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The Unbearable Cuteness of (little) Beings

I can't take it.

Two of Winnie's kittens are here. The others are with their foster mom in a neighboring town, waiting to be spayed/neutered in two weeks. Because Charly and Buttons had their procedures last week, they're ready to find their forever homes.

CHarly and buttons.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson. Buttons (left) and Charly (right).

The problem is they're so cute I can't stand the idea of them leaving.

To make matters worse they're great kittens. I don't know what foster mom Donna does, but whatever it is, these kittens are warm, loving, gentle and sweet.

Button Stretch.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson.

The first night they were here their little bodies shook with fear. They were scared in their new environment without their mama, Winnie, to look after them. I stayed with them for a long while, petting them, giving them treats, comforting them. They responded by purring and leaning into my hands.

Buttons batting toy.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson.

I always feel guilty about separating the kittens from their mama, but it must be done. Winnie was spayed. She has a home with Donna. She's had at least three litters of kittens-three litters too many. She's done her time. It's time for her to recover and enjoy life without the burden of pregnancy in a home that will treat her with compassion and respect (and lots of love, too).

Charly and Green Wand Toy.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson. Charly thinking so hard his tongue came out.

Charly and Buttons have only been here for a few days, but if I could I'd spend day and night with them. I'm a sucker for long haired cats and it's rare that I ever get any to foster. In a way that's probably a good thing or I fear I'd have a zillion more “foster fail” cats and many fewer adoptions.

Charly on Tub.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson.

I keep torturing myself. Who would be good enough to adopt these kittens?

Within an hour of posting the kittens on Petfinder, I had 4 offers to adopt them. As with all our foster kittens, I'll be careful to review each application and hopefully will find someone amazing. All I know is, whoever adopts these cats is going to be VERY LUCKY.

Buttons in the CUbe.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson.

My fear is that they won't get enough attention, that they will lose their sweetness if handled roughly. Am I saying our adopters do that? Certainly not, but once out of Donna's loving care, then mine, what will become of them?

Charly forelorn.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson.

I always have to push aside my fears when doing adoptions. There has to be a point where I let go. It's unbearable to look into their eyes and feel myself getting lost in their adorable faces. I struggle to turn away. I make myself think about my cats-the cats I made a commitment to who depend on me and need my love. I want to make excuses as to why these kittens can't be adopted just yet so I can have more time with them, but that's foolish, too. That's not how you run a cat rescue.

Charly with Wood Wand.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson.

I savor their sweetness, their silly antics, their awkward movements not yet refined into that of a graceful adult. Their adult coats haven't come in yet and they have spiky hairs along their backs that indicate just how long their coats will be one day.

Buttons Portrait copy.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson. Beautiful Buttons.

One day that I will not witness…

Considering the toy.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson. What IS this?

In some ways it feels like I have a secret lover. I look at Charly and Buttons and I forget my troubles for awhile. It's an escape from tension in the house, the cats misbehaving, the bills growing. All I have to do is have fun and love them, guide them with a gentle hand and make sure their tummies are full. They don't have behavioral issues or diseases to treat (knock wood). They don't irritate me as my own cats sometimes do. It's the first blush of love and I'm certainly hooked. I feel reluctant to leave them to tend to the other cats. It's like going back to my husband after a whirlwind affair.

Cat Toy Photobomb.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson. Cat toy photobomb.

Reality kicks in and I move on to other things. I know they're upstairs playing or napping or looking out the window as the dried autumn leaves flicker past the window on a gust of wind.

CHarly playtime.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson. Little hunter.

I find myself longing for our next meeting and trying to think of an excuse to go check on them. I know our time is running out. Soon they'll be adopted and all I'll have are these photos and my memories.

Buttons Portrait on Cube.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson. Is my butt too heavy for this cat cube?

Once in awhile the door to my heart opens. Each time the hinges grow more stiff and it's harder to open the door. I know the pain of letting them in, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I get to be around little beings at the best time of their life. I get to enjoy all the good stuff for awhile and it will revive me until the next time it happens.

Cuties on Cat Tree copy.jpg
©2012 Robin A.F. Olson. Hello!

These are the ones who remind me that my capacity for love is infinite. It doesn't run out when I feel heartbreak. It always comes back full, complete and profound.

Comments

They are ADORABLE.  Of course.  I'm very glad Winnie is spayed and in her loving, permanent home.  I'm also glad about the prospects these babies have.  And yes, enjoy and savor the time and cherish the memories and photos when the eventual adoptions occur.  May the wonder and love you feel for them also find its way to your own beloved cats! 

Aww, how beautiful they are! Little Buttons is what we call here a speck-nose! Our kittygirl Arwen is marked similarly. I would be in love with every kitty and don't know if I could let any go...you are amazing, Robin, whatever you decide is best for these two! I'll pray for the best possible outcome for you all. HUGS!!

My "mom" goes all squieeee and awwwww <3

I can see how tough it will be to let these precious little fluffs go, but imagine the joy they will bring to someone else, hopefully maybe some good children that can grow up with them.  I don't know how you can stop yourself from squeezing all the marshmallow stuffing out of them!

As a foster mom to many cats and kittens, I understand how easy it is to love them and how hard it is to let them go. But let them go, we must so we can help more. I also understand how hard it is to think that someone else will give them as good a home as we could, but that's not healthy for us or the cats and kittens. We do what we can, be very diligent about their new homes and send them on their way with a prayer and lots of love. And then we start all over again . . .

What absolutely beautiful kittens - no wonder you are smitten. Perfect little puffballs of cotton wool fur with sparkling marbles for eyes and kissable little paddy paws. And lovely natured too! They will soon find their forever homes and be adored as they deserve.

Robin - I love your photographs - they are really natural, sharp and well composed. 

I loved reading this post, in spite of the underlying sadness - you wrote it beautifully

Barbara UK

"...my capacity for love is infinite. It doesn't run out when I feel heartbreak. It always comes back full, complete and profound."  I like that thought.  Very much.  It mirrors my own.  Each living being is unique, precious and irreplaceable.  But when someone passes on, it doesn't and shouldn't mean you stop caring or loving or helping others.  Those activities are what make life bearable.  Thank you for stating it so well!

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