair and to the final choice we must make for our cat, one day.

I hate this road more than I can say. It eats at my heart and taxes my reserves. I try to prepare myself, but there is no preparing for death. It comes, as it does for all of us. We either accept it and find peace or fight and have the same end, no matter what.

On Saturday I got Bob's blood test results. His liver function, one test indicated by his ALT, was stratospherically high. A normal value would be 10-100. Bob was at 1240.

Other liver values were also very high, save for his Bilirubin, no it's not a sandwich, it's a blood test. That test result was normal. This is a good thing.

From Cat World, Australia, I found this description of Bilirubin:

Bilirubin: This is a major breakdown product of red blood cells. When red blood cells wear out they are trapped in the spleen and destroyed, releasing bilirubin into the blood. This type of bilirubin is called unconjugated. This bilirubin is transported in the blood to the liver, where it is taken up & conjugated (joined with glycuronic acid). This conjugated form may either be stored in the liver cells or excreted into the bile. Bilirubin levels are increased in cats with liver disease, gallbladder disease or have excessive destruction of red blood cells (known as hemolysis).

What do these numbers mean? See THIS web site for some helpful guidelines.

Then the kicker came today. Bob had an ultrasound done of his heart and abdomen. I thought I was going to be able to sit in during the ultrasound, but Dr. K said it would be quicker if he was on his own. Super Deb assured me she'd be with him and answer any questions. I kept thinking about this and that thing I wanted to make sure he knew, but in the end, nothing I was worried about mattered.

I took Super Deb's dog, Jayne for a walk, instead of twiddling my thumbs in the waiting room. It was freezing cold outside with a bitter wind. I tried to shake off the fear of what I would find out in a few more minutes. I tried to not cry thinking about it. I know as any good cat-parent knows-something is wrong, I just didn't know what it was. I didn't really WANT to know.

When I returned to Dr. Larry's office, grabbed a magazine about celebrities and their fabulous lives and pretended to look at it. I saw Super Deb. She wouldn't make eye contact with me. Then Dr. Larry arrived to start his day. He didn't even look towards the waiting room. Maybe it was not a big deal that he didn't look, but it seemed like no one wanted to even give me a hint as to what was going on.

Sam arrived with Petunia and Nora. He sat next to me, but we didn't speak. It's been a common thread here for a very long time. We only speak when necessary. Something is going on with Sam. I can guess, but he won't talk to me about it. Instead he hides in his office in the basement and plays his guitar. He mumbles this and that. He helps out around the house, in silence. Each day I grow a little more resentful, more angry. I am shut out and alone. I didn't do anything wrong. I can't wait forever for his life to be in a place where he feels like being a partner to me again. I'm still suffering from the car accident, in tremendous pain, but he does nothing. No comforting. No nothing. With all the stress I have about Bob, he only taps my shoulder or brushes my hand. When I need him most, he is the furthest away. I have to ask myself how many more years can this go on? What happened to having joy? Companionship? Even a dear friendship? For so long I have tried to encourage him to trust me, to talk to me, to give him guidance and support, but I am tired of trying.

So, Sam is there, but not there. I am there, but wishing I was somewhere else.

Petunia is getting a dental. One of her molars has a HOLE in it! Was THIS what was causing her to go on a pee-storm throughout the house? Fight with the other cats? Did she also have a urinary tract infection or impacted anal glads? While under anesthesia we'd be finding out. Maybe after all these years, I'd finally have a true end to the inappropriate urination going on in my home.

Nora was there to check her foot. We thought she had ringworm, but turns out she did not. She has some sort of fungal infection on one foot. It hasn't spread. We've treated it and it's getting better. But what about BOB??! Will someone please TELL ME what is GOING ON?

Dr. Larry took a deep breath. That was all he had to do. I knew it was bad news and he was preparing himself to speak.

Bob's heart is normal, which is very good, but...

Fun with ultrasound results.

As you can see, above, the many LONG words that I can't make heads or tails of spell out that Bob has a 5 cm mass present in the right lobe of his liver. It is not possible to tell if it's a cancer or if it's a benign tumor that could be treated or removed surgically.

With FIV+ and being a senior cat, Bob may not be a good candidate for surgery. He may have cancer and if they do the surgery they will open him up, then say they have to put him down. That it would not be fair to wake him up when he will only live a little while longer, anyway. It's a big crap shoot.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Bob ponders his future (on his new blanket from Jennifer)

Thanks to one of my readers who works with FIV+ and Feline Leukemia positive cats, she told me something shocking:

...for any kitty that has been tested since the beginning of this year with the new IDEXX 3-way test (FIV/FeLV/HW), you cannot trust ANY positive result on the FIV or FeLV component: incredibly high rate of false positives, confirmed by retests with the western blot for FIV or the IFA for FeLV. the true positive rate on retest is the normal, VERY LOW, percentage. (and, of course, the FeLV component only tests for EXPOSURE, and most cats are able to process the virus out of their systems, which is why retesting is imperative. usually, the retest should be done 90-120 days after last exposure, but with the nationwide problems on the new test, we-who-get-the-panicked-calls-to-place-these-cats are advising that cats be retested immediately. (IDEXX does know about the problem, and will admit it to vets; however, tho they've asked for the names and contact info for those who have stats--national rescues, and special-needs sanctuaries--they've never followed up when they were provided with same.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Blitzen and Nicky try to cheer Bob up.

Even though Bob was tested years ago, this is the time to make SURE he is FIV+ because that will effect his ability to get a surgeon to take on his case. Because he was not neutered at an appropriate age, he got FIV. This is my Mother's fault and I will never forgive her for not caring for her cat. His life would have been so much better if he'd been neutered sooner and not left outdoors to get into fights with other territorial males.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Blitzen decides to lick Bob's head while Nicky is...Nicky.

I started to cry when I got the news...big, shaky tears. I tried not to cry, but he knew I couldn't hold back. Dr. Larry rubbed my arm and told me about a woman whose dog had the same thing Bob does. That he opened the dog up and saw the mass and called the owner and said he should put the dog down. The mass was too big. The dog would die anyway. She was going through a bad divorce. The dog was all she had. She demanded he cut the mass off-so he took half the liver. The dog lived...another two and a half YEARS. But Bob's not that dog and Bob could have cancer and Bob has FIV+ and he's a senior...blah blah blah...

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Blitzen being cute, as usual.

I just wanted to fall over, curl up in a ball and weep. But that won't help Bob get better or live a bit longer, at least.

So I asked a few questions, then left the exam room. The first thing I saw was Moonpie's face! His new owner, as promised, brought Moonie and Patty to meet Dr. Larry now that they are adopted. I couldn't have been happier to see their friendly faces. I took Moonie out of his cat carrier and held him. He sat comfortably in my arms. Both cats meowed furiously at me. I hope they weren't asking me to take them home. I wanted to, but they will be happy in their new home one day. Right now they're doing well, but are still scared. Their new owner says that each day the calm down a bit more and become a bit more cuddly. With three young boys to play with, it's a big change for them. I told her to give it a month and that I'm always there for her whenever she had a question. She told me to come visit them any time. It would be too tempting to sneak them back home with me, but it was really GOOD to see them again.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. My boy, Bob.

We loaded Bob into the car, alongside Nora and drove separately home. I got Bob fed and gave him his liver medicine. He ate well, then went to his heated bed for a nap. It was just like any other day, completely unremarkable, save for the part that I know there may not be many more such unremarkable days ahead.

The other day I noticed that Bob looked dramatically thinner. It seemed to happen overnight. I know that Bob's a senior and seniors always seem to lose that padding in either side of their back, near their hips. I tried not to freak out. Bob is eating well and has some “spunk.” Even goes after Blitzen to play once in awhile. Since we're at the tail end (pardon the pun) of a rash of upper respiratory here, I thought I'd have Bob checked out. He's vomited a few times, but not often enough to concern me and his eyes seem a bit sunken.

This morning I took Bob and Petunia to visit Dr. Larry. I thought it would go fairly smoothly for Bob. He's been in pretty good shape for a senior with FIV+. Then Super-Deb weighed him. He's lost over ONE POUND since September.

Then Dr. Larry started to feel Bob's abdomen. He had an odd look on his face. My heart sank.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Bob, his usual calm self waiting for his X-ray results.

It wasn't that he felt a specific mass, but something didn't feel quite right so he had Super Deb take him to get X-rayed. Dr. Larry stepped out of the exam room. My heart started to pound in my chest. I had a flashback to 8 years ago when Dr. Larry was gone for a good 20 minutes, supposedly looking at x-rays of my cat, Squeegee. I think it took that long because he didn't want to tell me her cancer had spread to her lungs and that she only had a few months left to live.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Bob's X-ray. The area in the center, left is the area of concern.

I love Bob so much. That he was my Mother's cat, makes him even more precious to me. He's the last reminder I have of her, though I have to add, she NEVER took Bob to the Vet. We used to fight about it. That's why Bob has FIV+ now. He was left outdoors during the day and he wasn't neutered until he was well into adulthood. I managed to bully my Mother into getting it done, but by then it was too late for Bob. I realize how ironic it is to have a cat that reminds me of fighting with my mother, but I'm more devoted to making sure Bob has the BEST Vet care because of how poorly he was treated in the past.

The x-rays showed something wasn't quite right. Dr. Larry talked about cancer or a benign liver tumor that is completely operable or something else...I started to cry. I didn't want to but I couldn't help it. I know Bob won't live forever. None of us will. But I want Bob to live forever. Is that too much to ask?

They pulled blood and I'll have results tomorrow. Bob's always had high liver values, called ALT, so it wouldn't be a surprise that there is something going on with his Liver. Super Deb just called me to let me know that they pulled some strings and a very well respected radiologist is going to be giving Bob an ultrasound on Tuesday-far sooner than I had hoped.

So now I wait and try not to freak out when I don't have all the information, but I can't help it. It's Bob.

Not Bob.

Please.

As Hurricane Earl churns in the Atlantic, I sit and wait and wonder if it's going to behave and only give the folks here in Connecticut a glancing blow of high winds and torrential rain or if the weather reports will be wrong and Earl will take a devious leap west and blast us with its' Category 2 fury.

I realized that should we ever take a direct hit that I have nowhere to go that would allow cats-and certainly not foster cats that also have ringworm. I couldn't even put them in the car with the healthy cats.

I'd be forced to stay behind.

So Sam and I got up at 6AM. This was not my idea of a good time. No one should get up until at least 9AM and 10AM would be even better. Anyway, we wanted to get to the grocery store and buy some non-perishable items like pudding cups, nuts, chocolate covered raisins. You know-important things that will keep us healthy if we lose power—which happens if you fart too hard around here. We expect the power will go out-which also means, no WATER.

We live in a house where everything is run by electricity-including the pump that goes to our 390' deep well. That means no shower and NO FLUSHING. Not fun. We have those 5 gallon bottles of water and a dispenser. Some of the bottles are empty so we filled them with tap water. Ah ha! Now we will be able to flush, though holding a 40 pound jug of water, aiming over the toilet tank, then hoping you don't miss and dump it all over the floor or miss and get it into the toilet BOWL, which would splatter whatever was currently IN the bowl all over the walls.

Gosh, I hope the power doesn't go out tomorrow. I just don't think there's enough bleach in the world to clean my walls after that.

As I wait to find out if my little house in the woods is going to be decimated by Hurricane Earl, I thought I'd catch you up on a BUNCH of news...in no particular order...

1. HOPE IS OUT OF THE ANIMAL HOSPITAL!

Her leg, HELLO!, is HEALED! She will walk just fine. She beat the infections, but traded them off for a cold. That said she is well enough now to go into foster care. I heard her foster home is terrific and her rescuers, called The Cat Women, should be getting a check from me via Sweetwater Vet Hospital, to cover ALL of HOPE's medical bills! There will be a bit left over and that will go into a fund to help other cats who need vet care.

HOPE has a new name: Ariel. This will mark her new journey. In a very strange coincidence, Ariel's foster mom is none other than Mary Jo-who is the subject of item number 2!

2. BIG, ORANGE MAINE COON IS SAFE!

Big Orange's owner is a senior citizen with dementia who cannot care for her cat and whose (jerkwad) of a son refuses to allow the cat in the house! The poor cat has been attacked by local (equally jerky) kids. Mary Jo (sound familiar?) stepped up to help rescue this big lug. When news got out about his troubles lots of folks chimed in, willing to help. I got the word out to my rescue babes and one of them offered to give him a home. I can't say more than that because the details aren't worked out, but even if not, Big Orange is SAFE. Mary Jo got him today only to find out the (jerkwad of the century) son now wants to get a puppy since the cat is gone. Is there no justice for this cat? Perhaps a wonderful life in a better home will do the trick?

©2010 Mary Jo. Her original poster trying to find help for Big Orange.

3. RINGWORM. WE HAVE A WINNER! (or is that LOSER?)

There aren't enough swear words to cover how I feel about Pattycake getting ringworm. She had it in transport, but only a tiny dot on her ear. I didn't even NOTICE what you see below. Granted the area was shaved after Dr. Larry's Vet Tech, Mighty Lauren found it!

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Fungus Amongus.

And of course, a few days later I felt some "crud" on her brother, Moonpie's ear so he's got it, too. Both cats are in the bathroom for eternity, or another month. Then they will be 5 months old and even harder to find a forever home for. If this is as bad as it gets I will be grateful. If the 4 little kittens in the foster room get it, too...that will be really bad...if my cats get it...well...not good...not good at all.

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. They share everything...ugh.

4. Bob has a URI. Spencer has really bad feline acne that I just can't get rid of, Nicky PEED on the floor right in front of us so he's at the Vet getting tests done and poor Gracie's dermatitis just won't go away!

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Bob. No fever but sneezing and coughing. My poor baby!

This is why having TWO cats is nice. If one gets sick, no problem. If both got sick, no problem! When they ALL start to get sick? PROBLEM! Having EIGHT CATS is NOT FOR SOMEONE WITH A WEAK CONSTITUTION-which is WHY I should have TWO CATS!

4. Jasper County Animal Control STILL NEEDS A FEW MORE CATS RESCUED SO THEY WON'T HAVE TO PUT ANY KITTIES DOWN. BUT...

Thanks to Barb Lowe at Winging Cat Rescue and two other rescue groups, five cats from Jasper were saved, along with three others from Douglas and eight by our friend Joan Flores in TN, along with six from Heard County and three more who were supposedly rescued but their rescue DUMPED THEM!!!!!...so they were RE-RESCUED!

©2010 Jasper Co. Animal Control. This is Frances.

That's 25 MORE CATS SAVED!!!

©2010 Jasper Co. Animal Control. This is Maybelline.

©2010 Jasper Co. Animal Control. This is Saber. Yay Saber!

Yes, there's a price for rescuing all these cats. Barb needs Scotch and a vacation somewhere quiet AND she needs $400.00 to cover transport. Let's show her how we can help her money woes disappear and thank her for all her hard work, saving these babies!

5. My little kittens are pushing three pounds a piece, except for Cinnie-Minnie who is just a tiny little thing.

Oh, and they're super cute, but I don't get to spend nearly enough time with them!

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. From left to right: Yodel, Sugar Pie, Honey B. and Cinnamon.

6. Little Maria WILL be having her surgery next week! Stay tuned for LOTS MORE NEWS ABOUT THIS BIG EVENT FOR A LITTLE KITTY!

That is if my power doesn't go out tomorrow...and Earl keeps his distance.

I'm not getting any younger. That's for sure. Every day new aches pop up and the type on cat food can labels looks like a secret code only a mouse could read. I don't have children (other than furry ones) and my family is sparse, mostly non-cat people (how that happened, I don't know) or I hate their guts (oops).

That leaves me with a predicament.

Who will care for my cats after I die? Sam and I are together so often that we could die together in an accident. What then? What if Sam dies first, then I die?

©2009 Robin A.F. Olson. Bob has already had two families that I know of. Will he have another one day?

I have a Will. In it, I dictated that the Director of the group I'm with should find homes for my cats. I have come to realize that that choice is not a good one any longer. I would rather know the homes my cats are going to now, if, at all possible. Just as people do with children, I would like to choose “Godparents” for my cats.

Am I being morbid? NO. I'm being realistic. Shit happens even when you're 18 or 32. I'm pushing the big 5-0. I've been lucky so far, but one day the luck will run out.

©2008 Robin A.F. Olson. Cricket sleeps. My former feral is mostly too shy around anyone but us. What will become of him? He's a really sweet boy. He would not make it in a shelter.

I started to imagine putting just one person in charge of all the cats. They would get my house, most of my stuff, but would have to live here until all the cats pass away (naturally!), then they can do what they want with the stuff. But that's a lot to ask.

The other problem is that the people who would give my cats the best home, already HAVE, in most cases, quite a few cats, already. Asking them to take 8 more is too much. Perhaps, asking them to take one or two is possible?

I don't have to have it all sorted out in a day (I hope), but I dipped my toe into the water to see how it would feel. I asked someone to take Bob Dole, should he outlive me.

I asked, Super-Deb.

©2009 Robin A.F. Olson. Spencer. The pouffy cat with his own fan club. Spencer is my beloved, but he wouldn't be an easy fit into just any home. He must have play time or he can be bossy with other cats. He's an alpha-boy, too and does not like belly rubs or to be picked up. That said, he loves to be near me at all times and he's “my boy.”

I love Super-Deb, but who wouldn't love someone who is super? Even though I've known SD for many years, I don't know her very well. She is a private person, with me, but I get the feeling she's shared things with me that maybe not many other people know. She may seem to be a bit guarded, but it doesn't take long for her to reveal a wicked dry sense of humor. Her devotion to her own animals and her loving care of them is a beautiful sight to behold. She really knows her stuff and has been a mentor to me during so many crises and a calming voice during the worst of it.

©2009 Robin A.F. Olson. Petunia or “'Tunie” as I call her. She should be called; “Princess.” She's clever, chats with me and can do tricks, but she is high strung-no wonder, she's one of the lowest cats and I know the boys pick on her some times. She would be great in a home with no other cats other than her mama, Gracie. I know she would blossom.

She's jokingly called “Aunt Debbie” when Bob goes to Dr. Larry's. Bob loves her and vice versa. He will let her brush him and he won't let me do as much. I only want Bob to visit Dr. Larry when Aunt Debbie is there to oversee his care. It's a perfect fit for SD to take Bob.

©2009 Robin A.F. Olson. I should re-name this cat, “Poor-Gracie.” for she is not in good shape. I'll write more about her, separately, but she's had a very long road with a skin ailment that's taken her beauty and her joy in life. She needs a kind hand and a knowledgeable person to keep her healthy.

Yesterday we were talking on the phone about my worries about Gracie. I didn't have the nuts to ask her about Bob, so I sent her an email, shyly asking her to ignore my being a loonie, and would she consider taking Bob (along with some money for his care) if something happens to me and Sam? She wrote back a resounding YES!

A few minutes later, my phone rang. SD blurted; “Can I have Blitzen, too?!”

©2010 Robin A.F. Olson. Bob and Blitz. Some days things are just perfect.

I didn't want to ask her for that, thinking it was too big of a request, but of course, YES. I would be happy for her to take him, too.

I've got four more cats to figure out homes for, unless Sam wants me to try to place his cats, too, and then it will be six. Once we have this worked out, I go to my lawyer. I want to protect my cats as much as I can after I die. They shouldn't have to face death row at a shelter because they might be older or sickly. It's not fair to them at all.

©2009 Robin A.F. Olson. I assume there will be a fist-fight over Nicky, but with Nicky, comes Nora. Maybe they can go back and live with their brothers; “Charles and Bailey,” but I haven't asked just yet.

I hope that all of you will think about this and how it effects your own life and cat-family. Yes, it's scary or creepy or “you just don't want to go there,” but if you don't “go there” it's selfish. What of your cats? Their future well-being? Your dogs? Some times you have to do things that are unpleasant, but knowing you have it worked out, for when your time comes? Well, hopefully, it's a great comfort to you and most assuredly, the least you can do for your pets.

I don't think Spencer recognized Bob without his clothes on.

I learned at an early age that I would never be a sports heroine when instead of gracefully grabbing a fly ball in my mitt, I caught it with my FACE. The ball hit me on my upper lip, chipping my top two and bottom front two teeth. I was 9. I was wearing the new, matching bright orange polyester short set my Mother had just got me from K-Mart. I was terrified I'd get blood on my clothes and get yelled at, so while I was screaming and squirting blood, I held my head forward to drip onto the ground, as I walked the three (hundred, it seemed) blocks back to my family's house.

I was lucky that just about at that time, my Dentist had learned about a new procedure where you could use some sort of concrete (or whatever) and bond it onto the chipped teeth. He did the repair, while I was trying not to pass out from having all the nerves exposed in my teeth.

The repair lasted all these MANY years, but it was discolored and the bonded material was chipping away over time. It didn't look great and my front teeth, well, they aren't so aesthetically pleasing, anyway, so...my Dentist, Dr. David, who is awesome, who I share the same birthday with, same day and YEAR, has been after me to get veneers.

What a complete waste of money. Pure vanity! Just re-bond the teeth and be done. But the re-bonding won't ever match and will discolor. The material will fail and I will still have teeth that flare out at the bottom, like an outdated skirt from Goodwill.

We're about to lose our Health Insurance and I had some money left to use in the dental plan. I figured I was going to get about 25% off if I did the veneers, so in case I ever become famous, I figured, why not?

Let's just say, that although Dr. David is a fine Dentist and I really like him a lot, I can't understand how celebrities get a full set of these things. Holy crap! It's not that painful during, well not painful at all, but afterwards, yikes, not fun, but the WORST is when the temporaries come off and you get to hear your temporaries being CRACKED, following by pieces of the material falling down your shirt. I know I'm going to have nightmares about this.

After the chipping, cracking, buzz sawing, I was left with a fat lip, numb inside my nose and gums and with a much nicer smile. I will post before and after photos, maybe.

Bob Dole, my cat, also went to the dentist, well, he saw Dr. Larry. Since Bob has FIV+, he's prone to having gum/teeth problems. Bob's down to about 6 teeth and we're doing all we can to KEEP what he has left. Dr. Larry told me that Bob had a nasty looking molar and that it needed work now to prevent it from having to come out later. We ran the usual blood panel and everything looked normal, except for Bob's ALT. Bob has never had a normal ALT, but word was it was not as high as it had been in the past. I give kudos to his raw diet and no-more-kibble nutrition for making a difference.

That said, all the good blood work in the world wasn't going to assure me that the sedation wouldn't kill Bob or mess him up badly. I hate having Bob sedated and I'm sure I'm a pain in the ass about asking to have someone call me the second he's awake and the procedure is done. Bob's old. I don't know how old, but maybe 14 or so?

The other thing Bob needed was a haircut. I do brush him, but not often enough. He gets nasty mats and with the warm weather upon us, I thought that for once I'd get him a “lion cut” which would remove all the mats and give him a fresh look for the summer. I hoped he wouldn't be embarrassed.

Bob took it like a champ. Bob is unflappable unless he's hungry-then there's a LOT of flapping. Sam and I picked him up at 6:30pm. We got to see him in his cage. The cage card had “FIV+” highlighted in marker, under his name. It made me sad. Bob had to be separated from the other animals. I never think about him being contagious to anyone. In fact, I am going to have his combo test re-run. I dunno...are there false positives?

Bob looked a bit sad. He didn't have any teeth extracted, which was great, so I knew he would be too uncomfortable. I called to him and opened the cage door. He looked so odd! It was if there was Bob's head, attached to another body all together. I could still see the mackerel stripes where his fur was trimmed away. He feels very nice and smooth and has very cute fur “boots” on this legs. Super Deb, knew I'd be posting photos of her work, so she made sure to do an extra nice job. I never thought writing a Blog would bring a perk like that! Yes, Super-Deb, you will still be called “Super.” You did a good job. I think Bob appreciates, too, that you “expressed” his anal glands (if you want to read more about why cats need their anal glands cleaned out, see my post here). I'm sorry I didn't notice he was having a problem back there! I was also surprised that Bob has STUD tail! What's up with that? I guess once a stud, always a stud.

Bob's home now and crabby. He wants to eat. I'm not supposed to feed him, so I fed him a little bit. He wants more and is hissing at all the other cats and checking out their empty plates for a scrap to eat. I want to eat, but my gums are killing me and the nerves in my front teeth are throbbing. I'm crabby, too. Sam had a crown replaced yesterday and a filling done a few days ago, but somehow he remains crabby-free. It's been “2:30” for too long. Here's hoping for a time change coming soon.(crossing paws).

Blitzen's been looking to make friends with the other cats. He's had some success-roughousing with Spencer is a favorite pastime. Nicky gets head licks and wrestling time, too. The girls aren't too receptive of little Blitz, but last night he walked over to Gracie and gave her head a lick-to which she responded by tipping her head down to allow him better access to her. A VERY nice sign, indeed.

This weekend, Blitz decided to go for a nap attempt with Bob. Bob sleeps with Nick and Nora from time to time, but that's about it. It was great he didn't mind having Blitzen share his afternoon nap.

As you can see, Blitzen is growing up. He's up to 7 lbs now!

Seeing this just filled my heart with joy. I hope these two become good friends. I know Blitzen can be annoying. Bob doesn't appreciate the little guy's high energy. Looks like all is well once Blitzen gets tired.

Back massage, sir?

Sweet dreams, boys.

I thought I'd share a few extra bits of information regarding Blitzen's recent adoption that you might find amusing (written while Blitzen is literally hanging over my shoulder, purring loudly).

Blitz really enjoys catnip!

Some of you remarked that Sam is a “Saint” for being willing to go along with my urging that we bring another cat into the household. In fact, Sam was the one who was ready to adopt Blitzen weeks ago. It was I who was doing the feet-dragging. Sam took a liking to Blitz waaaay back when he was just a tiny tike. For myself, I'm so used to telling myself I can't adopt any foster, that I pushed away any notion of it happening. It's simply not done!-not when you have SEVEN cats who don't get along like perfect little angels.

I was the one who worried about what it would mean for our other cats and worried about the urine marking festival that would and did take place. Yes, there was some fighting, too and urine marking all over the house, once Blitzen was out and about. Was Blitzen the culprit? No. Petunia, as ever, has been neurotically marking and I'm guessing Cricket may have followed suit. Regardless of who did it, over the past four weeks or so, the marking seems to have stopped (of course you have to be diligent and LOOK for it every day and make sure to clean it up VERY WELL). There doesn't seem to be any fighting and I've noticed some very subtle shifting around of where each cat hangs out.

Gracie and Petunia, the skittish twosome, are now residing in our bedroom most of the day, but it's sunny in there and they enjoy their selection of cat beds that are right next to a sliding glass door for a view of the woods. They've physically separated themselves from everyone else, but, they DO still come downstairs and eat well and Gracie even “chats” with me on occasion.

(From left: Nora, Spencer, Bob. Blitzen, front and Nicky far rear of photo on left)

What's even weirder is that most of the cats now cover the bed at night. Bob, who stopped coming up the stairs (due to his advancing age and ill health), has returned. Cricket is the only cat who never comes up stairs. He just doesn't. On top of that, the cats don't seem to be fighting in the bedroom any more. This morning I woke up and saw Blitzen and Nicky, side by side, Bob, Spencer, Gracie and Petunia, all on or near the bed.

I have to wonder if this has something to do with the raw diet, because the cats are HUNGRY when it's time for breakfast, but they are also feeling better. Bob must be feeling great to get his butt up the stairs and be able to hop up onto our bed, which is rather high off the floor.

I don't have answers, I just find it all very curious. I hope this is all good signs for a comfortable and companionable future for us all. Blitzen is sitting on a chair a few feet away from me. He's purring so loud I can hear him. I have to keep taking a momentary break to pet him while I write. I swear he's smiling.

Okay, so maybe Nora needs a bit more time to warm up to Blitzen!

So I admit I was taking it slow and being cautious about moving forward with Blitzen's adoption. Sam was ready to go. I was also sad that now I really can't adopt a giant, fluffy Tuxedo kitty, but Sam surprised me the other day.

After all this, he said to me that he thought Blitzen needed a buddy close to his age and that if I wanted to adopt a Tux, then I should just go ahead and do it.

I guess you guys are right. Sam IS a Saint!