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The Top 10 Names NOT to Give Your Cat

NOTE FROM ROBIN: just before I was going to upload this post, I got a number of urgent texts from Maria about a kitten who was in dire need of rescue. As you may know, we rushed this kitten to the Vet last night and after getting him on fluids and an injection of B12 and some antibiotics to help soothe his upper respiratory infection, he was sent to Maria's to begin recovering. He is seriously underweight, but he's eating and doing all right so far. What's ironic is that he'll need a name, so I better make sure I take my own advice about what name to choose.

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Running a Cat Rescue often requires that I name incoming cats and kittens. I love the challenge of coming up with something unique, that speaks to the personality of each foster cat, but after naming a few hundred cats it becomes a bit daunting.

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©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. MacGruber.

The right name can make or break an adoption. If I have a somewhat shy foster cat, who does not rank very high on the must adopt list, meaning it's a black kitten or not a known fancy cat breed, the better the name, the better the odds are that I can get that cat adopted.

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©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Polly Picklepuss.

Do adopters keep the name I give their cat? Often times they do, but it surprises me when I believe I chose a great name and they change it. I'm sure if you asked the cat, they wouldn't care. As the saying goes; “I don't care what you call me, just don't call me late for dinner.”

Keeping in mind that this is ALL IN GOOD FUN, if you named your cat something on this list, PLEASE do not be offended! You could simply consider changing your cat's name to something more clever and appealing to avoid feeling badly. (I'm joking about the name change unless your cat is named, Kitty!)

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©2007 Robin A.F. Olson. Bob Dole-best cat name, ever.

THE TOP 10 NAMES TO NOT GIVE YOUR CAT

1. Kitty. Really? You can't come up with something better than that? Look around your home. Name the cat, “Maple,” “Cinnamon,” “Corian.” Anything is more creative than, KITTY! We KNOW it's a kitty. It's like calling a baby, “human” or “male.”

2. Max. If I had a $1 for every kid, dog or cat named Max, I'd be loaded.

3. Tiger/Tigger/Stripes. Firstly, it's not a tiger, it's a cat. Yes, it may have a striped pattern, but don't call it Stripes! Why not fancy it up? Give it pizzaz? How about LeTigre? Blaze? Some tabbies patterning looks more like herringbone. See? Herringbone is a much cooler name.

4. Boots/Mittens What's next? Naming your cat, “Underwear?” “Ear Muffs?”

5. Fluffy, Puffy, Fluff I named one of our foster cats Miss FluffyPants, which is a great example of how to use a hackneyed name and give it a memorable twist.

6. Lucky That name always connotates an animal with 3 legs or 1 eye (or both) and in my book, that's not particularly lucky.

7. Puss I wouldn't even say that name out loud these days.

8.Tabby. Good thing you don't have a black or gray cat. What would you name that one, Blackie? Gray-ie?

9. Harley This was a cool name at one time, but it's 15 minutes of cool are over.

10. Sooty, Inky, Midnight Only okay to use if the cat is NOT black. If the cat is black, how about choosing one our friend in the Philipines, who does cat rescue, called her black foster kitten: Skittles.

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©2011 Robin A.F. Olson. Periwinkle.

Then there are those out there who ignore social convention, common sense or good taste. They have no regard for how the cat might feel being called by the name they chose or the fact that their Vet will one day have to say this name out loud when talking about a serious health issue the cat is battling. “Mr. Jones, I'm very sorry to tell you that we found cancer in Douchebag.”

10 STUPID NAMES FOR YOUR CAT

1. Bong/Token

2. Douche/Douchebag/DB

3. Lil' Hitler

4. Rabid

5. Dick

6. Al Qaeda

7. Slutbutt

8. Pissy

9. Tabby Turdstockings

10. Redneck

I love to think up names that are unique or have a play on words. I have to wonder if a well-named cat gets slightly better Vet care. Every time I went to a new Vet with my cat, Bob Dole, EVERYONE who heard his name laughed, smiled and REMEMBERED him any time we needed to have a return visit. Maybe a cat's name is not such a big deal, but I believe it's worth taking time to come up with a name that's special to you and your family.

BOUNDRY-PUSHING NAMES I JUST MADE UP FOR COOL CATS

1. Count Chocula

2. Rehab

3. Kevin Scent or Kevin

4. Sultan of Swagger or Sammy Swagger

5. Sir Chunksalot

6. Roger That

7. Phil Opian

8. Richard Widmark (you would always have to refer to him by his full name, no nicknames or else it falls under number 5 of Stupid Cat Names)

9. Loaf

10. Dammit. My Mother always wanted to name a cat Dammit so she could let it outside during the day, then have the pleasure of calling it to come back inside each night. “Dammit, get in the house!”

11.(bonus!) Rocky Road

I could go on and on about cat names and perhaps one day I'll share some insight into what inspires my curious name choices. For now, please promise to still be my friend if your cat is named Mittens or Max or anything else on these lists. I want to inspire you to consider coloring outside the lines when you name your next cat. Give that cat a special name that makes you smile every time you have to scold that cat and say its' name out loud: “Richard Widmark! Get off the counter!”

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©2012 Maria. S. Now that we've discussed what not to name the cat, stupid names and cool names I've come up with; I've chosen to name our newest foster kitten, Tater Tot.

Comments

I always named cats after mythological personalities. Now I have a one year old seal point that I named Lupus (he looked like a baby wolf) now I adopted a new blue point kitten and I cant get a name for ..can anyone help me!

There are a lot of good names in the Norse mythology, and you could adapt spelling and so forth to fit the particular kitty :)

Muffin Top? Avatar?

that is a very funny load of names and description. me and dad laughed so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So said the wise man known as Old Possum. :-)

That said, I do love me some cool and interesting cat names, and the more epic, the better.

I have my Siouxsie Mew, named after one of my favorite punk rock divas. She had a sister, Sinead O'Kitty, who used to love it when I played songs by her namesake.

Then there's Thomas T. Bombadil, who came to me with the name Thomas ... and I just thought he needed a bit more than that because he was such a nature spirit of a cat.

My beautiful baby Dahlia (RIP) came to me with the name Blackie. Yes, seriously. I was also told she was a boy, so I originally named her Black Jack Davey after a character in an old folk song. But then when she shoved her butt in my face and I found out that she was absolutely NOT a boy, I tried a bunch of other "D" names because she seemed to like that sound, until I came up with Dahlia, which then became Dahlia P. Kittenface.

And lest we forget lovely, sweet Bobette, who became Chrysanthemum Kiss-Kiss Bobette Jellylorum Kelley ... or Kissy for short.

Belladonna came to me with that name, and she was often called Bella by the people at the shelter, but Belladonna Moonshadow Kelley just seemed to be a good fit for her.

If I were tasked with naming kittens that came into my care, I'd think about naming them after groups from stories, movies or poems. Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer. Frick and Frack. Frodo, Samwise and Merry. Hawkeye, BJ, Radar, Hot Lips, Ferret Face, Colonel Potter. That sort of thing.

We had a huge yellow tom that my husband named "Tom T. Ticklerpitcher John L Windingham.  And he had an off spring that my husband named the same thing only Jr. at the end.

I once had a tuxedo kitten who shared my life.  When I first gazed upon his face, the name 'Walter' came to me.  But Walter was a bit of a plain name...so I added 'Chroncat', in honor of my favorite news reporter.

I'm reminded of Eliot's words:

The naming of cats is a difficult matter
It isn't just one of your holiday games.
You may think that I'm as mad as a hatter
When I tell you a cat must have three different names. 

I'm not sure I'd go that far. When I had indoor/outdoor cats, I always game them a name that sounded crazy when being yelled off the deck right before supper. 

My cat Archie got his name because I found him off of Archer Rd, behind the Arch view restaurant. Archer seed a bit formal, so we went with Archie. I swear he thinks his name is "Archino" though, because I'm always yelling, "Archie, NO!!!" After taking him to get neutered, I stopped off at a local pet boutique to pick him up some snacks and toys to help him feel better about the day's events, and the owner announced she had a 4 week old kitten in her garage that someone had abandoned, and a friend had trapped. She then convinced me kittens do better in pairs, and I brought him home. Archie was not happy, as he'd already had a traumatic day, and hissed at this little guy. It reminded me of Garfield trying to ship his cousin Nermal, the World's cutest kitten, to Abu Dhabi. So we named Archie ' kitten Nermal. They're best buds now. 8)

Since I volunteer for a cat rescue, we've been hard pressed for names. But we prevail.

Naughty tabby female kitten - Stinkerbell

Two semi-feral orange brothers who were my "porch cats" for years: Cletus and Jethro

Orange longhaired kitten who would puff up his tail as a greeting - Puff Daddy

Pretty but grumpy Manx female - The Honey Badger

 

 

 

 

I think, with the exception of things that are swears and nasty slurs and so forth, most names are fine. I knew a very good Fluffy and Lucky, once upon a time. My current cats I adopted with their names (Monkey Bear [goes by Monkey] and Kira), and my previous cat was Niko but I misheard and so he became Miko when I adopted him from my gran's neighbour. My gran's last cat was Lutje which means little one in German (spelling Canadianised). The cat before that was Muske which means little mouse, it's used as a term of endearment, and when we adopted him (Siamese/tabby cross) he was so tiny and scrawny he looked like a little rat according to my grandpa, and the name Muske then came out and stuck :)

I did name a cat Pandora once and I do not recommend that - she was like opening a box of trouble in my house. I was young and in university and wound up adopting her to a nice family with children who said she was the best cat they ever had. Either they had some AWFUL cats, or she was just lonely when I wasn't home and acted out when I was...

Mickey: As in Mickey Mouse, ginger rescue who liked to steel my (clean) socks and hide them in a corner, under the bed, or in my shoes.

Mona: Britsh Blue who always looked like she was smiling, so I named her after Mona Lisa.

Peanut: He was a ginger and white shorthair with the aggression of a peanut. He'd always rool on hos back for  cuddles and was friendly with everyone. Once he came home with a mouse in his mouth - he was very challenged in the hunting department - and I'm convinced the two of them made a pact and the mouse jumped into his mouth just for a laugh. The mouse was perfectly fine and got released into the wild.

Tiger (whoops!): A black and grey striped tabby wuth a white chin and belly. Got her at 10 weeks old. She's now 17 years old, arthritic and has chronic kidney disease. Nicknames: Tiger Lily, Mullemaus, Muzelchen (yes, German). She's my little old lady who used to be a prolific hunter.

Biscuit: Named after ginger nut buscuits. Suits him to the ground. He's ginger (and white) and he's a complete nutter. He's also my little shadow and following me around the house.

And finally: Scoop. A black and white rescue, he was named after the vet nurse who hand-reared him. Named so because he shovels his food down at amazing speed. 

Mickey: As in Mickey Mouse, ginger rescue who liked to steel my (clean) socks and hide them in a corner, under the bed, or in my shoes.

Mona: Britsh Blue who always looked like she was smiling, so I named her after Mona Lisa.

Peanut: He was a ginger and white shorthair with the aggression of a peanut. He'd always rool on hos back for  cuddles and was friendly with everyone. Once he came home with a mouse in his mouth - he was very challenged in the hunting department - and I'm convinced the two of them made a pact and the mouse jumped into his mouth just for a laugh. The mouse was perfectly fine and got released into the wild.

Tiger (whoops!): A black and grey striped tabby wuth a white chin and belly. Got her at 10 weeks old. She's now 17 years old, arthritic and has chronic kidney disease. Nicknames: Tiger Lily, Mullemaus, Muzelchen (yes, German). She's my little old lady who used to be a prolific hunter.

Biscuit: Named after ginger nut buscuits. Suits him to the ground. He's ginger (and white) and he's a complete nutter. He's also my little shadow and following me around the house.

And finally: Scoop. A black and white rescue, he was named after the vet nurse who hand-reared him. Named so because he shovels his food down at amazing speed. 

I once named a kitten Gimme, because she constantly wanted EVERYTHING I had, and I could hear her say. "Give me!" all the time

Great lists!  Our last couple of cats have had Scandinavian names.  Right now we have Ansgar Fritjof.  Fritjof means "theif of peace" and he has lived up to his name every day for all 8 years he has been with us.  :-)

Great article. I've given my furry babies ppl names and fun names. Sometimes I would call my cat  Sambo a lot of the times, his name was Sammy. Sadly, he passed away in my arms on Nov. 5th of last year. He was 19 1/2 yrs old. My lil Sambo :( My other cat is solid black, I found her 12 yrs ago after she obviously got her tail caught in someone's fan belt. Now she's a bobtail haha. I could never come up with a name so I just call her Precious or Precious Babygirl. Our Cav is Andrew, he's too stoic to have a silly name. 

thank you. i will now be naming my kitten loaf.

My neighbors gave great names to their cats: Pandora and Purrnelope.

My family

wsys named our pets actual names, so I grew up with cats and dogs called Winston, Roger, Basil, Dudley, Doris and Gloria. I am now proud Mama to four furbabies Gilbert, Clancy, Trevor and Barbara.  My Mom has a cat Esme and a dog Daphne

My first cat (all strays who rescued me) was a handsome grey and white I named "Tahoe". Next came "Maui" my little black girl. Then, a tuxedo hemmingway found my doorstep and became "Augusta" (my ex was a golfer from Augusta, GA.) "Merlin" is my big beautiful black boy who put a spell on my heart -- his foster Mom did a great job naming him, so I kept it.

And "Fairbanks" was the fluffly Lhasa pooch I found driving home from work one night...named after the street I found him on. Interestingly enough, each animal's personality went with their names. 

I have a cat called something along the lines of Grayie when translated into English, and she had a brother called Blackie (also when translated).

My parents give the most interesting names to everything, most of the time you don't even know what gender they're referring to.

me and siblings are Willow Ash Rowan and Oak

willow and Rowan being the girls

our pets so far have been

Maybe (cat) Mr.gills (beta fish) vanilla bean (rat) choco (rat) Provolone (ferret) licorice (ferret) Sundae (genia pig) caramel (two genia pigs, one was a replacement) fishy (beta fish) Mocha (dog)

most of them have passed now and we only had 3 year old mocha left, so they decided to get two more cats.

Shadow is an all black cat 

my sister Rowan named the on their one, a black cat with white paws and face, Kitty Purry after Katy Perry. 

i can't stand the names so when they're in my room they're called Eren and Nymph. Oddly enough those are the only names they'll answer to, or maybe they just answer to me.

We had Jasmine, then she had three kittens.
My brother mistakenly thought the kittens were all female, and we named them Scout, Sugar, and Tiny.
Sugar was white and had medium-long hair. In fact, the hair on his chest curled, which I thought was very cool

Scout was orange, but he's faded to have the same color hair as my mother- blonde.

Tiny was grey, and he was the tiniest, well, until he grew up.

We had to switch Sugar's name to Mr. Sugar, since he was well, a he. 

Thanks to the vets.

(On a side note, our dog had puppies, and although it was years later, he still incorrectly got the animal's genders, but my mother and I were there. We didn't keep any of the puppies, although I wish we had kept Pudgy. The others were Jackie, Stormageddon Dark Lord of All(Stormy), Toby, and a couple others I'm afraid I don't remember. Unfortunately Stormy, true to her name(and as the only gray puppy) she wasn't very nice.... The rest of the puppies were black. Jackie had a white paw and chest, and was the smallest. Pudgy was well, pure black but larger and smart. Toby somehow had a little cut on his paw, but he was one of my favorites, and a very shy puppy.

Whoops, I'm rambling on about puppies on a cat website.

 

Anyways, I taught Mr. Sugar how to walk on a harness when I was 7, since he was my cat. None of my siblings bothered to walk their cats. I played hide and seek with sugar, and I actually never heard his voice. Then we move and well, he died at a young age via coyotes. Scouts the only one left, and he's grown to a decent age.

My himmie brothers are Skye (for his gorgeous blue eyes) and Subie (cause he runs around like a little rally car and we drive an STI). We had a tabby cat I named Abby Cat and I just rescued a 6 wk old white med hair with grey/blk striped 'wings' on his back. It took 5 days to find his name. He's a booger and on that day his daddy told him,'you little tater head!'  And it fit. SO he became Tater. He gets called Tater bug all the time cause he's only that big. Tater baby. Tater tot. Tater Chip. Tater cake.  I once had a pure black Manx we named Brimstone and a Siamese called Dinker. A black/wht long hair called Limp Puskit and her identical kitten Moo Kitty. A grey long hair called Gravy and from my stoner days, after it ate my Mary Jane plant, a pure black kitty named Buzz. 

...is a difficult matter. It isn't just one of your holiday games. You may think that I'm as mad as a hatter, when I tell you a cat must have three different names. -- T. S. Eliot "Old Possum's Book of Practical Cats"

My current two were named by the woman who rescued them. As they were 3 years old when I got them, I didn't feel I could change the names. Pilchard, who is a black long-hair, was named for Bob, the Builder's cat. Bob, the Builder is a product of the BBC and a "pilchard" is another name for "sardine". Leave it to the British to name a cat after a fish. The other cat is named "Mija", which means "little friend-female" in Spanish. 

My first cat was named "Shakespeare" because I'm an English major. After him, I had Penney, who was named by the woman who rescued her. She just liked the name. "Half-Pint" joined us, so named because, when we rescued her, she weighed 8 ounces, half of a pint. The next 2 were named "Betsy" and "Rascal". My daughter named them and she just liked the names. 

My daughter has a Maine Coon named "Faux". We named him that because Maine Coons get to be the size of small dogs and she was taking French in college when we rescued him. As big as he had the potential to be, we thought "fake" was a great name. He's not a cat, he's a small dog. Her 2nd cat is named "Tobey" and that is the name he was given by the people who had him before giving him to my daughter. She just recently added 2 kittens, "Jacen" and "Jaina". Jacen is a black short-hair (Something about adopting black cats must run in the family.) My son-in-law is a huge "Star Wars" fan and now has his "Darth Vader cat". But they chose the names of Princess Leia and Han Solo's children as the names for their new family members. (You can only find these names, currently, in books.) 

I play World of Warcraft and I have the ability to collect or tame cats as pets. I find myself thinking hard about what name to attach to these digital versions of cats. "The naming of cats is a difficult matter." Indeed it is. 

I don't know if this is in the mix, but my favorite all time name for a cat was a dear friends....

DOG MEAT.  

LOL......  

I have a Pipsqeek and a Luna-Tic currently - care to guess which one is the Tortie? Previous kittehs have been Chuckles, Mouse, Bumper and Grover T. Washington. I went through a bunch of gerbils named Rocky 1,2,3, etc when I was a kid, also!

Sorry Robin my last cat was a Sooty! :D

DOn't worry though will still read the blog as I am pulling for Gracie, loving the silly cat Dood too!
Here is a pic of Sooty

Sooty

(right click and view image for a slightly bigger picture)

Oh mine are not the normal at all, we have


Mookie - Black Siamese Male

Bizzy - Tabico Football shaped girl

Weemer - Grey Male totally spoiled mama's boy

PooChoo- Fat Maine Coon Mix Girl

MiiPii - Black stuby girl

my kittens name is pop

Chewie -- fuzzy like the wookie, and after he recieved the name, started to chew on everything.  (Be careful what you name them!)  AKA  --  the Crazy Black One.

Stubby Kay  -- after the comedian and because she is part manx and has a poof of fur for a tail.

Maggie the Cat  --  although she is mostly white, the skin around her eyes is black.  It looks like eyeliner, so -- Liz Taylor's role in the movie "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof".

Ozzie -- he just looks like an Ozzie.  Dark red tabby with hugh green eyes.  

Thus far I've had

The Amazing Kitty Fantastico (a hemingway cat)

Cap'n Nubbins, Pirate of the carpeted sea (Nubbin or Nub-Tard for short) (he was a manx and had no tail and no smarts)

Pucca Bear (Siamese looking creature)

and lastly

Jubilation Lee (named for an X-man as she was a mutant cat with different colored eyes, not enough toes, no tail, and no smarts)... Her nickname is Jubbles.. Jubs... Jubba-The-Hutt, Jubble-Bubbles.... the list goes on.

so can i name my cat skittles?

Reba, Jessie, Elvis, muffin Top, pokemon, Shiniah

One day, she just decided to change her name to "Mittens" from Gypsy....., so we asked her....why Mittens? She said its a joke staff....I am all black....no mittens to be found......LOL. 

I just saw someone on social media that named their cat Professor Poopenstein. That ranks up there with a friend who named his cat Union Representative. Liked Poopenstein so much I named my new kitten this. I laughed and laughed. It's such a weird name but I'm always looking for unusual. And I have a few cats.

Hello! My cat was named max. He actually passed away today. He was only named max because we mixed him up with another cat that was named max so we just stuck with it.
 

I had Purrdita and Clancy. Then my ex-husband named our third cat Tigger. He was a black cat but still my ex wanted to name him Tigger so there it was. Then I got Shasta. There was a Liger in Hogle Zoo in Salt Lake named Shasta and I thought that was a good name for a feline. Later I adopted two black cats. Their names were Bones and Monster. They were almost 3 years old and had been passed around in various foster homes. I didn't like Bones and Monster so I gave them very original names--Midnite and Shadow. 

It tool us a while and much back and forth with ideas to give this sweet boy a name. But he had a lovely rumbling purr motor, so we agreed n Harley.

 

FWIW, I have never met nor much heard of cats named Harley. I think it's momenst of fame ar sufficiently ov er that it's OK to use again.

I once had a Badger Nubbins.... now I have a Peanut. I also have a horse named Dijon :)

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