Foster Cat Journal: Breakdown Lane Ahead

I think it's a bad sign if I look at one of my cats doing something stupid and I burst into tears, seemingly for no reason. I'm so stressed out about all the sick cats that I'm feeling sick, myself. I've been trying to just breathe...not flip out...try to be good to myself, but it's not working. I'm exhausted and woozy and am losing the battle at caring about the outcome of all of this.

It's been a few days and Cupid and the kittens are just not eating well. I got Donder's temperature last night and she was not feverish, though she was a tiny bit over 102°F. These kitties haven't been seen by a Vet since they arrived. I was hoping that I could keep them comfortable and not stress them with a car trip to the Vet, but after trying five different foods last night-from chicken baby food, KMR, A/D, Solid Gold-“kitty crack” and one flavor of Wellness, they just sniff and walk away. I feel like I'm at the topmost rise of a terrible roller coaster and I can see it's about to drop downwards, but I can't see the bottom. I anticipate the feeling of of the drop with a deep primordial fear that grabs my gut and gives it a good, hard squeeze.

I've decided to get Cupid and the family to the Vet. It's almost Christmas and I can't risk them really being sick over the holiday. Whatever I was hoping to get done to lamely attempt at preparing for Christmas, will have to wait. Another late night awaits, trying to catch up.

I also heard news about Vixen. She's congested now and her owners are taking her back to the Vet. I know they're supposed to go out of town for a few days starting tomorrow. They have a great pet sitter set up, but now I wonder if their holiday is going to be ruined, too. It's one thing if my plans are shot, but it's not fair that they have to suffer, too. I hope Vixen is just hitting the snotty phase of the URI and will be all right very soon.

It really tears me up to know so many of them are suffering. At least I know now what I want for Christmas: a magic wand to wave over these sick cats and help them be well again.