A Touching Tale

Just when I think I've gone as far as I can to help animals in need, I find I can face new challenges and take it a step further. Whatever it takes, right? I've been caring for a 9 month old Maine Coon, who was surrendered by his owner a week ago. The owner said the cat had chronic diarrhea and he couldn't deal with it any more. He was also going through a divorce and his ex-wife felt the cat's soiling problem was a danger to their young son. The owner wanted the cat put down, which is where I came in. If you've been following some of the other posts, you know the story. The cat was fine. No loose stool, really nice cat... ...until yesterday. The meds have worn off. The cat's having some issues with his stool getting softer, so I called my Vet and he said to put him back on the meds for a few days. I'm also giving him acidophilus pills to help increase the good bacteria in his digestive tract. Things seemed to be OK, for little Dumbledore, not great. I was able to clean him up when he had a bit of poo on his tail. No big deal. This morning, I was about to leave the house and on my way out the door, I stopped by to check in on the cat. There he was by the door, looking up at me with those sweet eyes, when suddenly, the smell hit me. As I looked around the room, I saw a foot long swath of shit smeared on the floor. By my foot was another, shorter one. The cat jumped on the bed and it was clear he had crap on his left rear foot, as well. I quickly got to work cleaning up the floor and stripping the bed to boil the sheets. I put a towel down for Dumbledore and coaxed his tail up so I could see the damage. His fur is so thick I couldn't tell how bad it was at first. I got a damp paper towel and gave him a wipe. I could feel a lump and knew he had a lot more stuck in his tail than I could see. Thankfully, he was good natured about being touched near his manly-bits. I tried to pull out the mess, but there was too much fur in the way and I wasn't getting very far. I kept getting more and more wet paper towels. Finally I got a sponge and tried that, to no avail. I was going to need to bathe him, but I didn't know how he would react. I started to wonder if it could wait 'til I had some free time. I have to work tomorrow, so Tuesday I could do it...no...2 days of a cat with shit on his rear end...sitting all over the room...sitting on ME? Ok. I'm gonna bathe him. No big deal. Done this many times before. I figure if I don't have the Bartonella from him now, I will soon. No doubt he'll try to shred me into little chunks once his feet hit the water. This also meant that I'd have to go ask Sam to help me. Great. Sam and I are not getting along at all. I really can't do this myself. Someone has to hold the cat while I dig at his ass and clean it out. Oh joy. I declare I need some help. I don't ask. I'm not nice. I don't care. Sam is not nice back to me, so we are in perfect balance. We have a brief hissing session, followed by a quick separation. I go to the kitchen to get supplies to wash the cat. He goes to hang out until I'm ready. We're not getting along so well that I wonder why I bother. I should just do it myself. What I really want to do is leave. I want to get out of my house and not come back, but I know I would miss my cats eventually and frankly; I'm too tired for drama. I need my latex gloves. I'm not going to wash a cat ass bare handed. I have a BOX of latex gloves to use for cleaning the foster cat room, litter box cleaning (some times), and special, nasty cleaning chores. I can't find the box of gloves. I can't FIND THEM! Sam helps me look for the box by standing in the room with me while I look for them. Nice. Thanks alot. Fine. I'm not going to have gloves. Fine. I'll do it bare handed. I don't care. I just want to get this over with so I can go hide in my room, alone. Alone with some mac & cheese and maybe some ice cream. I think I Tivo'd the original "Casino Royale" with David Niven and Ursual Undress (that's what my dad called her, anyway). That would be an afternoon well spent. Welcome to the Fuck-it moment. Sam held Dumbldore so the cat's back end was in the small sink. This cat doesn't seem to mind the water running if it's running slowly. I start to wet down his tail and he seems relaxed. I reach under his tail and feel around. Instantly I find the clump of crap. I pinch and pull it out of the base of his tail, along his fur. It's matted in very deeply. I load up my hand with cat shampoo and get a good lather. I'll be damned, but the cat LIKES IT! Obviously, he's been bathed before. He's not trying to get away. He's completely relaxed! I can't believe he's even PURRING! I, however, am not relaxed and not happy. As Sam holds the cat, I continue to rinse, lather and probe Dumbledore's ass with my BARE fingers. It seems as though the more crap I rinse off, the more appears from the depths of his tail. I realize there's no way I can just wash his end, I'm gonna have to wet down his entire tail. Again, this amazing cat, doesn't seem to mind a bit. I mind. I mind a bit! I mind more than a bit! This is disgusting!!! Not only that, but it SMELLS terrible. I SMELL. My hand...God knows what kind of germs are on me, under my nails. I'm never going to touch my face again. I'm never going to..ack!...use the keyboard???!!! again! I did the best I could. I wiped down the cat with a clean towel and left him to groom himself. His tail is so thin now. If I wasn't so tired, I'd take a picture of it, but it would remind me of what I just did and I think I'd like to forget it. After the cat was taken care of, I quickly used a bleach scrub to clean everything, then washed my hands a few times. I keep thinking I smell shit. I hope the poop particles got stuck in my nose and that I don't have any crap stuck ON me. Just what I need. What I need is mac & cheese smell particles to replace the poop particles. I feel a new plan forming. Sam just interrupted me to tell me he may have to go to the office! He NEVER goes to the office on the weekend. Hmm... ...looks like I may salvage something out of this day after all?