Cat Writers' Association Conference: Angel Eyes Fitzgerald

Aside from the fact that I seem to have forgotten to pack my deodorant (thank God for baby powder) and, with perfect timing have developed contact dermatitis over half of my body (fortunately the part I can scratch in public, if necessary), I'm having a great time at the CWA Conference!

There are oodles of upbeat, perky writers, editors, agents and publishers, all willing to share their experiences with newbie ("kitten") attendees, such as myself.

I've met some very awesome folks; some whom I hope to work with one day and some, well, one, who just took my breath away. Yes, dear readers, while I should do my duty and talk all about the breakout sessions, my meetings with two agents and three editors, I can really only talk about one thing right now.

Yes, Dr. Kevin "Cutie Pie" Fitzgerald.

I can't help it. I saw him for REAL, as in alive, in person, da flesh. I honestly did a queer little girlie shriek when I saw him and this was while I was in a meeting with an Agent!( Smooth move on my part, I know!) I only saw him walk past the room. I saw his back. I saw that big mop of delicious hair. It was him all right and it was everything I could do to NOT jump up out of my seat and chase him down the hall and beg him to take me to Colorado with him (even though I'm scared of heights, I'm not Irish, and I'm just a schlub. Although, it never hurts to offer your undying love to a stranger, just in case he'd like a lifetime companion or maybe just someone to quietly and lovingly look across the room at him once in awhile.).

The second time I saw Dr. SC (Super-Cutie) was right before our dinner and his "presentation" (stand up comedy routine!). I herded one of my new friends into the dining room seconds after I saw him enter the room. I figured if two of us chased after him, somehow it would seem cooler, less like we were needy, trembling, (drooling?) losers (okay, just me, not my friend, she never even SAW Dr. SC on TV so she'd have no desire for drooling.), as if I just walked into the room and saw him there. He turned to us and I welcomed him to our group and we introduced ourselves. He reached out to shake my hand and drat! I had a vodka and orange juice in my right hand! Of ALL the times to have a COLD, WET hand, this was NOT what I had dreamed. I dramatically wiped my hand on my pants and took his hand in mine. It was a nice handshake. Not too firm or limp like a dead fish (I hate that, don't you?). He LOOKED me right in the eyes and since he's quite tall and I am quite not tall, he was kind enough to bend down a bit.

It was all I could do to not pass out when I saw his eyes. They sparkled. Or maybe it was just his sweet personality shining through? His eyes are clear, vivid blue and against the backdrop of his thick white mane (which is quite long, dusting slightly over his shoulders) and white mustache, it makes them appear even brighter, almost lit from within.

I asked him about doing standup comedy and he was very supportive and interested when I told him I'd been doing some standup at a local coffee house. He told me to practice in front of a video camera to help me get comfortable with my timing and to just get out and do my thing at clubs.

It wasn't so much what he said, but the way he said things. He was attentive and kind and willing to have a conversation, not too famous to talk to the "regular" folks. I got the sense that he deeply cares about people and maybe that way down deep his heart is a bit broken, but he's okay with that. He seems to be a sweet, sweet man and with everything else he has going for him, he is also FAR more handsome in person.

I got my photo taken with him and he PUT HIS ARM AROUND ME and held me in close! He must have done this a gillion times before with so many other gushing fans, but he did it with sincerity. He knows what it means to us to have a moment with him and he is courteous about that.

He also made us laugh our collective ass off.

And he's a Vet.

And he's just plain brilliant.

AND his MOTHER lives with him and he's taking care of her.

What the HELL is wrong with this guy? There's gotta be something! Maybe he's bad in bed? Or a lousy kisser? Or maybe he really doesn't like CATS??!!!

I wonder if someday he'll go on Oprah and tell us what it is and we'll all be shocked. Like-Oh he's really bald and been married for 25 years, but he keeps his wife locked in a room-YES-like what Mr. Rochester does in "Jane Eyre"! That's gotta be it. It's gotta be!

'cuase if it's not...the most perfect guy in the world is downstairs in this hotel right now and all I can do is scratch at my contact dermatitis and wish to God I weighed 50 lbs less, was 6 inches taller and had a roll of duct tape and some rope.